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down on the picnic table as he asked.

ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€ I asked, but he completely ignored me, cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling, ā€œFree donuts as an apology for the hold-up! Itā€™s going to be another few minutes. I hope youā€™ll wait around, but if not, be sure to come visit us another night.ā€

I hooked my hand around his elbow and yanked him away from the window. ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€

ā€œI need to know,ā€ he said. ā€œI need to know if you really felt nothing when you walked in and found Tanja all over me.ā€

Tanja all over him? Heā€™d literally had his hands on her breasts.

What I felt was far from nothing. My heartā€”my stupid, fragile heart felt like it had cracked in two at the sight. ā€œIt looked like a pretty even participation if you ask me.ā€

He shook his head. ā€œHow can you say that? Isnā€™t it obvious how head over heels in love with you I am? I donā€™t even like Tanja. Sheā€™s selfish and a terrible friend.ā€

ā€œDonā€™t talk about her like that. You donā€™t even know her.ā€

His palms flew to his forehead and he rubbed across his face. ā€œThatā€™s what youā€™re choosing to focus on when I say I love you? I tell you that the woman whoā€™s supposed to be your best friend tried to kiss me, when she knows how close we are, and youā€™re seriously going to stand there and defend her?ā€

My brain was muddy. Like I was swimming beneath the surface of a murky lake, trying to open my eyes underwater. ā€œThereā€™s nothing to defend. Youā€™re both free to fuck whomever you want.ā€

His gaze hardened into steel, and for the first time ever, I saw pure, undiluted anger in his eyes. Directed at me. ā€œThatā€™s bullshit. I know you know thatā€™s bullshit. I wouldnā€™t want to talk to Tanja for more than a minute any given day, let alone fuck her.ā€

ā€œLuckily thereā€™s no talking in that.ā€ I bit my cheek, trying to muster up anger that mirrored his. I fell short, though. Instead, all I felt was the pinch of loneliness. ā€œAnd whatever happensā€”or doesnā€™t happenā€”between you and any woman is none of my business. Because weā€™re not involved.ā€

ā€œBut we are involved! Even if the public ā€˜relationshipā€™ we have is bullshit and a publicity stunt, we were involved the moment you kissed me in your foyer months ago.ā€ Even though what he said was totally true, his tone and the way he put finger quotes around the word relationship hurt like a punch to the gut. ā€œPretending weā€™re not involved doesnā€™t do jack shit to negate the truth in that. And Iā€™m fucking sick of pretending with you. Iā€™m sick of pretending to be your boyfriend when cameras are on or people are watching, only to pretend Iā€™m not madly in love with you behind the scenes when itā€™s just the two of us.ā€

ā€œCanā€™t you see thereā€™s too much on the line! Youā€™re my best friend, and weā€™re in business together, and I would ruin you. I would ruin us! Everything we have, everything weā€™ve built, I would find a way to fuck it up. I donā€™t think I could survive thatā€¦ I need you.ā€ My voice cracked, but I couldnā€™t cry in front of him. The moment I did, it would all be over. He took a step closer, reaching out for me, and I quickly countered the movement, stepping back so fast that my spine slammed into the wall behind me. I couldnā€™t let him come any closer. Because heā€™d want to hold meā€¦ and Iā€™d let him. It would feel so damn good to be loved by Liam. Which only meant it would destroy me to be dumped by Liam.

ā€œYou could never ruin me, Chloe.ā€ A moment of understanding swept his face. ā€œBut I guess thatā€™s the big difference between us,ā€ he said. ā€œI love you. I want to work with you. I want to be with you.ā€ He took a step back, his broad chest thick and clenched along with his fists at his sides. ā€œIf this ends, Iā€™ll be broken-hearted and Iā€™ll miss you. But I donā€™t need you. Thereā€™s a big difference.ā€ He bent, retrieving his messenger bag from the rack beside the door before crossing to stand in front of me once more. ā€œI love you, but I canā€™t keep doing this. Itā€™s killing me. I need to know if you really love meā€¦ or if you just love having a crutch.ā€

His hands fell gently to my shoulders and I swayed into his body, succumbing to his embrace. He pressed a final, soft kiss to my forehead before turning and walking out.

36 Chloe

I agonized for hours over whether or not I should show up at 4:00 a.m. to Beefcakes to help Liam bake. It was technically my morning off, but it wasnā€™t like I was able to sleep anyway. Iā€™d basically sat in bed, staring at my ceiling, wondering what the hell do I do now?

I made it to 7:45 before I was standing out in front of Beefcakes, my feet frozen solid to the ground. There was no line outside, thank God.

It took another five minutes of standing there until I finally launched myself through the door.

Only, it wasnā€™t Liam behind the counterā€”it was Finn. Even though Finn wasnā€™t supposed to be working today. It was Liamā€™s day to bake and open all by himself.

ā€œIs Liam okay?ā€ I blurted the question without thinking. My cheeks heated and I took a quick glance around the cafĆ©. Only one customer stood in the corner and Finn quickly handed her a white paper bag and a coffee cup.

ā€œThere you go,ā€ he said with a smile. ā€œHave a beefy day!ā€

I scrunched my nose. God, I hoped that didnā€™t stick. But I had a lot more to worry about than terrible catchphrases. Once she was gone, I tried again. ā€œIs heā€”ā€

ā€œHeā€™s fine,ā€ Finn interrupted.

Relief softened my shoulders, but was quickly replaced

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