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my boots off. They were solidly crusted with ice and snow. Once free of them he rubbed my feet to try and get the circulation to return. Eventually they eased me back and gave me some warm chocolate which I was able to sip. They all just sat and looked at me. I closed my eyes then and let the quiet and stillness take me back to a place of peace and dreamed of my old dog.

***

I awoke gasping for breath. Sleep apnea had returned, but I was startled more by the shafts of sunlight. They were arrows of light piercing the cracks in the rock. I sat up and was immediately dizzy. After a few moments my head cleared and I realized I was alone. My boots were next to my bunk and I struggled into them and pulled my sleeping bag around myself and headed for the door.

The brilliance made me stop and blink my eyes and it took a moment to orient myself. Cho Oyo stood like a giant castle looming over me, outlined by the most intense blue sky I have ever seen. Chris and Curtis were 50 yards down the trail and staring at the mountain in complete awe. Neither spoke, but Chris shook his head a time or two, and I knew he was not even aware of it. They were completely transfixed. I turned and followed the trail through the broken snow. Christian stood on a giant boulder and I walked in his direction. I stopped and looked around. It was more beautiful and majestic then I remembered. It was amazing.

Cho Oyo was only 7 miles due north, a monstrous mountain standing alone against the sky. Gyachung Kang, over 26,000 feet was slightly to the right of her, and to the east stood the massive triumvirate of Everest, Lhotse, and Lhotse Shar, all approaching 28,000 feet, with Mount Everest towering over them all at 29,100 feet. Further east stood Makalu, Ama Dablam and Thamserku. After all the weeks of clouds and rain and gloomy skies, after the nightmare that yesterday had been, I felt reborn. Thought left me and I could only stand in awe and let waves of wonder and humility wash over.

Finally I became aware of Christian. He looked in one direction and then the next, turning first toward the north and the amazing bulk of Cho Oyo and then spinning to search the sides of Ama Dablam and Thamserku. One direction and then the next; it was as if he could not embrace it all fast enough and needed to drink it all in with one giant gulp. Finally he stopped and looked at Mount Everest. It is Sagarmatha to the Nepali people – The Churning Stick of the Ocean of Existence. The Tibetans call it Chomolonga – the Goddess of the Wind.

Christian stood staring at the Mountain framed in the sapphire blue sky, its sides newly painted in a perfect coat of brilliant white snow and slowly he raised his arms. I watched as tears spilled down his cheeks, unnoticed and unacknowledged. He lifted his arms up and reached and reached outward in a nearly holy moment of epiphany and transcendence of spirit. He reached out with hands that were unlined, unscarred by time and life’s passing cruelties; hands that were free of the travails of a lifetime of work. He reached out with the simple joy and innocence of wonder and youth.

And so I quietly left him there, standing on the backbone of the earth, reaching out to touch the face of God.

Chapter 17

Arrival

Descending is always faster than climbing, even when your knees hurt and your quads get shaky. We passed Gokyo and did not stop until we reached Machermo where we ate a lunch prepared by the lodge. We continued on and finally arrived at Dole where we spent the night. It seemed as if years had passed since we had been there last, but it had only been three days. Each place we passed, Bim would go in and warn the lodges of what had happened. We did not want any others to suffer.

The next day I was able to check into the tiny hospital at Khunde. The doctor had an accent that I could not identify and was not in the least chatty. He didn’t seem to approve of me or like me, but he did start an I.V. and examined my face. The others continued down to Namche Bazaar. Before they left I reimbursed them all for the money that had been stolen and gave Bim enough money for all our expenses. A Sirdar’s job is to negotiate and handle all finances on the trek.

After three days I woke to find Christian sitting on the bunk next to mine.

“How are you feeling?”

“Sore, but better.”

“I brought you some new clothes. And a coat…” He got up and opened a backpack and pulled out a small rucksack, like a sleeping bag. He opened it and pulled out a huge coat. It was an Eddie Bauer Expedition Weight, goose down coat, with a gortex outer cover. I was impressed. “Where did you get this?

“Oh, I guess a lot of people just leave their stuff here after they’ve gone up the mountains,” he said. “They re-sell it. I hope the t-shirt and underwear are new, though.” He laughed his boyish laugh and I ruffled the hair on his head. He was unchanged. He seemed happy.

“Sensei, I need to say something. I just want you to know that standing up to those guys was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen. It was really amazing. I feel humbled just to know you.” He stared at the floor.

I looked at

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