Hive Knight: A Dark Fantasy LitRPG (Trinity of the Hive Book 1) Grayson Sinclair (book recommendations website .TXT) 📖

The river was too inviting, so I stepped out of my pants and climbed down the embankment and waded out into the swirling waters. Eris huffed at my back.

“That’s not what I was getting at, Sam. I promise. I, too, know just how unforgiving this world can be, but I was just saying the sweet and charming side of you is nice to see, and I’d like to see it more often. Dark and brooding doesn’t fit your handsome face.”

I turned back and moved deeper into the water. Sweet and charming? Eh, I guess I have been nicer to Eris than I’ve been to anyone in years. She deserves someone nice, though, so maybe I can make more of an effort in that regard. I stopped when the water reached the bottom of my chest, careful of the current, but it still wasn’t strong enough to drag me anywhere.

Pulling out a bar of soap and a washrag from my inventory, I proceeded to take my time cleaning the sweat and grime that had accumulated, along with the added dirt from the forest floor. By the time I had finished washing my body and rinsing off, a splash from the riverbank told me that Eris had joined me in the water.

Small suds and soap bubbles drifted down the river. Eris sighed in contentment as the water ran over her. She was much shorter than I was and resorted to nearly submerging herself as she swam over to reach me. Not wanting her to get swept away by the river, I reached out and took her hand, pulling her into me. She wrapped her legs around my waist, fearing the current.

The water swept away all but the most tenacious of dirt, so I held on to her as I took my washcloth and helped clean the rest of the grime off her.

Once she was squeaky clean, I went to store the washcloth and soap back in my inventory, but Eris stopped me. She took hold of my hand and guided it back to her breast. She gazed at me with intent and would not let me pull my hand away.

“See, look how sweet you’re being. Even after sharing one another’s bodies, you’re still treating my flesh with respect. I am yours, body, and soul. As you are mine. You can touch me as much as you want.”

I leaned down and kissed her. “Honestly, I don’t know what you see in a failure like me.”

She took my chin in her hands and lifted my head, forcing me to look at her. “You are not a failure; I don’t believe that for a moment. You may have failed, but that doesn’t make you a failure.”

“Oh, but I am. I couldn’t protect the people I cared about the most, and they’re dead because of me.”

“You can say that as much as you want, but you can’t convince me. I’ve seen much of your life, both in this world and in yours. I know how much you cared for your family, I know the pain Micah’s death brought, but that isn’t solely what haunts you, my bonded. I could not see any of the life you led before this one, so I don’t know what the cause is, but it goes beyond the death of your brother, doesn’t it?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

She stopped my busy work and kissed me on the cheek as she hugged me. “Tell me.”

I hung my head and couldn’t look at her. I knew I would see compassion and acceptance in her eyes, and I didn’t deserve either. I deserved to be nothing more than shattered and rotting bones beside my brother. Micah deserved better, and so did Sophia. If I had stayed by Micah’s side, she would have never met me and would still be alive.

We didn’t speak for a long time after that moment. I just listened to the water as it swept past us. Eris stroked my cheek while I fought within myself, trying and failing once again to come to terms with the monsters of my past.

Since I’d met Eris, my past had been shoved into my face, over and over again. I just kept pushing it down and running, running from the pain that had been with me for thirty years. Eris wanted me to forgive myself, deep down I knew I wanted that, but I couldn’t...not yet.

Forgiving myself would mean letting go of the last remnants of Micah and Sophia.

Eris caressed my cheek, sensing the change in me. The warmth of her hand brought a pain that seared into me; I felt the tears brimming in my eyes, but I wiped them away. I’d shed enough recently, and it wasn’t helping anything. For the first time, I welcomed the magic within my heart; it chilled the brimming emotions that threatened to spill over.

I‘d had enough of the water. It didn’t hold the same appeal as when we’d arrived. I waded out of and threw on my pants. Eris had neglected to bring any clothes, though she didn’t seem to mind being naked. It wasn’t like mosquitoes would bite her; they wouldn’t dare drink the blood of their queen. They didn’t bother me much either, but they buzzed next to my ears enough times that I knew they didn’t treat the Hive Knight with nearly as much respect as the queen.

The walk back to camp was a quiet one. Eris knew how I was feeling and knew that she couldn’t force me to shed the shackles of my past, but she held my hand firmly, letting me know she wasn’t going anywhere.

Knowing I would open up when I was ready.

We finally reached the small wooded area where we had stopped for lunch. In our absence, a band of insects had swarmed