Jonny's Redemption (Gemini Group Book 7) Riley Edwards (ebook reader screen .TXT) 📖

“Too late?”

“Should’ve burned that house to ash and been a mother. Instead, I kept you locked in my misery. I failed you. I failed myself. I will regret what I’ve done to you until the day I die. I regret every mean, horrible thing I said to you. I regret the mean, horrible things I cannot remember saying to you but I know I said them. Erasing that house will not take back the things I’ve done. It will not give you back the childhood I ruined, or any of the days, months, years I stole from you. But today is the beginning. Today the physical reminder of what a horrible woman I became will go. And tomorrow I can begin to make amends. Days, months, years, for the rest of my life I will seek your forgiveness. I love you, son. You’re the only person I ever loved.”

Jesus fuck.

That wasn’t the first time his mother had apologized. The first time was the day after Bobby had been kidnapped when Anita was allowed phone privileges from rehab. That was a month ago and since then Anita called once a week. The conversations were short, they were strained, but each one she was sober. And each time she acknowledged the pain she’d caused the knot in Jonny’s gut lessened.

“Well, Ma, I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t burn it down. You know Chief Wilcox isn’t a fan of arson,” Jonny said in an attempt at levity.

“Yeah, well, he was less of a fan of Calvin so I don’t think he’d arrest me. But I don’t think the neighbors would’ve been pleased.”

That was another thing, Anita had not referred to Calvin by anything other than his name. Not “your father” not “my husband.” The man was Calvin.

“Right. Well, I’ll let you go, Ma, I just wanted to let you know work started.”

There was a beat of silence then in a slightly more confident tone she said, “I’d like it if someday when you’re ready, we could start making memories. A fresh start. I’d like to get to know my son. When…you’re ready…of course. No pressure. I mean…”

“Ma.”

“Yes, Jonny?”

“Bobby and I will be there next weekend. If you’re up to it we’ll stop by and see you.”

“Um…well…I’m in rehab.”

“And?”

“Well…what she already must think of me.”

Jonny was thinking about Bobby when he started to explain to his mother what Bobby thought about the situation so he smiled as he spoke.

“She loves me, Ma.”

“I’m glad.”

“No, you don’t get it, she loves me.”

“I’m happy you’ve found that.”

“No, Ma. She loves me. Loves all of me, everything that comes with me. She is loyal and protective and sometimes I swear I think she wakes up in the morning with the sole purpose of making my life better. So when I tell you she loves me, I mean she wants me happy, she wants you healthy, she wants a family. She wants to love you. I’m not telling you this to be a jerk, Ma. But I remember you before Doug came to live with us. You were a good mom. I remember times after he got there when you weren’t drinking you were a funny and sweet and good mom. That woman I remember is a woman you can’t help but love.”

“I want to be that woman,” Anita whispered.

Jonny’s eyes drifted closed and he let the velvet pain of that score through his heart.

“Good. Then we’ll see you next weekend.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah, Ma?”

“I love you.”

The phone went dead and the pain of those words so close on the heels of the others ripped through Jonny with such a force his torso jerked. His eyes flew open when another crash boomed around him as a large section of the house crumbled.

Jonny was no longer confused.

He also didn’t need to watch, so he folded into his truck and drove away.

Good riddance.

“It’s done?” Bobby asked, her tone incredulous.

They were sitting on the back deck and Jonny had just finished telling her about the house being demolished and his call with his mother. He’d also told her the State Police had finished their investigation into Jarrod Clifford and Dick Dillinger. Jonny had been cleared, though that had happened weeks ago. Baker was back at work on light duty. Candy Bull had recovered and laid her husband to rest, with Bobby and Jonny in attendance at the memorial service.

So all of that was done.

But that wasn’t what Bobby was asking.

“Yeah. Got the call when I got home. House is gone and the dumpsters have been hauled. All that’s left is the grading and that will be done tomorrow.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

Jonny's gaze went from the sun setting behind the woods to Bobby.

Damn, she was beautiful. So pretty it hurt to look at her. So gorgeous it was hard to believe she was his. So fierce. So sweet. So smart. She was more than a dream come true and one day she’d be his wife. One day she’d give him children and she’d love them—down to her soul—with the same profound adoration she gave him. Scratch that—she’d love their child more than she loved Jonny. That was the kind of mother she’d be; Roberta Layne would shower her babies with love and affection and they’d never doubt she loved them most in the world. And Jonny was down with that. He wanted the children they made to know they were wanted, they’d be protected at all costs. The children they made wouldn’t survive their childhoods. They’d thrive. They’d know peace and goodness.

“I needed to see it,” Jonny answered.

“I get that but I wish you would’ve called me and told me they were starting a day early. I wanted to be there with you.”

Loyal.

Protective.

That was his Bobby.

The old Jonny would’ve lied. It would’ve been an omission, a blow-off so he didn’t have to answer truthfully, maybe even changed the topic so he could hide. But he’d vowed not to do that anymore and besides, he owed