Trapped (Bullied Book 4) (Bullied Series) Vera Hollins (best large ereader txt) 📖

“What happened after the kiss?” Sar asked.

“Nothing. He brought me here and that was it.” I preferred to not mention our argument.

Mel cocked her head to the side. “So are you two on good terms now or what?”

I took a deep breath as a fresh wave of pain washed over me. The betrayed look on his face and the hate in his eyes kept torturing my mind, heightening my regret. I felt like crying, but I had to rein it in.

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

I couldn’t tell them what was wrong because I would have to reveal Blake’s past and his intention to get revenge on his kidnappers. “We just aren’t.”

“Do you want to be with him?” Sarah asked.

“No.”

Mel started clapping. “Someone give this girl an Oscar! That acting—so real!” She wiped the non-existent tears from her face, fake sobbing.

Glancing sideways, I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her. “Shut up.”

“I understand how you feel because I also wasn’t sure if I could be with Hayden,” Sarah said. “I was afraid he would hurt me even more, so I tried to suppress my feelings until I couldn’t do it anymore. I decided to risk it and give us a chance. There’s always a chance Blake will hurt you, yes, but there’s also a chance he will make you the happiest ever.”

I just nodded because this discussion was pointless anyway. I took another deep breath to dull the pain in my chest and wrung my hands together. “Anyway, there’s something I wanted to tell you.”

“You sound like you’re going to say you have a husband and two kids,” Mel said. Her eyes widened dramatically. “Do you?”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “You’re wrong. I have three husbands and ten children.”

“Wow. You’re keeping a farm there,” she replied, and we fell into a fit of giggles.

“So? What did you want to tell us?” Sar asked.

I stared at my clammy hands, thinking about the right way to reveal this vulnerable part of me. I was finally ready, but my face was already beet red.

“Please don’t judge me.”

Concern etched into Sarah’s features. “We aren’t going to judge you, Jess. You know you can tell us anything.”

“Yeah, girl,” Melissa added. “You have our support 24/7. We’re your personal superheroes.”

I took a deep breath. “You know I’m going to a therapist for my body image issues. Well, there’s something I didn’t tell you before. I…” I bit into my cheek. “I may have made myself throw up from time to time.” I raised my eyes to look at them, absolutely wary of their reaction.

Sarah’s eyes were wide. “Oh no, Jess. How… Why? When did it start?”

I licked my lips. “In eighth grade. My old crush picked on me because of my weight, and at that point, after many unsuccessful diets, throwing up was my only answer.” I picked at the pulled thread on my jeans. “Mom sent me to a therapist immediately, and I managed to improve my poor self-image a little, but I always struggled with it. I made myself vomit when it got really hard, just like around three weeks ago. That was the last time I did it.”

“Jess,” Sarah whispered, touching her hand to my shoulder. I covered her hand with mine and smiled gratefully.

Mel slid off the sofa and jumped up next to me on the bed. “Come here.” She pulled me into a tight hug. “Why are you doing that to yourself? I’m not saying you need to lose weight, but if you really want to be slimmer, why don’t you exercise? Making yourself throw up is very bad for your health.”

I leaned away to look at her. “I know. I really do. I guess the pressure was just too much for me, and this was an easy way to deal with it. But exercising…I tried it, but I never made any progress, and it was hard. Maybe one day I’ll try again and be able to stick to it. Then again, I want to love myself the way I am—slimmer waist or not.”

“You’re right, because pounds come and go, but what matters is what’s inside you,” Sar told me.

“Sar, the wise one, is right,” Melissa said. “Don’t rush it. Work on yourself gradually, and you’ll see that you’ll be happier in time.”

I giggled. “You both sound like counselors.”

Mel winked at me. “I’ll start charging you soon.”

“How are you feeling now?” Sar asked. “Have you…have you had the urge to throw up again?”

I shook my head. “No. I’ve been talking about it with my therapist since then, and she’s helped me a lot. She helps me focus on the positives and encourages me to follow my dreams. And whenever I have that urge again, she told me the key is in accepting the mistake, learning from it, and moving on instead of regretting my choice.”

“She sounds like my therapist,” Sar remarked. “She always says to accept mistakes and learn from them.”

Melissa grinned. “Your therapists should be besties.”

“Maybe they are,” I joked. “Anyway, thanks, girls. This helps me a lot.”

“Don’t thank us, dummy.” Mel bumped my shoulder. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell us this before. We would’ve helped you.”

I played with the ends of my hair. “I was afraid you would judge me. Besides, my road to recovery is long because this is so much more than just body issues.”

“I know, silly, but still…you’re super, super, super beautiful, on the inside and on the outside. Just take care of your health. As my dearest grandma once told me, health is wealth.”

I returned her smile. “Thanks, Mel. I’ve been feeling like a failure recently, but I know I’m so much more than this. I want to fight it.”

Mel flexed her bicep. “That’s the spirit!”

Sarah’s smile was soft. “You’re absolutely not a failure. You’re kind, smart, and an amazing singer. You have an incredible talent.”

I worried my lip between my teeth. “You really think that?”

Her smile grew bigger. “I know that.