Myth 18 - MythChief Asprin, Robert (urban books to read TXT) 📖

me take out my business partners. We started this ... er, im-​port business together, and now I think they're planning to freeze me out. So, I want to dispose of them first.”

“Murder?” I sputtered. “I don't kill people!”

“Okay, okay, don't think of it as killing them,” Rokra said, hastily. “Maybe as a surprise departure from this life? Or how about thisdump them off in a dimension without magik. That'd make us both happy. They don't die, but they won't be around anymore to bollix up my busi-​ness. How about it?”

“Sorry,” I said, coldly, standing up. “I can recommend a couple of Guild assassins I know. Standard rates. You don't need me.”

“But they're sneaky!” Rokra insisted. “Look, I heard you're the best. I need the best.”

“Sorry,” I repeated, a little more firmly. I beckoned, and Gleep strode into the room, preceded by an almost visible exhalation of sulfur-​scented breath. “That's not what I do.”

“No one knows what it is you do do,” Rokra said. “Maybe so,” I agreed, “but what you want is not it. Thanks for dropping in.”

Rokra tried holding on to the arms of the chair, but Gleep was good at winkling grubworms out of stumps on Klah. He wriggled his nose under the Deveel's tail and heaved upward.

Rokra shot out of the chair. “You guys, living on your reputations!” he raged. That's all I have, I thought, as my dragon escorted him out. The next would-​be client had a proposition. Cardenilla, a tall, willowy Deveel, fluttered red eyelids at me. “You look like the kind of guy who would understand a girl's problems,” she said. “I'll try,” I promised. “What kind of question do you need answered?”

“Well,” she began breathily, leaning forward so I got a generous glimpse of cleavage, “All I want is a little peace and quiet. I made a mistake, I admit it. I rented out my roof to a Gargoyle. Whenever I go past him, he dumps water on me. He's a pain in the tail. I want him gone.”

“Have you tried talking to him?” I asked. This started to sound intriguing. I had a buddy who was a Gargoyle. The solid-​stone guys always struck me as pretty easygoing. I wondered what had set him off. Could Gargoyles go in-​sane? Was he interested in Cardenilla?

“Talk to him? Of course I've talked to him!” the woman said. “Big, ugly oaf. He just says that that's what Gargoyles do. He said he thought I knew. I can't stand it anymore. Please, pretty please, Mr. Skeeve. Get that beast off my roof.”

“Er. ..” It was tempting. It would give me a chance to get to know a little more about Gargoyles. But, no. “Let me give you a referral, no charge. Try M.Y.T.H., Inc. They're really good at that kind of job. They're right here in the Bazaar. I can give you directions.”

Cardenilla waved a hand. “I already talked to them.” “You did? Then what are you doing here?”

She opened large, outraged eyes at me. “They had the nerve to quote me four gold coins for the job. Four! So, I came to you.”

I shook my head. “Well, my price for the job is ten.” “Ten! You're just one Klahd! Why do you cost more than twice what they're asking?”

“You pay for my time and experience,” I said severely. There was no way I was going to undercut my friends.

“Well, forget it,” the Deveel woman said, rising to her hooves. I could see steam trickling out of her pointed red ears. “I'm going back to them! You've got some kind of nerve! Ten gold coins, just for throwing one big, fat Gargoyle off one roof!”

She stormed out past Gleep. I sighed. His big blue eyes fixed me with a puzzled look. “Skeeve ... okay .. . ?” he asked. Did I mention that my dragon can talk?

Gleep may only be a baby, but he's far more intelli-​gent than anyone else realized. Even I didn't know he was that smart for a long time. Now we keep the secret between us. Not even Bunny knew. That made him my real secret weapon.

“Yes, I'm okay,” I said. He lolloped over to me and slimed my face with a swipe of his long tongue. “I miss my friends.”

“Still.. . friends,” Gleep assured me. I scratched vigorously behind his ears with both hands, which caused his eyelids to droop happily. “I know. I just hope that they know it.”

Myth 18 - MythChief

FOUR

“Who cares what people think?” G. GALLUP

The next few days brought would-​be clients with most of the same requests as the first few. Most of them wanted me to undertake dangerous adventures, mostly treasure retrieval type or disposal of former friends or business as-​sociates type. Pretty straightforward adventuring. None of them was what I was interested in doing. A few I just turned away, but the profitable-​sounding prospects I tried to steer back to my friends. I wasn't going to tread on their territory if there was any way to avoid it.

I sat with my head propped on my palm, trying not to look bored, as my sixth visitor of the day went through his “simple plan.”

“. .. So all you have to do is go to the Temple of the Six Temptations in Harbold, pry the big yellow stone out of the idol on the center altar, and bring it back to me. Perfectly easy,” Oobloo, a hearty Orkta told me, leaning back at ease, or, rather, sprawling all over my guest chair.