Harley Merlin 12 Bella Forrest (100 best novels of all time txt) 📖

a body, the pulsing gray matter of a brain, and the intangible whatever of a soul. I know you down to your bowel movements, much as I wish I could be anywhere else when those rumblings get busy. I snickered, feeling Raffe bristle in disgust.

“Kadar, seriously,” he complained, but I ignored him.

We share a past, from you crapping your diapers, wiping your snotty nose, and skinning your knees to the here and now—this present that we share. I paused. But we have a future, too. A future that I don’t mind sharing with you, even though we sometimes hate one another’s guts. And, for the record, when it comes to your bowel movements, I REALLY hate your guts.

“Can you leave my bodily functions out of this? It’s taking the positivity out of what you’re saying,” Raffe complained. Whiny little man-child that he was. My whiny little man-child.

Hey, I’m just trying to emphasize that I’m with you through the rough and smooth. We are two halves of a whole, like a brain split down the middle. And, you know what, I’m okay with that. I sighed begrudgingly. Besides, I doubt I’d have a chance with Santana on my own. She likes the two halves. She gets the sweet and the spice, wrapped up in one. At least, this way, she stays in my life. And so do you. I may be a whippersnapper in djinn terms, but I’m too old to learn new things, like living without a host.

“That was almost cute.” Raffe smiled, his body sparking with new motes of optimism.

Careful, I warned. Call me cute and I’ll have to get ugly.

“Inspiring, then,” he replied.

I can cope with that. I put my feelers toward his heart, which slowed to a steadier pace. And it’s not a total loss with Santana, either. She has a smart head on that fine, fine figure of hers. She isn’t worried about the future. She just wants us. At first, I thought that was mortal stupidity, but maybe she has other plans.

“Santana has other plans? What other way could there be with her and me?” Raffe switched back to avid wallower, which instantly riled me up. I hated him when he went all pathetic. It made us both look bad.

“Maybe you could ask me, mi amor, instead of pushing me away.” A voice cut through the air as a figure emerged from the darkness. The woman herself. Santana Catemaco, Mexican queen of my dreams. Damn, she looked good. Good enough to eat. Another reason things might not work out if I tried to steal Santana for myself. I hadn’t tasted human flesh in a long time, but the craving never truly went away. And she would taste delicious. One crazy moment of temptation, and she’d be barbeque. Raffe keeping me in check served us all better.

Raffe hung his head. “What other way can there be, mi ciela?”

“We could adopt. I’ve been thinking about it more lately, and it makes a lot of sense. There are so many children in this world without a family, and I could love them and give them a place to call home, with you,” she replied. “Who cares if they come from my friggin’ womb? I certainly don’t. They don’t need to look like us to be loved by us, Raffe. That’s why I’m not worried about our future. We can build a big family with kids who need our help.”

Raffe, stubborn as ever, shook his head. “You’d be happy with that? I don’t believe you. I’ve seen the photos of all your nieces and nephews, and the way you talk about your Mexican heritage. I don’t want to deny you your own children because of my curse. What if you change your mind one day? What if you feel unsatisfied? What if you resent me because I can’t give you what you want?”

Then you don’t know her at all, I whispered instinctively.

“Then maybe you don’t know me at all,” Santana echoed sadly. “I love you, Raffe. I don’t love imaginary children we don’t have. I want a family with you, you dope. And I don’t care how that happens, as long as we’re both alive and in love and together. Just because my children won’t be born in Mexico doesn’t mean I won’t share my history and heritage with them. And I’d hope you would share yours with them, too.”

“I just wish it didn’t have to be this way,” Raffe mumbled. “I feel so guilty, whenever we talk about the future. I don’t know if that will ever go away.”

“Raffe, listen to me.” She moved closer and grasped his face in her hands. I felt his heart lurch, filled with the usual warm fuzzies that she instilled in him. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you. I almost did, on that rooftop, and it nearly killed me. So, you can think again if you plan to end this relationship because of something I don’t care about, or if you think I’ll just let you go. I love you too much. I can’t be without you. Please, don’t make me.”

Raffe gazed into her eyes while I piggybacked on his vision. “I thought we could be free. I thought I could fix this.”

“We are free, mi amor, and if it’s not broken, it doesn’t need fixing.” Santana kissed him, sending shivers through me. The best kind. “Dios mio, I even love Kadar, in my own weird way. I’d miss him if he disappeared. He is a part of you—a big part—not some tumor that needs removing. I am happy to love both of you, until the end of our days.”

“But…” Raffe faltered.

“If you mention children again, I will kiss you until you shut up.” Santana smiled. “When we reach that point in our lives, we’ll find some kids out there who need us. I mean, look at Harley and Jacob. If they’d been adopted by the Smiths from the get-go, just think about how different their childhoods might’ve been.