Doctor Thorne Anthony Trollope (best english books to read for beginners txt) 📖

Suchlike greetings, together with a dead cat which was flung at him from the crowd, and which he dexterously parried with his stick, were the answers which he received to this exordium.

“Yes,” said he, quite undismayed by this little missile which had so nearly reached him: “that’s me. And look here; this brown, dirty-looking broad streak here is intended for a railway; and that thing in my hand⁠—not the right hand; I’ll come to that presently⁠—”

“How about the brandy, Roger?”

“I’ll come to that presently. I’ll tell you about the brandy in good time. But that thing in my left hand is a spade. Now, I never handled a spade, and never could; but, boys, I handled a chisel and mallet; and many a hundred block of stone has come out smooth from under that hand;” and Sir Roger lifted up his great broad palm wide open.

“So you did, Roger, and well we minds it.”

“The meaning, however, of that spade is to show that I made the railway. Now I’m very much obliged to those gentlemen over at the White Horse for putting up this picture of me. It’s a true picture, and it tells you who I am. I did make that railway. I have made thousands of miles of railway; I am making thousands of miles of railways⁠—some in Europe, some in Asia, some in America. It’s a true picture,” and he poked his stick through it and held it up to the crowd. “A true picture: but for that spade and that railway, I shouldn’t be now here asking your votes; and, when next February comes, I shouldn’t be sitting in Westminster to represent you, as, by God’s grace, I certainly will do. That tells you who I am. But now, will you tell me who Mr. Moffat is?”

“How about the brandy, Roger?”

“Oh, yes, the brandy! I was forgetting that and the little speech that is coming out of my mouth⁠—a deal shorter speech, and a better one than what I am making now. Here, in the right hand you see a brandy bottle. Well, boys, I’m not a bit ashamed of that; as long as a man does his work⁠—and the spade shows that⁠—it’s only fair he should have something to comfort him. I’m always able to work, and few men work much harder. I’m always able to work, and no man has a right to expect more of me. I never expect more than that from those who work for me.”

“No more you don’t, Roger: a little drop’s very good, ain’t it, Roger? Keeps the cold from the stomach, eh, Roger?”

“Then as to this speech, ‘Come, Jack, let’s have a drop of some’at short.’ Why, that’s a good speech too. When I do drink I like to share with a friend; and I don’t care how humble that friend is.”

“Hurrah! more power. That’s true too, Roger; may you never be without a drop to wet your whistle.”

“They say I’m the last new baronet. Well, I ain’t ashamed of that; not a bit. When will Mr. Moffat get himself made a baronet? No man can truly say I’m too proud of it. I have never stuck myself up; no, nor stuck my wife up either: but I don’t see much to be ashamed of because the bigwigs chose to make a baronet of me.”

“Nor, no more thee h’ant, Roger. We’d all be barrownites if so be we knew the way.”

“But now, having polished off this bit of picture, let me ask you who Mr. Moffat is? There are pictures enough about him, too; though Heaven knows where they all come from. I think Sir Edwin Landseer must have done this one of the goose; it is so deadly natural. Look at it; there he is. Upon my word, whoever did that ought to make his fortune at some of these exhibitions. Here he is again, with a big pair of scissors. He calls himself ‘England’s honour;’ what the deuce England’s honour has to do with tailoring, I can’t tell you: perhaps Mr. Moffat can. But mind you, my friends, I don’t say anything against tailoring: some of you are tailors, I dare say.”

“Yes, we be,” said a little squeaking voice from out of the crowd.

“And a good trade it is. When I first knew Barchester there were tailors here could lick any stonemason in the trade; I say nothing against tailors. But it isn’t enough for a man to be a tailor unless he’s something else along with it. You’re not so fond of tailors that you’ll send one up to Parliament merely because he is a tailor.”

“We won’t have no tailors. No; nor yet no cabbaging. Take a go of brandy, Roger; you’re blown.”

“No, I’m not blown yet. I’ve a deal more to say about Mr. Moffat before I shall be blown. What has he done to entitle him to come here before you and ask you to send him to Parliament? Why; he isn’t even a tailor. I wish he were. There’s always some good in a fellow who knows how to earn his own bread. But he isn’t a tailor; he can’t even put a stitch in towards mending England’s honour. His father was a tailor; not a Barchester tailor, mind you, so as to give him any claim on your affections; but a London tailor. Now the question is, do you want to send the son of a London tailor up to Parliament to represent you?”

“No, we don’t; nor yet we won’t either.”

“I rather think not. You’ve had him once, and what has he done for you? Has he said much for you in the House of Commons? Why, he’s so dumb a dog that he can’t bark even for a bone. I’m told it’s quite painful to hear him fumbling and mumbling and trying to get up a speech there over at the White Horse. He doesn’t belong to the city; he hasn’t done anything for the city; and he hasn’t the power to do anything for