Mister West R.J. Lewis (macos ebook reader txt) 📖

moment to process his words, stunned by how accurate all of it sounds. “I didn’t want to hurt him.”

“But he hurt you.”

I nod. “It doesn’t make sense out loud. I can’t explain why I took the pain as much as I did. I think you’re right, I kept thinking it wasn’t him. I kept waiting for the good again because it felt so good when the fights blew over and we were on a high together. I… humanized him when I don’t think I should have.”

“You humanized him because of your empathy?”

I give him a funny look. “Do you not know what it’s like to stick around when you shouldn’t?”

His eyes narrow as he studies me. “I don’t.”

“You’ve…never been through it? A bad break up or…a long relationship?”

“No,” he says, watching my reaction carefully. “I’ve put my company first. I never had time to fall in love.” He smiles now at my expression. “You don’t like my response, Ivy?”

“You think it’s time that makes you fall in love and not circumstance that’s out of your control?”

“Are you referring to destiny?”

I shake my head. “Not necessarily. I’m talking about your day-to-day meeting people, going places, interacting with women. You’ve never met someone that just struck a cord in you?”

His chest slows as he looks me over. “I have.”

I think he’s talking about me, but I can’t be bold enough to think that with certainty. I feel almost scared to be disappointed.

I swallow, bracing myself. “And what happened?”

He doesn’t skip a beat. “She’s living with me as of four hours ago.”

A rush runs through me. I’m so happy to hear that, and yet I’m very aware we can’t jump into this blind. On some level I’m still trying to process that I’m separated, or single, or whatever the word for it is because I certainly don’t know. And Aidan doesn’t know a fucking thing about relationships. Or does he?

“You told me in the coffee shop you got involved with the wrong woman. What did you mean?”

Again, he’s unbothered by the question. I keep thinking there are boundaries I need to respect, but Aidan is being open.

“She was a distraction,” he clarifies. “We had a very physical relationship.”

I smile brazenly. “Very tasteful use of wordage, Mr West.”

He grins, shaking his head. “There was nothing tasteful about that woman.”

“Why were you with her then?”

“Think of a flame, Ivy. What makes a flame grow bigger?”

I give him a questioning look. “Fuel?”

“That was Nina. At my worst, she fed my fire more fuel and loved what I turned into. She loved seeing my destruction, and I loved feeling myself burn.” He shakes his head, looking disturbed. “Not sure I make any sense with that.”

“You make perfect sense. Two people can be drawn to chaos.”

“She wasn’t just drawn to my chaos, Ivy, she…absorbed it. We were really nasty people.”

Wow. I watch him carefully. “I hope she’s out of your life now.”

He appears content. “That’s an understatement.”

Good.

“That’s what you have to do, Ivy,” he adds now. “You have to cut out the people who keep you from growing in life. You have to leave them behind forever.”

He’s referring to Derek, and I know he’s right.

I simply nod at him.

He begins packing away his papers, sorting them in folders. I take that as my cue to leave. I begin to stand.

“I’ll walk you back to your room,” he tells me quickly. “Just need to pile this up.”

As I wait, I look around the room again. Now that I’m taking another look, it’s sort of messy.

“This is the most lived-in space,” I comment. “You’re in here all the time, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

He comes up behind me. I feel the heat of him draw close, but he’s always just a breath away from touching me. I turn around to look up at him.

“Come,” he says, passing me before I can study his face.

He walks me to my room. The silence creeps in again. I look at him, waiting for him to meet my eye, but he doesn’t. He stops by my door. I twist it open and turn to him. I catch him staring at my lips for the quickest moment before looking away.

“Good night, Ivy,” he tells me softly.

He begins to walk away when I grab him by the arm. “Aidan…”

He stops and looks back at me, this time staring me in the eyes. I look at him in the darkness, searching for words. He’s not giving anything away. I want the cocky man. I want him to push my back against the wall, to run a hand through my hair and tell me the things he wants to do to me, but he’s not here right now.

I let go and smile weakly. “Good night, Aidan.”

I quickly disappear into my room and shut the door behind me. I stand still, listening to his footsteps trailing away. His door opens and closes, and the silence is back again.

Aidan

“You must take it easy,” Ruth says from the phone as I get ready for another shower. That’ll be twice I’ve showered tonight, but I need to think, I need to ask myself how far I’m willing to go with this girl.

I slip my shirt off and toss it on the counter. Then I stand by the sink, looking down at the phone I propped up.

“She makes me feel alive, Ruth,” I admit quietly. “I can’t describe it. I can’t…think without thinking about her.”

“Are you falling in love with her?” she asks, and I detect concern in her tone.

I shut my eyes, and even then I see Ivy in the darkness, looking back at me.

“Is it that?” I wonder. “Or is it obsession?”

“Obsession was what you felt for Nina. Are there similarities between the two?”

“Fuck no,” I say vehemently. “She is nothing like her.”

“She needs time.”

I nod, but there’s a fire in me, a fire that burns for her, and it may be stronger than my willpower. “I think she’s over that man.”

“She isn’t.”

My jaw tenses. “You think she