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think it. To hope it. But I canā€™t help myself. Even if the odds are low, I think thereā€™s a small chance heā€™ll get down on bended knee the minute we stop singing, and the very thought makes every cell in my body electrify with giddiness.

When I arrive at the wing of the stage, I look around for a PA, or someone with a headset, to make sure the production staff knows where I am. These ā€œlive tapingā€ shows are an intense juggling act for the crew, since theyā€™re shot precisely as the show will air, with no editing or re-dos. So, given my upcoming performance, itā€™s critical everyone knows where to find me at all times.

As Iā€™m looking around for someone in a headset, I spot Nadine, the executive producer, standing with her back to me alongside Rhoda, the junior producer whoā€™s become a good friend. Given that Rhoda and Nadine are both wearing headsets, I head over to the duo, intending to tap one of them on the shoulder and wave, as if to say, ā€œHere I am.ā€ But when I get close enough to overhear the womenā€™s conversation, I stop short and listen in.

ā€œWho knows if Savage will do it?ā€ Nadine is saying as I come to a stop behind her. ā€œUnfortunately, his contract states he can decide, yes or no, if he wants to earn that bonus, right up to the last moment. So now, all we can do is wait and cross our fingers.ā€

ā€œIā€™m betting heā€™ll do it,ā€ Rhoda says confidently. ā€œAnd not for the bonusā€”but for real.ā€

Nadine snorts. ā€œI wouldnā€™t hold my breath on that, Rhoda.ā€

ā€œYou didnā€™t see him at Lailaā€™s birthday party. Heā€™s head over heels in love with her, Nadine, for real. Anyone could see it. But, hey, if his love for her doesnā€™t convince him to propose to her on national TV, then maybe a quarter-million bucks will tip the scales for him.ā€

ā€œTry a million bucks.ā€

ā€œWhat?ā€ Rhoda gasps out, as I clamp my hand over my mouth to keep my own gasp from becoming audible.

ā€œI made a secret side deal with Savage,ā€ Nadine says. ā€œBut donā€™t worry, Iā€™m not stupid enough to have agreed to paying him a million bucks out of pocket. He let me keep his full salary, two million, in exchange for me promising never to terminate Laila and to leave them alone to be ā€˜happyā€™ without any meddling. If he proposes tonight, like a good little boy, then heā€™ll get a million bucks of the money weā€™ve withheld from him.ā€

I clamp my palm over my mouth again, this time to keep myself from screaming.

ā€œDid you give him the ring?ā€ Rhoda says.

ā€œYeah, a few minutes ago,ā€ Nadine replies. ā€œI told him to put it in his pocket, so heā€™d have it, just in case. And Iā€™ll be damned, he took it. So who knows? Iā€™m hoping thatā€™s a good sign.ā€ Nadine scoffs. ā€œOr maybe heā€™s just fucking with me.ā€

ā€œNo. Iā€™d bet anything heā€™s going to give her that ring. A million bucks, a free ring, and the chance to propose to the woman he loves on national TV? What rational man wouldnā€™t leap at a deal like that?ā€

ā€œI think we both know Adrian Savage is anything but rational.ā€

Iā€™ve heard enough. Plus, now that the group song onstage is wrapping up, Iā€™m scared to death these two women will turn around and catch me crouching behind them in the dark. I turn on my heel and sprint away on my tiptoes, as Sunshine Vaughn announces a commercial break.

When I reach my dressing room, I shut the door behind me and lean against it, my eyes wide and my chest heaving. Thereā€™s so much to unpack here, my brain feels like itā€™s exploding. Out of every shocking thing Nadine just said, however, the thing thatā€™s rising to the top of the heap is the part where Nadine said Savage forfeited his entire salary in exchange for Nadineā€™s promise not to fire me. When the hell did that happen?

I pace circles in my dressing room, too freaked out to sit. Iā€™m insanely grateful Savage swooped in to protect me like that, but I wish he hadnā€™t. I already felt bad enough that he had to give up two million bucks to get me onto the show, in the first place. And now I find out he gave up two million more to keep me on the show?

All I can hope and pray is that Savage realizes his best bet is to get down on his knee after our performance is done, and fake-propose. Obviously, Iā€™d love to hear those amazing words out of Savageā€™s mouth one day, for real. And, selfishly, Iā€™d love to hear them tonight, even if itā€™s only for pretend, solely to have a beautiful, false, fairytale moment with Savage, however fleeting and fake. Laila, will you marry me? Just imagining those words coming out of Adrianā€™s mouth gives me goosebumps, even if itā€™s only for show. But, truly, the main thing here is that I want Savage to get himself paid.

I stride toward the exit of my dressing room, determination flooding me. Iā€™m going to hunt Savage down and tell him I know everything. Iā€™m going to demand he fake-propose to me in a few minutes to earn that bonus, and also tell him Iā€™ve decided to return every penny heā€™s paid me this season. Iā€™ve felt guilty about taking half Savageā€™s salary for a while now, and what I overheard from Nadine was the last straw. Itā€™s not like I donā€™t have the ability to make an incredible living on my own now. Thanks to my exposure on the show, Iā€™ve become a household name, which my agent, Daria, has already started leveraging for all sorts of new projects and ventures. Regardless, though, even if Iā€™d be penniless after returning Savageā€™s two million bucks, Iā€™d do it, anyway, simply to get this elephant off my chest, once and for all.

Before I get to the door of

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