The Amish Teacher's Dilemma and Healing Their Amish Hearts Patricia Davids (best self help books to read TXT) 📖

“It’s getting late. You go on up and get ready for bed. I’ll be up soon to read you a story,” Jesse told his son.

A glint of eagerness sparked in Sam’s eyes but he merely nodded and did as asked. When they were alone, Jesse reached for a clean dish towel and started drying the dishes.

“You’re gut with him,” Jesse said.

Becca sank her hands deep into the hot, sudsy water as she scrubbed a particularly stubborn fork. “It’s easy to be helpful with Sam. He’s such a sweet, innocent little boy.”

“I... I want to thank you for what you did tonight. I know it wasn’t much and he didn’t speak during dinner but just hearing his voice again was amazing,” Jesse said.

She nodded. “I know. I couldn’t believe it when he actually spoke. In all honesty, I didn’t expect him to do it so soon and it was all I could do not to jump up and yell. It took everything in me to remain calm and act natural.”

“Me too. He’s comfortable around you. It’s obvious you don’t make him nervous.” Jesse didn’t look at her as he dried a spoon and placed it in a drawer.

“Ja, I think you’re right. And that’s a gut thing,” she agreed.

“But I do. I make him too nervous to talk.”

Jesse stood perfectly still. He lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes filled with a bit of misery. Becca didn’t know what to say. She realized in that moment just how far apart Jesse and Sam really were. And the fact that Jesse knew it too made her feel a great deal of compassion for him. The house fire had taken more than just his wife and two daughters. In a way, it had stolen Sam from him too.

“I’m sorry, Jesse. I... I didn’t mean to do anything wrong or create a problem for you,” she said.

He shook his head. “Ne, it isn’t your fault, Becca. It’s mine.”

She went very still as he told her about the night he’d come home to find his house on fire. Sam had cried and kept telling him it was his fault.

“The day I buried my wife and dechder, I was filled with such grief.” He spoke in an aching whisper that caused goose bumps to cover her arms and neck. “I pushed Sam away. He tried to comfort me and I couldn’t stand to even look at him. I think he knew what I was feeling inside. He’d started the fire and I blamed him for killing my familye. Now, he suffers from nightmares. He doesn’t say anything but I know he relives the trauma of that night over and over again. We both do.”

Jesse braced his hands on the countertop and hung his head. Before she could stop herself, she reached out and touched his arm.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Jesse. So deeply sorry,” she said.

He lifted his head and she saw the anguish and sorrow in his dark eyes. For just a moment, he looked bereft. She’d seen that same look in Jakob’s eyes when she’d attended the funeral of his first wife after she’d died in childbirth. Nothing Becca could do or say could console him.

“That’s why he was late for school this morning. He’d had a bad nightmare and it took a long time for me to calm him down,” Jesse said.

Ah, so now she knew. He hadn’t been cruel to the boy. Sam had simply had a nightmare and been crying. Jesse had tried to comfort the boy. He wasn’t an abusive father. Not from what she could see. He was just a grieving father and husband who was trying to help his troubled son. And knowing this brought Becca a great deal of respect for Jesse as well as a ton of relief. The fact that he had confided in her softened her heart.

Jesse swallowed hard and took a deep breath before glancing out the window. “It’s dark already and you should be home where you’ll be safe. It’s time for you to go.”

He didn’t wait for her approval before he reached for her heavy, black shawl, scarf and warm traveling bonnet and handed them to her. He watched her silently as she put them on. Then, he walked her outside where he harnessed her horse to her buggy.

“I can see the lights of your farm late at night,” he said.

“Ja, Jakob will leave a kerosene lamp burning for me until I arrive home safely. If it gets too late, he’ll komm looking for me.”

“I figured as much. The roads are very icy. I’ll watch for the light. If it stays on, I’ll know you’re in trouble and will komm find you. If the light goes out, I’ll know you’ve arrived home safe.”

Since they didn’t have cell phones, this system would work. She let him take her hand as he helped her climb into her buggy. “I’ll turn off the light as soon as I arrive home.”

He nodded and, taking the leather lead lines into her gloved hands, she slapped them lightly on her horse’s rump. Even though it was only eight o’clock, it had been a long day and she was eager to get home. Because they got up at four in the morning, most Amish were in bed by this time. Perhaps she had stayed too long. She still had lesson plans to review for tomorrow. She would take the kerosene light to her room on the opposite side of her house, so Jesse wouldn’t be able to see it from his farm and get worried about her. No doubt she’d be up late preparing for school in the morning.

Within minutes, her horse had pulled onto the main county road. In the moonlight, she could see the shimmer of black ice on the asphalt. She drove very slowly and, as her horse settled into an even rhythm, she hoped they wouldn’t encounter any automotive vehicles before she