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He was going to have to live with that. The rest of the hurt was for Pete. And yet, how much did Pete really miss her? He sure wasn't acting sad. Maybe it just hadn't soaked in yet. It was hard for kids to understand death.

Eli understood, though. He couldn't even think about something happening to Pete. And Marilyn had faced it. She'd lived through it. Far from leaving her untouched, reality had beat hell out of her, stolen away a child and a husband in a single year's time. And she'd survived.

Reality had knocked her on her ass. She'd been down to her knees, maybe even flat on her face, but she was getting back up again. She was standing on her feet, ready to take reality on once more. Who was he to think she couldn't do it?

"Can I turn the key again, Eli?" Pete fastened his seat belt. "Since your cast is in the way and stuff?"

"Sure, kid." Eli watched Pete lean across and carefully turn the car key until the engine caught.

"Eli?"

"Yeah?" He had to work to get the gear changed with just fingertips, even if the car was an automatic.

"Are you really, truly my dad?"

"Yep. Really and truly."

"Are you sure? I mean, Mom has lots of boyfriends. Maybe--"

"I'm sure. Do you know what DNA is? Have you studied it in school?"

"No."

Damn. "What do you know about babies, about where they come from?"

Pete made a face. "From sex. They grow inside the mother. Gross."

Eli had to laugh. "So half the DNA, the stuff that starts a baby growing, comes from the mom and half from the dad. And they can test that now. Some scientists looked inside your blood and inside mine, and saw that half of your DNA came from me. So yeah, I'm really truly sure that I'm really truly your dad. Okay?"

"Yeah." Pete didn't look any happier though, and Eli thought he knew why.

 "But you know what? Even if the test said you were some other guy's kid, I wouldn't care. You know what I would have done? Adopted you. I was there when you were born, Pete. You were the ugliest thing I ever saw, all red and scrawny and pointy-headed. But I knew right then that you were mine. I was your dad, no matter what. Okay? No matter what. If I wanted to be your dad then, ugly as you were, I'm sure not going to change my mind now you've cuted up some."

"So, why didn't you tell me?"

Damn good question. "'Cause I'm stupid, I guess." Eli shook his head. "Maybe I wasn't too sure you'd want me for your dad."

Pete gave him a disgusted look. "Guess you are stupid, then. Who wouldn't want you for a dad?"

"Yeah?" Eli glanced at him. That wasn't what he said last night at the hospital.

"Yeah. I mean, you have a Harley. And your girlfriend has a house and an apartment." Pete grinned, and Eli had to laugh. Maybe he meant it. It felt good.

"Eli?"

"Yeah, squirt." What now?

"Are Marilyn's kids all old? She's a mom too, right?"

He took a deep breath and let it out. Probably better if he explained things now. "Yeah, Pete, she's a mom. Her daughter is at college. She's eighteen. But her son died. He got sick when he was about your age, and he died."

"Oh."

"It was a long time ago, before you started kindergarten, but sometimes she still feels bad about it. She still cries sometimes because she misses him. So if she does, don't think it's because she doesn't like you, or because you did something wrong. She's just sad." God, he hoped this worked.

Eli pulled into Marilyn's garage and hit the button to start the automatic door going down. "You okay with that?"

Pete got out of the car, dragging the box of bagels behind him. "Is it okay if I cry sometimes because I miss my mom?"

"Yeah, Pete. That's okay too."

They made up to the house, Pete "helping" Eli over the icy spots, going in the back door this time. Eli made Pete hang his coat on the hook instead of dropping it on the mudroom floor.

"Eli?" Pete stopped beside the coathooks. "You think it would be okay if I gave Marilyn a hug when she cries? Maybe if I gave her a hug, she wouldn't feel so sad."

Eli looked up to see Marilyn standing in the doorway, tears streaming down her cheeks. Damn it, not again. But she was smiling, almost. "I don't know," he said. "Why don't you ask her?"

Pete looked up at her, uncertainty all over his face. "Uh--"

Marilyn just opened her arms. Pete took two steps, wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed tight. Her tears kept coming. Pete pulled back and gave her a skeptical look. "You're still crying."

"I know." She swiped at her cheeks. "But I feel a whole lot better."

"But you're still crying."

"Don't worry about it, Pete." Eli handed him back the box of bagels. "It's a girl thing. I don't get it either."

Marilyn socked him in the arm.

Joey showed up in time to scarf down three bagels. Pete didn't eat all of one before he got up from the card table and headed off to explore.

"You missed Mom." Marilyn poured another cup of the coffee made from stale beans left behind.

"She came? Damn, I was afraid of that." Joey picked up the piece of bagel Pete had left and cut off the tooth marks.

"How'd she know I was here?" Marilyn watched in amazement as he slathered on cream cheese. Then he picked up the bitten parts of bagel he'd cut off and ate them too. "Mom?"

Red spots appeared on his cheeks above his several-day-old scruff. "I--uh--was thinking about other stuff when she called, on my way out to come over here yesterday. So when she asked where I was going, like an idiot, I told her. Sorry."

"Probably just as well." Marilyn leaned back in her chair, holding her mug in both hands, her ankle hooked over Eli's.

"I

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