Honor Bound Joey Hill (best new books to read txt) 📖

his. “I’m glad you showed up when you did. And thank you.”

He laughed. “I didn’t do anything. Looks like you had him under control when I got here.”

She pulled on his hands and he sat on the bench next to her. God, he looked fine. So different from his jeans and long-sleeved shirt. Tonight he wore black linen pants and a black silk short-sleeved shirt. His face was always tan from working outdoors, and his blue eyes mesmerized her.

“I think your intimidation helped get rid of him. I’m not sure he was ever going to get the hint.”

“Well, he’s gone now.”

“Yes, he is.”

He studied her without saying a word. Ella found herself not minding that at all.

“You look different.”

Leave it to Clay to say something like that. “Is that good or bad?”

“It’s good. You always look beautiful. You just don’t look like you usually do. I like you just fine in jeans and a T-shirt. But this dress . . . Goddamn, Ella. You look hot.”

Her heart stopped. Shawn had told her at least thirty-eight times that she was beautiful. It had meant nothing to her. One compliment from Clay and she had melted to the bench.

“Thank you. I wasn’t sure you even knew I was a woman.”

He arched a brow. “I’ve always known you were a woman. I just try not to treat you like one.”

She laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Good.”

Being with Clay was so . . . easy. She knew him, had known him since she and James had started in the construction business all those years ago. With Clay she could be herself, didn’t have to pretend. He’d seen her at her very worst. There was nothing to hide from him.

“Ella, why are you here?”

Well, maybe she had one thing to hide from him.

“I’m on vacation.”

“And that’s it. You came all the way to Hawaii—by yourself—to rest.”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit. Tell me why you’re really here.”

She arched away from him. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“I’m making it my business.”

“Now you’re being a pushy bastard.”

“Yeah? And?”

She couldn’t help herself. She laughed. “Why can’t I stay mad at you?”

“Because I’m irresistible.”

She rolled her eyes. “You probably use that line on the ladies. And it probably works.”

“It does.”

“God. You’re unbelievable.”

“They all say that, too.”

She liked that he was here. Despite wanting to do this vacation on her own, she was happy Clay had shown up. Though it did put a major crimp on the sex thing. How was she going to pick up a guy with Clay around? And she still had a niggling suspicion . . .

“So I’ll tell you what, Clay. You come clean with me and I’ll do the same. Tish told you why I was coming here, didn’t she?”

“No. She didn’t. But I was kind of hoping you would.”

He was telling the truth. Damn. She and Clay had gotten close after James’s death. But not that close. Not close enough to divulge her desperate need for sex.

“Um . . .”

“You didn’t know that guy, did you?”

“No.”

“Okay.” He looked away.

“What?”

“I thought you had come here to meet someone.”

She blew out a breath. Explanation time. She hated this. “I did.”

He shifted his gaze back on her. “But not him.”

“No.”

“Then who?”

She shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I know. This is difficult for me to explain to you. You and I . . . we don’t have the kind of relationship where I can talk about . . . intimate things.”

“Oh. Well, sure we do. Okay, we don’t. Not yet, anyway. But we can.” He leaned back and slung his arm across the back of the bench. “You can tell me anything, Ella.”

She probably could. And Clay got around . . . a lot. He knew things . . . about sex. About relationships. Maybe he could help her figure this out. If she could survive the embarrassment.

She took a deep breath, then let it out. “I’m here for sex.”

Four

Ella tried not to grimace when Clay’s jaw dropped.

“Um . . . what?”

“Sex. S-E-X. I need sex. That’s what I came to Hawaii to get.”

“You mean you haven’t . . . ?”

“Since James died? No, I haven’t.”

“Oh. Well. Really? No one? It’s been five years, Ella.”

“I know. I wasn’t ready.”

“And you are now.”

“Yes.”

“Then why can’t you get that back home? I mean, honey, I’m sure there’s plenty of guys in Tulsa who’d love to fuck you.”

She laughed. “That’s nice of you to say. But that’s not what I want.”

Clay rubbed the spot above his brow. “I’m confused. You can’t have sex with any man you know in your own hometown. Why not?”

She shifted to face him. “Because I know all those guys. They’re all friends and coworkers of James. I don’t want to have sex with someone who knew James. Someone who knows me, who knows my story. I want a clean slate. I don’t want a relationship.”

“And you think no one will have sex with you—without strings?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just didn’t want to go there. Not with guys I know.”

“And not with men who knew James.”

“Yes.”

“Not every man in that city knows you or knew James.”

“I know that, too. I just wanted to get away.” Away from the familiar, away from memories of the man she’d loved, from the place where the two of them had built their lives together, where every building, every street, didn’t remind her of James.

“So you came to Hawaii, intending to pick up some random guy and fuck him?”

“Yes.” But now that he said it out loud it sounded like a really stupid idea. “I guess I hadn’t really thought that one through.”

“It’s not safe, Ella.”

She rolled her eyes. “Guys do it all the time.”

“Guys can take care of themselves.”

“And women can’t? You know I can.”

“Yes, I know you can. I just wish you wouldn’t. Not here. Not by yourself.”

“Not where you can’t keep an eye on me? Come on, Clay. What are you going to do?

Stand in the bedroom and watch over the guy I’m having sex