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is. “I guess you can’t just ask the crew if they supplied an illegal sex drug to the passengers?”

Logan snorts. “No. And going over it today with the cruise people, there are a dozen ways on and off these ships. If a crew member’s bringing drugs on-board, they only have to find a one hole in security. If the security people are in on it, they wouldn’t even have to find a hole.”

“So how do you find out whodunit, sir?”

“Old fashioned detecting.” He stretches. My muscles envy his stretch and I follow his example, pushing my toes down under the covers. That’s such a nice feeling, stretching in a cozy bed. “Or, in this case, a lot of interviews. I’ll keep comparing stories until I find the gaps. I don’t know anything about cruises, but I know about running a boat. It takes a schedule, sometimes a damn tight schedule. If the crew are selling drugs to passengers, there will be deviations from the schedule. People in places they shouldn’t be, when they shouldn’t be there. That’s what I’m looking for.”

“That sounds hard to spot.”

Logan shrugs. “That’s what I do, sweetheart.”

“Can I help?” I ask.

“Sure. If you want to go over each day’s interviews with me at night, that’d be a big help. I often have my best insights while I’m talking things through with my partner.”

“I’d love that.” Then a thought strikes me that’s more likely to keep me awake than anything else he’s told me. “Sir, when you say your partner, is that Manny or your old sub, Miranda?”

Logan’s lips tighten. “Mir. Although I can call Manny if I need to. Why?”

I shrug. He clearly doesn’t want to talk about her. “I’m just wondering how I can help, you know, like she used to.”

“Baby doll, it doesn’t matter how she used to help. She’s not here. You are. If you’re comparing yourself to Miranda, stop.”

“I’m not.” At his lifted eyebrow, I amend that statement. “Okay, I am. It’s just that you were with her for a long time.”

“Yeah, I was. And she was helpful sometimes. Other times she was a pain in my ass. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, baby doll, although I probably thought it was at the time.” He rubs his hand over his face. “Hindsight’s twenty-twenty, isn’t it? When I look back now, I can’t see past the things she said which turned out not to be true. Or the things she didn’t say, which turned out to be truer than the things she did.”

“Oh, sir.” I scoot close to the phone and cup it in my hands, wishing I were cupping his face. “I understand. I spent years remembering those things. The promises he made which were nothing but air. They haunted me for a long time. It doesn’t really get better, sir. But it gets dimmer.”

“Dimmer?” He lifts an eyebrow.

“That’s the best way I can describe it. It still hurts, if I let myself think about it. But I don’t think about it as often as I did, and the pain’s gotten distant. More like the memory of pain than pain itself.”

Logan takes a deep breath and blows it out. “Did you hate yourself for missing him?”

“Yes. And I hated everyone who told me that I needed to move on. Easy for them to say. They didn’t waste five years of their life on him.”

“I don’t feel like I wasted five years.” He shifts and settles deeper into the pillows. “But anyone who tells me I need to move on is risking a punch in the face.”

“I’ll never say that to you, sir,” I promise.

“You won’t need to, baby doll. I want you to stop comparing yourself to her, or the other women I’ve topped, because there’s no comparison. I haven’t thought about her, or anyone else, since I’ve been with you. Topping you takes up all my headspace. Maybe that’s what’ll make it dimmer for me, huh? When the cruise doctor was boring me to death on the phone today, you know what I was doing?” When I shake my head, he continues, “I was writing out more ideas for scenes. Making lists of things I want to do with you, stuff I’ll need. I told you, I haven’t been this fired up in years, and that includes the time I was with Mir. This feels like a big new adventure, baby doll. Like when I first discovered kink. It’s that exciting for me. I know it’s not for you, but I hope you’ll catch a little of my fire—”

“Oh, sir,” I protest. “This is exciting for me. It’s so exciting, and I can’t wait to do all those scenes with you.”

“Good. Let’s focus on that, huh? What we’re going to do together, instead of what someone else did or would have done.”

“Yes, sir.” I get it. He doesn’t walk to talk about his other subs or his past. His reasons are different than I’ve heard before, but the effect is the same.

“You know, you haven’t called me Daddy once since I called.” Logan rubs his hand over his face. “Is everything okay, baby doll? Have I done something wrong?”

“Oh, no! No, not at all.” I almost call him Daddy, but it feels forced, so I don’t. “I guess I’m just not feeling little tonight. Today was a pretty adult day.”

“Seeing your mum and going to the mall. That second one is a nasty, adult thing to do, I agree.”

I shake my head at him. Men and their aversion to shopping. “For someone who hates the mall, you dress pretty snappy, sir.”

“Yeah, thank God for online shopping.” I roll my eyes at him. As if I’d ever believe he ordered the suit he wore to the club online; I know bespoke tailoring when I see it. He chuckles. “Seriously, though, was your visit with your mum okay?”

I nod. “She doesn’t remember who I am. She hasn’t for about six months.” When he reaches for the phone as though he’s reaching for me, I

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