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tray of condiments.

‘Tara, I keep meaning to ask. Are you coming to lunch on Wednesday or are you too busy marathon training?’

Tara’s skin ran hot and cold at the mention of the marathon, reminding her of what she’d risked and what she’d lost.

‘Sorry, I meant to RSVP but things have been crazy. I’m no longer training but I’m working longer hours. Jon takes a ninety-minute break in the middle of the day and it’s easier if I’m at the store then.’

Rhianna’s hand touched her décolletage in exaggerated surprise. ‘That must be a shock to the system.’

Tara’s back teeth locked. ‘Everything about Parkinson’s is a shock. We’re having to rethink how we do everything.’

‘Are you having the kids tested?’ Kelly asked.

The coffee machine beeped and Tara passed the latte to Kelly. ‘Tested? What do you mean?’

‘You know, for Parkinson’s. Isn’t it genetic?’

‘Not always. They think it’s a combination of a genetic disposition and environmental factors.’

‘Still. I’d want to know,’ Kelly said.

‘Really?’ Tara’s patience unravelled fast. ‘How would it help? I’ve already got a husband who’s depressed and struggling with his body that’s constantly moving against his will. Imagine if he’d grown up knowing this would happen? He’d have been miserable for three decades. Or worse. I wouldn’t wish that on the kids. I want them to have a normal childhood.’

‘But that’s not really possible any more, is it,’ Rhianna said.

‘Of course it is!’ Tara pushed the milk-frother into the coffee machine with more force than necessary.

‘You just told us he needs a nap every day. How’s he going to keep up with the kids?’

‘You’re planning on having a nap this afternoon!’

Rhianna gave her a pitying look. ‘You know that’s not the same. I have a choice.’

Choice. Standing in her own kitchen with a houseful of people, loneliness cloaked and choked Tara. Was this her new life?

Every part of her ached to strap on her shoes and outrun it.

CHAPTER

25

Jade considered texting Corey that Helen was moving in, but as her name was on the lease and he didn’t contribute anything to the rent, she decided against it.

And he hasn’t told you where the hell he is!

Constable Fiora had dropped in a couple of times, hoping to catch her out in a lie and find Corey on the couch. He was just as disappointed as Jade was by Corey’s absence.

This wasn’t the first time Corey had disappeared without a word. It had happened when she’d told him she was pregnant, and again when Milo was six weeks old, screaming with hunger and feeding constantly. She’d been exhausted and strung out.

‘Give him a bottle to shut him up,’ Corey had said, not looking up from Tour of Duty.

Since Milo’s birth, Corey had either been out with Macca working or drinking—mostly drinking—or home on the couch, gaming and complaining about the ‘shit state of the place’. One afternoon, during a particularly difficult two days when Jade hadn’t found time to even take a shower, could smell her own stink and there were no clean dishes in the cupboards, she’d completely lost it.

‘Stop playing that fucking game and help me!’ she’d screamed, snatching the controller out of his hands.

He’d jumped to his feet, grabbed her and shaken her until the room spun. ‘You’re useless. And stupid. You’re a useless stupid bitch who can’t get her kid to shut the fuck up.’

He’d let her go then and she’d slid down the wall, her legs quaking and her heart racing. Corey had slammed out of the house, the walls vibrating with his fury.

She didn’t know how long she’d sat sobbing with her face buried in her knees, but at some point she’d realised the only sounds in the house were her pathetic sniffles. Milo had finally and blessedly fallen into an exhausted sleep.

She’d hauled herself to her feet, cleaned herself and the house, and made Corey his favourite spaghetti bolognaise with garlic bread. And waited.

She waited three weeks and five days. Corey didn’t reply to texts or calls. Macca told her, ‘I don’t know where he is, but if I was him, I wouldn’t want to be with a clingy slut.’

Three times she’d picked up the phone to call her mother and three times she’d stopped herself. Why give Charlene a reason to tell her she’d got what she deserved? Corey’s silent absence was clear evidence Jade had brought this on herself. She shouldn’t have screamed at him. She should have known that adjusting to parenthood was harder for him than it was for her—men didn’t feel a baby kicking inside them for months and bond before birth like women did. And Corey had never liked being tied down and a baby lashed you tighter than a truckie’s hitch. She was lucky he’d hung around this long wanting to be part of Milo’s life. Part of her life.

He’d been doing his best and she’d selfishly driven him away and denied Milo the chance to get to know his father. Just like her mother had driven away her father with her constant bitching, and every bloke since. Corey was right. Jade really was stupid.

So when he’d strolled through the door twenty-seven days after he’d left, greeting her as if he’d just nicked down the shops for some ciggies, she’d known this was her last chance. Milo deserved a father and she wouldn’t be the reason he didn’t know Corey. She’d do everything in her power to protect her family and that meant making home a place where Corey wanted to spend time. It meant making no demands on him and giving him whatever he wanted.

Jade had done all that and Corey had left her again. Only this time, she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong.

You weren’t home for him. You were at the garden.

Why was she expected to stay at home just in case he turned up?

Because he’s working.

But the once loud and defending voice wasn’t as convincing, especially as Jade didn’t see any of his money. This was why she’d struck the deal with Helen.

The

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