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car and the girls burst into laughter. “That dress was hideous!” says Eva.

“I thought her mum was going to explode,” says Gia.

“Fuckin’ crazy women. This is what weddings do to people,” I mutter.

“Oh yeah?” asks Eva. “Speaking from experience?”

“You telling me she wasn’t crazy?” I ask and Eva laughs again. “You get a lot of work from the Travellers?” They don’t have the best reputation amongst society, but I’ve known a few in my time from the cage fighting scene and they were all good men.

“I get loads of work from them. I’ve never had a problem with any of them and now my name’s out there, I get their friends and friends of friends and other family members. Vinn isn’t too keen. He gets worried they’ll cause me trouble.” I snigger to myself because Vinn knows full well they won’t. The Romano name is enough to scare most people.

Hannah places a plate of food down in front of me. “Thanks for coming,” she says.

“You know I can’t resist your homemade curry,” I mutter.

“I thought we could talk,” she says, taking a seat opposite me at the table.

“Where’s Alice?”

“Work. She should be home in an hour or so.”

I begin to shovel food into my mouth. I dropped Eva and Gia safely home at the club and Hannah texted me to say she was making curry for dinner if I wanted to join her. I’m a sucker for good food. “You thought you could sweet talk me with Alice out the way?” I ask.

“Not exactly, but I know she sometimes rubs you the wrong way and I wanted an adult conversation. You two somehow turn things into a shit show of name calling and jealous outbursts,” says Hannah.

“She’s got my family, I’m not supposed to like her,” I say, tearing some homemade naan bread.

“Blu,” says Hannah with a sigh. “We are so over all that, we’ve moved past it. You come for dinner at least three times a week. You watch television with Alice while I wash the dishes. Don’t pretend you hate her because I know you don’t.” She’s right. Despite wanting to hate Alice, I can’t. She’s too nice and she makes my girls so happy, which is more than I ever did.

“How does she feel about all this baby talk?” I ask.

“She wants it to happen just as much as I do,” says Hannah. She heads for the fridge and pulls out a beer, placing it in front of me.

I eye her suspiciously. “You planning on getting me drunk and taking advantage?”

She smirks. “I know what I’m asking is huge. If you want to say no, that's fine. I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all. I asked you first because I wasn’t sure how you’d feel if Molly had a sibling from another man.” Just her saying those words fills me with rage.

I take a deep breath. “I’ll do it,” I say and her eyes widen. “If it makes you happy.”

“Are you serious?” she gasps and I nod. “Blu, you have no idea what this means to me, to us,” she says, moving towards me and throwing her arms around my neck. “Thank you so much.” She kisses my cheek and I close my eyes, savouring the moment.

“Just one question,” I say when she’s back in her seat. “How’s it all work? Won’t Alice get jealous if we, yah know . . .”

Hannah laughs. “Oh god, Blu, you didn’t agree to it because you thought we’d have sex, did you? It’ll all be done correctly, at a clinic.”

“What?” I ask. “Why would you pay a doc to do that shit when I can do it for free?”

“Because it doesn’t work like that. We just want your sperm.”

“I think that's stupid. We did it before, we’re all adults. Alice can join if she wants. We could end up with two for one on the kid front,” I say with a grin.

“Jeez, you’re so gross,” she says, scowling playfully. “No wonder I got rid of your ass.”

After dinner, I watch television with Molly and then take her up to bed and read her a bedtime story. When I get back downstairs, Alice is home. She smiles wide and wraps me in a hug. “Thank you,” she whispers. I pat her on the back awkwardly and she laughs.

I take deep breaths, letting the cool London air burn my lungs. I hate the tight feeling in my chest and the way just the sound of a damn firework can send me back into Hell. I close my eyes and images of bodies fill my mind. It’s too late to pull myself out of it now, so I lean my head back against the wall and clench my fists. The smell of engine oil and blood fills my nose, tinging my taste buds with that distinct metallic blood taste. I feel like my skin’s coated in fuckin’ dust—so much bastard dust that it chokes me.

“Blu,” comes a voice from far away. It’s a female voice and I can’t work out why she’s here in this hell when I’m surrounded by body parts. “Blu, are you okay?” she shouts. An image of Gia forces its way into my mind. She’s floating before me with a smile so big, it lights up the damn place, and then just like that, the bodies disappear, the dust that was clinging to my skin seconds ago; has gone, and I can smell coconut. Gia’s shampoo. I open my eyes and suck in another deep breath as she comes into focus. She’s a good foot away from me, but she’s crouched down to eye level and staring at me with concern on her face. “Are you okay?” she asks. I stare at her and my body begins to relax. “I came out here and saw you sitting on the floor like that, breathing all fast and looking panicked.”

I glance around the balcony. The door to my room is open and the curtain

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