Myth 18 - MythChief Asprin, Robert (urban books to read TXT) đź“–
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“Rescue them?” I echoed. “We just got away from a bunch of Hermalaya's own castle guards who were told to kill her if she ever came back home. Let him rot. Aahz can get out of trouble on his own. As he is always telling me, he's a lot better at it than I will ever be.”
“No, Skeeve,” Tananda said, opening large green eyes at me. “He's not going to get out of this one without help. Those swamps are full of weird old magik, like nothing I have ever seen before. It's way out of my league. That squid could drown them all before I get back. He needs you. Hurry. You can argue with him later.”
“Squid?” I asked. “What squid?”
“The Old Folks sicced it on us. They're pretty angry about all the advertising the Deveels have plastered around the kingdom.”
I was puzzled. “The Old Folks? They're not dangerous at all. They're just a bunch of ghosts. They played Musical Chairs with us. They ate Cake.”
“Skeeve, he really is in trouble. This isn't a joke.”
“I am afraid this lady is right?” Hermalaya said. “The Old Folks are pretty much just as formidable as they were when they were alive. Only they can't die anymore, so they can indulge fits of temper when they feel like it? They had some pretty mean things to say when Matfany tossed me out of the castle, but I thought it was best for my people to comply with his wishes? But they were never happy about it. If he walked into their midst, then it could be very bad for them.”
“Don't let the contest blind you to what is really impor-​tant, what?” Chumley said. “Aahz isn't your enemy.”
“No, he's not.” My temper was softening. I remembered all the good days. I even thought back fondly on those times when he called me names and made fun of me. It was nothing personal. Most Pervects didn't even talk to Klahds. Aahz had been the best friend I ever had in my life. I owed him many favors, not just one little lifesaving expedition. I had to get out there. “You're right,” I said. “He would do the same for me. He wouldn't leave me in danger.”
“That's it,” Bunny said. “This contest isn't about your friendship.” “Can you take me back?” I asked Tananda.
“Oh, I can get you in there,” Tananda said. She snapped her fingers, and all the mud fell off her hair and clothes.
“The Old Folks don't mind anyone coming into their do-​main. They're just fussy about who they let out again. We have to hurry!”
I reached up into the force line that stretched over the office and filled up my reserves. “I'm ready.”
“Wait a minute!” Hermalaya exclaimed. She put her arms around me and Tananda. “I'm coming with you?”
“Okay by me. It's your dry-​cleaning bill.” Tananda clapped her hands together. BAMF!
Myth 18 - MythChief
THIRTY -FIVE
“One's descendants are always a disappointment.”
RAMESES II
The wave of smell hit me before anything else. It was like old cheese wrapped in burning newspapers with a touch of unwashed laundry. I gagged. Hermalaya detached herself from us.
“Aahz?” Tananda called. “Can you hear me?” “Over here ...” came a faint little voice.
I created a globe of brilliant white light. Suddenly, I could see that we were surrounded by spooky-​looking trees heavy with hanging beards of moss. Creepers dangled overhead in swags and loops. Insects immediately homed in on the light, diving in and out of the white globe. My feet immediately sank into the spongy surface.
“Watch it,” Tanda said. “It's pretty deep.”
I levitated until I could walk on the surface of the marsh. Tananda used a little of her own magik to guide me.
The ground was an expanse of uneven masses. I glided from one semisolid lump to another.
“There they are!” Tananda exclaimed, pointing to three blobs. I hurried after her. One green blob looked scalier than the others. I realized it was Aahz's head. All three of them were buried up to their lower lips in mud. Aahz's bat-​wing ears were flat on the surface of the marsh.
“Don't make waves,” Guido said, stiffly. “This stuff tastes worse than dorm food.” I knelt beside them. “Are you guys all right?” I asked. Aahz glared at me. “What took you so long?”
Tananda burst out. “Aahz! Don't be ungrateful! Skeeve came out just as soon as we told him you were in trouble.”
“What makes you think I'm in trouble?” Aahz asked. “We're just having a mud bath while a marsh squid drowns us so it can have an off-​world buffet!”
“What's a marsh squid?” I asked.
A huge splash broke the silence. “That is,” Tananda said, pointing. My globe of light wasn't large enough to illuminate the entire expanse of the creature that surfaced.
It looked like what stomach flu felt like. It was a sickly green mass of squirming, writhing tentacles with an ugly face that even its mother must have had a hard time loving. Two big round eyes as flat as dinner plates stared at us. One of the tentacles coiled out at me faster than whipsnap.
I was ready for it. I charged up the globe of light and threw it right into those eyes. It exploded in a blazing star-​burst. Without eyelids to cover them, the squid was sud-​denly blinded. It squealed like an injured rhinophant and contracted its body to protect its offended orbits.
I heard a yell of protest from Aahz and Guido. The waves of the thrashing squid
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