Reunion Beach Elin Hilderbrand (best selling autobiographies .TXT) 📖

Jocasta leans toward Nellie Bee to say in a cloying tone, “Now, Nellie Bee. You know how the young girls watch their figures.”

“No, but I know how my husband watches yours,” Nellie Bee says tartly. Red-faced, Charlie chokes on a mouthful of cake and coughs into his napkin, and Michael lets out another guffaw. Seeing the goofy look on his face, it dawns on me that he’s drunk as a skunk.

Missy grabs the carafe of coffee and says pointedly to Michael, “You haven’t had your coffee yet, darling.”

Michael grins at her. “Don’t want coffee. I’m having another drink instead.” Seeing his wineglass gone, he calls out to the sous chef, “Hey! Bring me another glass, my good man.”

“I’ve got a really nice dessert wine,” Bram offers, and I realize he’s unaware of how much his son—and everyone else—has already consumed.

“Hot damn!” Michael cries, waving widely to the sous chef. “Bring everyone a glass. Put it on my tab.” When he laughs uproariously at his joke, Nellie Bee joins in, clapping her hands and laughing in glee, and Bram turns to me in alarm.

Thinking quickly, I motion for Missy to pass the coffee carafe, then I get up to take it around the table with a smile plastered on my face. “Who’d like coffee instead?” I say brightly. My attempt to sober up the culprits fails; no one but Jocasta and Missy hold their cups up. Even worse, Missy tries to push hers off on Michael. “Here you are, my darling,” she says through gritted teeth as she thrusts the cup under his nose.

Michael’s goofy look turns belligerent and he swats at it, sloshing coffee across the table, which brings on another drunken peal of laughter from Nellie Bee. When Charlie, sweating profusely under the lights, lays a restraining hand on her arm, she shakes him off. “Leave me alone, Charlie. I’ve waited twenty-six years for my nephew to wake up and smell the coffee.” Poking her husband with her elbow, she giggles. “Get it? Smell the coffee? Ha!”

“What does that mean?” Jocasta snaps, and Nellie Bee gives her a feline smile.

“You’re a smart cookie, Toots. You figure it out.”

Bram’s look of alarm has increased, so I cast around wildly for another angle. The perfect distraction hits me and I blurt out, “Bram! Why don’t you tell everyone about Lowcountry Stew?”

“Another course?” Michael groans. “Sorry, Dad, but I’m stuffed.”

Bram shoots me a look of relief then announces: “I’m finishing up a memoir I’m calling Lowcountry Stew, which is coming out next year, God willing.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Michael declares as he salutes his father with his glass. Nellie Bee and Charlie applaud, but Missy’s too focused on glaring at Michael to notice.

Jocasta raises her blond head sharply. “A memoir? You didn’t tell me it was a memoir, Bram. I thought you were working on a cookbook.”

Shooting her a disdainful look, Nellie Bee says, “Why would he tell you anything, Jocasta? Best I recall, you dumped my brother years ago.”

Jocasta’s face flushes, and the cameraman behind me snickers. With rising panic, I look around for Steve but can’t see anything in the blinding lights. Where is he, and why isn’t he stopping this?

“Oh, Papa O’Connor, how exciting!” Missy cries with an eager smile. “Will all of us be in your book?”

“Sure will,” Nellie Bee says. “And you get to be the princess. A role you were born to play.”

When Missy squeals in delight, Michael snorts. “That wasn’t a compliment, your highness.” When he hiccups and giggles, Missy gives him a shove and a look of disgust.

“Bram?” Jocasta drawls as she flutters her lashes at him. “Surely your book won’t include any . . . ah . . . family secrets, will it? I mean, that could be embarrassing to some of your family members.”

“Not me,” Nellie Bee says pointedly. “Won’t embarrass me a bit. But I wasn’t the one who ran off with my boyfriend.”

“Who did that?” Missy gasps, wide-eyed.

“No one!” Jocasta hisses. “Nellie Bee’s nothing but a troublemaker.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Charlie says, turning to glare at her. “I don’t appreciate that, Jocasta.”

She gives him a pitying look. “Poor old Charlie. Surely you’ve noticed that nobody in this family gives a jolly damn what you think.”

Snarling, Nellie Bee leans toward her. “You say one more thing, Jocasta, and you’ll wish you’d kept your skinny ass in Charleston.”

With a smirk, Jocasta says, “Oh, my. Looks like some of us have had too much to drink.”

“Including you,” Nellie Bee counters. “Trying to drown your sorrows. But guess what? When you sober up, you’ll still be making a fool of yourself mooning over my brother. And he’ll still be in love with Chris, not you.”

Jocasta’s face flares red and she glances furtively at the cameras before turning back to Nellie Bee. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” she hisses under her breath.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Nellie Bee’s voice is loud, not caring who hears her. “I dare you.”

Jocasta’s so furious that her hand’s shaking as she raises the delicate glass of dessert wine to her mouth. The sticky red liquid sloshes out and splashes the front of her dress. “Now look what you’ve made me do,” she screeches, grabbing for her napkin. “The whole family, nothing but a bunch of drunken Irish slobs.”

“You talking about me, Mom?” Michael says with another hiccup. “Or do you mean Princess Leah? No, wait—she’s high society, like you.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Bram says, but his voice is drowned out by Missy’s, who turns to Michael furiously.

“Don’t you dare take that tone with me, Michael O’Connor,” she spits out. “I know what you did this afternoon when you thought I was asleep.”

“What?” Nellie Bee asks, leaning forward in breathless excitement.

Missy whirls her head to Jocasta. “After our fight, you ran to Mommie Dearest, knowing she’d take your side like she always does. You probably told her what a terrible wife and mother I am, and how you regret marrying me.”

Michael’s face reddens and he grabs for Missy’s arm. “Now, honey, that’s not true. You