January Dreams Carrigan Richards (the mitten read aloud TXT) 📖

vision of him mourning for someone while he was staring over a cliff. The same cliff from my dreams.”

Cherry gasps.

“Vincent tells me he’s the one making me see these visions and now I’m thinking he can read my mind and see the dreams I’ve been having. Everything is so messed up and I love Vincent, but I can’t stop thinking about Casper. And these dreams are making me crazy.”

Cherry gets up and wraps her arms around me while I cry. She rubs my back. “This is-I don’t know what to say, Megan. I mean, it’s like something is forcing you to be with Casper or something or the cosmic gods or.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know, Megan.”

“I don’t know what to do because I find myself having feelings for both of them and each one makes me feel different, but the dreams are wreaking havoc and making me feel and think things that probably would never cross my mind.”

We sit in silence for a while and I know she’s at a loss for words.

“I know it all sounds so preposterous. But this is my life now. Vincent’s afraid that I’m going to leave him, and I have feelings for Casper.”

“Okay, first of all, take a deep breath. Breathe in. Breathe out.”

I do as she says.

“Set aside the dreams and visions. Forget about them for a moment. Tell me how you feel about Vincent and Casper here in your real life.”

I take a couple more breaths and close my eyes, focusing on each man. When I open my eyes, I nod, and Cherry and I return to the couch. “With Vincent, I feel like there’s a struggle between us because he never seems to trust me. He makes me feel loved. And protected. There’s this darkness about him that I’m drawn to, but it scares me a little. He’s always serious and brooding. But he’s kind and caring. But his jealousy is intense.

“With Casper, it’s easy. I feel like I can be myself. He’s always been genuine and tells the truth, no matter what. He makes my insides twist with an ache and whenever we’ve hugged, it felt so natural. He makes me feel safe.”

Cherry lets out a surrendering sigh. “As much as I hate to say this, you like Casper more.”

“What?”

“When you talked about Vincent, you gripped the pillow and you seemed like you were on edge, but with Casper you seemed relaxed. Casper challenges you. He makes you feel things you’ve never felt before and isn’t controlling. I was rooting for Vincent this whole time, but I was wrong. Vincent is a little controlling. He makes you skip school and work all the time.”

“We’re teenagers. That’s what we’re supposed to do.”

“Okay, but I noticed something change in you in January. You say the dreams intensified then, but so did your life. Maybe the dreams represent your life. Vincent doesn’t seem good for you.”

“No, I’m not breaking up with Vincent. We’re in a weird patch right now.”

“Okay. But Megan, don’t deny yourself what you deserve or want. Life’s too short to be with someone you’re not completely happy with. It may be good, but it’s not great. You’re fighting hard against something that it’s driving you insane. It’s stressing you out and the only way you’re going to find out is if you give it your all. People unfortunately get hurt, but you have to be selfish once in a while and do what makes you happy. And if Vincent is already telling you to stop talking to Casper, that’s a red flag. I would never tell Luke to stop talking to his friends, male or female. Sure, I may get jealous, but he’s with me. You have feelings for Casper, but you’ve ignored them this long. You’re not a cheater, and if Vincent can’t trust you, he never will.”

I nod. It feels good to get all of it off my chest, but now I can’t stop thinking about what Cherry said. Is she right? Do I like Casper more? Does Vincent put me on edge that much? I never noticed it before.

Chapter Forty-Three

Throughout the following week, Casper and I work on our stupid project and I hate the tension around us. I haven’t told Vincent about us working together again and I don’t want to deal with a jealous controlling boyfriend right now. And I don’t want him to get sad again or think I’m going to leave him. We haven’t talked about that night with the visions and I’m sure I’m avoiding it because I don’t want to know how that cliff was in my dreams and his visions.

My dreams are still rather uneventful, which is nice. I don’t need the added stress.

I’m thankful it’s Friday, but we only have until Tuesday of next week to finish our project. I’m pretty sure no one’s going to work on it over the weekend since it’s prom.

Casper and I ask if we can go to the library to dig up more crap about Nathanial Hawthorne. Normally, I would be excited to work on such an assignment but being around a moody Casper doesn’t help. We sit across from each other at a table reading and researching.

“Have you found anything yet?” I ask him.

Casper sighs. “Not since the last time you asked me ten minutes ago. Maybe you should stop worrying about what I’m doing and focus on your own research.”

I grit my teeth. “Why are you being such a jerk?”

He looks up and meets my eyes. “Probably the same reason you’re being one.”

I feel my jaw drop. I want to tell him that I hate him and that he hurt my feelings, but I don’t. I don’t hate him either. I look back down at the book, feeling the tears burning at the back of my eyes. If I