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agent. My timecosts something, you know, and there are the phone calls to cover,stationary, insurance etcetera. It all mounts up.’

‘Oh, right.’ Carlapouted fearsomely.

‘Look, if you want togo it alone I can give you the name of a charity. They’d put you incontact with parents and you can negotiate for yourself.’

‘No, no.’ Carlasubmitted to her fate with a scowl. She assumed Gerald would putthe word out and no one in the surrogacy business would deal withher. She was stuffed – the story of her life.‘You did tell me toexpect less over the phone, I suppose.’ She sighed. ‘So, when do Istart?’

‘Will today do?’

‘Might I get more if Iwaited a bit?’

‘This is not a lightundertaking, Carla. Yes, we could wait until a wealthier couplecame along. But I can’t say when that might be. What I would say is– gather ye your rosebuds while ye may.’

‘Okay, okay, I’vealready said I’ll do it.’

‘Good. We willthen.’

‘It’s just that youshould have given me a more realistic figure on Cyprus.’

‘Oh, I realise that.But you know how it is when you’re on holiday, you get carriedaway.’

Carla felt a tighteningin the pit of her stomach. ‘Anyway, I have a business to run. SoI’ll sign up now, shall I?’

‘Carla,’ Gerald smiled,‘there’s so much more to surrogacy and child bearing than signing aform. Yes, there is a form to sign, but that’s not nearly soimportant at this stage as a complete physical examination. I’dlike to do that now, just to keep the process moving along.’

‘I don’t think – ’

Gerald stood up andbegan pulling rubber gloves on. Carla fell silent, whileparadoxically letting her mouth drop open. For his part, Geraldkept talking, almost as if the two of them were still chatting awayon a day-to-day level. Except now, Carla was no longer in theconversation, as such, because Gerald was doing no more thandescribing what was happening as it happened.

‘We are checking yourweight in the first instance. Here are the scales and now you steponto them. Hm, a trifle overweight – ’

Carla interjected awhinge. ‘Well, we both know who’s to blame for that.’

Gerald stoppeddescribing what was happening as it happened. ‘Who is to blame,Carla?’

‘The Government, ofcourse.’

‘TheGovernment?’

‘That’s right. They’retaxing me out of existence. I don’t drink or smoke and the only wayI can tackle the stress is to eat.’

‘That reminds me,’Gerald said, after a moment. ‘There’ll be a diet I’d like you tofollow. I’ll get the sheets printed up before you go.’

‘These diets don’twork. I’ve tried them before,’ Carla said with disdain.

‘No, this isn’t aboutlosing weight, this diet is to improve the health of the child. Andyours, of course. Nothing strange. Plenty of fresh fruit, nuts andpulses. And no pills. Just a cod liver oil capsule every Saturdaynight.’ He chuckled as he said this. ‘Just the one, mind.’

Carla chuckled too,thinking, You know where you can stick your cod liver oilcapsule, don’t you?

Five: Complaining for Two

Six months laterRomance was taking a delivery of potting compost.

The compost came everyyear about now and signified that summer had reached its apogee.After compost-day, the nights started drawing in again. Carlawatched as the van driver and his mate made a neat pile of bags inthe middle of the shop. When they had finished, she signed thedelivery note and they left.

In ways such as theseCarla marked the progress of the seasons. And how monotonous theroutine had become! The years accumulating like vacant lots in adecaying city.

Oh, but for thisyear, at least, midsummer was going to be a little bitdifferent.

For a start, she wasexpecting somebody else’s baby and Gerald, the doctor, had said shemust be careful about lifting heavy things. That meant Gwynne wouldhave to carry the compost bags for once.

As soon as she had seenthe van men off she went up to his room, where he was sprawled onhis bed.

‘I’m pregnant and I’mnot allowed to lift bags of compost, and Kitty’s got a strain, socome and shift them out the shop now. Otherwise the customers willgo flying over them.’

Gwynne stared up at herin blank amazement. Carla smiled back. Only dropping a brick on hishead could have brought her more satisfaction. Not that Gwynne wasthe sort to start complaining straight away, even when a brick wasdropped on his head. For now, he just-about murmured, ‘Okay.’

Somewhat later, though,having lugged the bags of compost out back and finding that he waslate for work, he let off what might be interpreted as anexpression of righteous disapproval about the fact that Carla waspregnant all of a sudden.

‘Don’t expect me tolook after it.’

But no, he wasn’tgiving vent to righteous disapproval at all. Carla knew him betterthan that. Gwynne simply meant what he said – he wasn’t going tolook after it.

As he turned away andskulked away down the hall, Carla laughed out loud at hisretreating back. Little did the sucker know that she wasn’t goingto have to look after it either!

All in all, shecouldn’t care less what Gwynne thought. But the opinion hercustomers was another matter.

Her main anxiety tillrecently had been about what her customers might say when theynoticed she was pregnant. See, there was a chance they would puther on the spot with a hideously awkward question. Or so it hadseemed for a few weeks of fretful tossing and turning by night.However, her morbid fears had faded away as her bump became visibleand yet was never remarked on. She came to understand that whileher customers might ask her how much a Busy Lizzie cost, they werenever going to put themselves out so far as to enquire about thebun in her oven. In the great scheme of things, the bun in Carla’soven was always going to be a piddling irrelevance compared totheir Busy Lizzie.

Sublimeindifference – for that she could count on her customers 200per cent. There was a good chance they wouldn’t even spot thedifference between her and the temp she would hire when she neededto take a week off work for the birth.

Having to hire a temp –now that was something worth Carla’s time and effort to fret over.It was yet another of those extra expenses she hadn’t seen cominguntil it was too

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