Myth 18 - MythChief Asprin, Robert (urban books to read TXT) 📖

Myself. I had caused the breach in the friendship.

I knew in spite of the hurt it had caused that it was necessary to withdraw and learn about myself and my capabilitiesbut I could see how the others, especially Aahz, had taken it as rejection. I vowed it would be differ-​ent from now on. I would make this job, and all the other jobs in the future, work for us all.

“You will never defeat me, Fanmat!” “I'll take you to pieces, Matfany!”

I retreated across the gallery. Aahz lunged at me. I stooped and swung my stick low. Aahz jumped over it, and made a cut for my head. I narrowly missed getting brained, and leaped up on the rail. Our “blades” clacked together. I did some fancy footwork, dancing along the narrow band of metal as Aahz peppered my feet with blows.

“Come back here, you coward!” he yelled. “Fanmat! Fanmat! Fanmat!”

I recognized the voice who started the chanting as be-​longing to Gus the Gargoyle, but he wasn't chanting alone for long. The mob joined in, bellowing their approval. We had made them believe in our hero.

The guards watched our interplay with approval. A cou-​ple of them even seemed to follow our moves with their bodies. The princess, who had long ago forgotten that this was not a real fight, was pressed against the side of the bal-​cony, looking terrified.

“All right, kid,” Aahz whispered, “time for the big fin-​ish!”

I jumped down, and the two of us closed, our “swords” held above our heads. We turned around and around, him pushing me or me pushing him. The onlookers shouted and moaned or booed, depending on who looked like he was winning. Once I had gotten over my outburst, it was kind of fun.

With a seeming burst of strength, I threw “Fanmat” sprawling backward. I grabbed Hermalaya around the neck, dragged her to me, and put the point of my sword to her throat.

“Her life is forfeit. I will carry out sentence here and now!” “.Never, you evil prime minister!”

Aahz marched toward me, slashing the air with his sword. I cowered backward with my prisoner. Aahz ad-​vanced. His blade came up from below and deftly knocked my stick flying end over end into the audience. He grabbed Hermalaya by the hand and swung her out of my arms. He set her on the other side of the window, away from the guards.

“Stay there, babe,” he said. He raised his sword and backed me toward the edge of the balcony. “You're done for, buddy.”

It was my turn to strike a pose.

“I did it all for my kingdom!” I declared.

“I'm sure that'll be a great comfort to your next of kin,” he leered.

He swung at me. I took the blow full in the chest, and remembered to create the illusion of gallons of blood spurt-​ing out of the wound. I clutched my chest. I wavered back and forth on the rail.

Then, I fell.

The crowd gasped.

Dropping any distance is no problem for a magician. I was never in any danger as I plummeted toward the court-​yard. There were plenty of guards waiting to surround my body. I just figured I would lie there playing dead while Aahz proclaimed his love for the princess, who was being restored to her rightful place on the throne of Foxe-​Swampburg. The guards would cover my face with a cloak and carry me inside, as we had arranged in our script.

But instead of the guards, a circle of faces wearing black headcloths and face masks leered down at me. The snick! of Cake servers being drawn was a chilling sound.

“You evil man! We are going to teach you what it means to attempt the life of a Cake Master!” Ninja hissed at me.

“No, wait!” I protested, holding up my hands. “I'm her friend!” “Hiayah!” screamed Ninja. “Hiayah!” yelled the other Cake Masters. “Kid? Kid? Skeeve? Can you hear me? Open your eyes.” Aahz's voice was full of concern.

I opened my eyes. The light hurt for a minute, but it re-​ceded to a single oil lamp burning on the table beside me. It lit up Aahz's worried face. I grinned weakly at him. He thumped me on the chest. He grinned back, showing his gleaming mouthful of fangs.

“Good for you, kid,” he said. “Glad to see you back among the living.”

Practically everybody I knew was peering down at me. I tried to sit up, but my chest felt like a thousand Centaurs had galloped across it. I groaned.

“What happened?” I asked.

Aahz poked a finger toward Ninja and her friends, now unmasked. The guards held them tightly. Pookie, Aahz's cousin, held a weird-​looking wand on them. They looked terrified.

“You have one crazy fan club,” Pookie said. “Why didn't you just tell me you had found some more people who wanted to kill you?”

“Are you all right, Mister Skeeve?” Princess Hermalaya asked. She and Matfany were wrapped in each other's arms. “I heard all that screaming? And there were all these people in black down there just slicing you into little rib-​bons. I sicced my guards on them, but they cut them up, too? My wizard had to lean over the rail and zap every-​body good.”

I felt my head. It was still attached, but there were thick bandages wrapped around it. Once I had noticed those, I saw the ones strapped around my arms and hands, too.

“What do you want done to them?” Aahz asked, his eyes glowing fiercely. “Name it, Skeeve. Anything from a good