Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus Kathleen Bogle (general ebook reader .txt) 📖

12. The students that made positive comments about virginity seemed to fit what Carpenter (2005) refers to as the “gifters” (i.e., people that perceive virginity loss as giving a gift of oneself). See Sprecher and Regan (1996) for more on how college students perceive virginity.

13. This is consistent with Carpenter’s (2005) analysis of the meaning many men assign to virginity loss (i.e., that virginity is a stigma they wanted to “get rid of”).

14. Glenn and Marquardt 2001.

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15. See the American College Health Association’s National College Health Assessment (ACHA-NCHA) sexual health data from spring 2003 to fall 2005.

16. Carpenter 2005.

17. Paul, McManus, and Hayes 2000.

18. Although the college men I spoke with also believed that their classmates were more sexually active than they themselves were, women were more likely to quantify the difference between themselves and their female counterparts in terms of a different average number of partners.

19. See Scholly et al. (2005) for a full discussion of the comparison between misperceptions of alcohol use and misperceptions of sexual behavior on the college campus.

20. See Lambert et al. (2003) for a discussion of how the concept of “plu-ralistic ignorance” can shed light on how college students feel pressure to conform to their perceived norms of the hookup culture.

21. This finding is consistent with what Moffatt (1989) found among undergraduates at Rutgers University in the 1970s and 1980s. See Carpenter (2005) for a detailed discussion on how virginity loss is viewed by some as a stigma.

22. The encounter Stephen discusses could be interpreted as rape given that the woman was too intoxicated to give “meaningful consent.” Unfortunately, most of such cases are not reported or prosecuted (Bergen 1998). See Sanday (2007) for a discussion of the connection between fraternities and rape on the college campus.

23. Moffatt also found in his ethnographic study that undergraduate students at Rutgers University were unclear on what other students were doing sexually. “They had their guesses, but they only knew for certain about themselves and perhaps about their closest friends” (1989, 186).

24. Similarly, Holland and Eisenhart found in their study of college women in the late 1970s and early 1980s that “women appeared not to agree on the amount and kind of sexual intimacy appropriate for different stages of a romantic relationship” (1990, 244).

25. Very few students in my sample suggested that one should have to wait for marriage or engagement to have sexual intercourse.

26. Glenn and Marquardt (2001) also found that many college women say that what others do sexually is none of their concern. In the quantitative portion of their study, 87 percent of their respondents agreed with the statement that “I should not judge anyone’s sexual conduct except my own.” 27. See Modell (1989) for the historical antecedents of the ethic of individual choice among youth in the United States. See Arnett (1998) for how inde-pendent decision making factors into the transition to adulthood among contemporary youth.

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NOTES TO CHAPTER 6

1. Cultural expectations for sexual behavior began to change in the 1960s as other changes swept the nation. Among these changes were the second wave of feminism, the advent of the birth control pill, and the growth of the youth culture (D’Emilio and Freedman 1988). See Risman and Schwartz (2002) for a discussion of how the sexual revolution has affected teen sexual behavior and relationships.

2. A Web site even sold “Team Aniston” T-shirts so that American women could show their support for the jilted, good-girl wife.

3. The sexual double standard refers to the idea that society has different guidelines for men and women when it comes to what is permissible sexual behavior (D’Emilio and Freedman 1988; Reiss 1997; Rubin 1990). The rules for men’s sexual behavior have remained the same throughout the twentieth and the beginning of the twenty-first century. That is, men are free to have “sexual relations,” including sexual intercourse, prior to marriage. Moreover, single men are more or less entitled to engage in heterosexual activity whenever they have the opportunity to do so. For women, the rules are different. Historically, women were expected to remain “chaste” until they married. Only married women were supposed to engage in sexual intercourse. Single women who flouted this rule were considered promiscuous (Rubin 1990; Willis 1992). The societal standard for female sexual behavior meant that women were believed to be either “good” girls or “bad” girls. Thus, in theory men were permitted to have sexual intercourse prior to marriage with “bad” girls while “good” or

“respectable” girls waited until they were married to have sex (Rubin 1990).

See Hynie et al. (1997) for a summary of some of the contemporary debates among scholars regarding the sexual double standard.

4. The students I spoke with did not appear to go on traditional dates in high school; however, many of them did have an exclusive relationship for part of their high school years. See Schneider and Stevenson (1999) for a complete description of the lives of America’s teenagers.

5. Recall from chapter 3 that a “random” hookup refers to a sexual encounter between two partners who do not know each other well (or at all) prior to the evening of the hookup.

6. One male interviewee did indicate that he was interested in a relationship but was having difficulty finding one. However, this interviewee mentioned that he is very shy and does not feel comfortable meeting new people.

Thus, his struggles in finding a relationship seemed to have more to do with his personality traits than the overall situation of men on campus.

7. Komter 1989.

8. The interest some women had in finding a potential marriage partner during college is consistent with Glenn and Marquardt’s (2001) finding that 204

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while many women are “hooking up and hanging out,” they are simultaneously “hoping to find Mr. Right.” Specifically, Glenn and Marquardt found that 63 percent of college women would like to