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âMiss Tycho?â said the specialist.
âYuh-yes, Doctor?â choked Syndi. âHowâs she doing?â
âNot well, Iâm afraid. Your mother has perhaps two days to live.â
The Mother of All Battles
Lacking external foes, one F*O*O*Jster was psychosomatically destroying herself, and collectively the remaining F*O*O*Jsters were turning on themselves in a psychotic downspiral of workplace-superpowered civil war. Most disturbingly, in their collective breakdown, the F*O*O*Jâs paranoia had plummeted even to the point of questioning the identity and integrity of their therapist.
Unless I were able to help my sanity-supplicants integrate the disparate lessons theyâd gained from therapy into a new paradigm of postheroic psychemotional equilibrium, they would soon destroy themselvesâŠand countless innocent people along with them.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Self-Distraction is Self-Destruction
SUNDAY, JULY 16, 4:33 P.M.
Countdown to Armageddon
Perhaps I should leave,â I suggested, âand let you all work during this obvious crisis.â
âYouâre not going anywhere, Miss Brain!â said Festus.
âSurely you donât believe Kareemâs delusion about me beingâŠI mean, that I could beââ
âItâs not whether I believe it. Itâs that he does. Which means youâre his target. So youâre not only in danger and needing our protection,â he said, stepping toward me and clamping his gigantic hands on my shoulders in a gesture I imagined was intended to be reassuring, âyouâre our bait.â
After forcing me to offer multiple reassurances that I was not Menton the Destroyer, the three F*O*O*Jsters focused on the aforementioned frightening fracas soon to unfold. Not since the breakdown of Gil Gamoid and the N-Kid had there been the threat of terrorism by a member of the F*O*O*J.
After a moment of silence, Festus said, âHow do we know Edgerton didnât kill Hawk King?â
Syndiâs lips parted, curled into disgust accentuated by the electrical burn on her cheek. âOh, shut up, Festus! Why not just accuse him of killing Kennedy while youâre at it? Oh no, I forgotâKareem was only a baby, but you were in Dallas that dayââ
âNaw, look here, girly,â said AndrĂ©, regaining his trademarked urban drawl and swagger. âWhat if Squirrel-dawg be right? Check it: Major Ursa and the Spectacle said there were no signs of forced entry or teleportation at the Blue Pyramid. Whoever, yâknowâŠdid it, like, Hawk King had toâve known im, right? So what if Kreemâs tellin the truth about a special relationship with Hawk King? The King coulda let him inââ
âHow, AndrĂ©? How would Kareem have enough power to kill Hawk King?â she said. âAnd more important, why would he want to kill his idol?â
âLook, girl, who knows how powerful Kreem really is? Think about what he could do with all his logo-magicalisms. He could send words down somebodyâs throat and clog their lungs or stop their heart, or inside their veins and explode their brains! Fâall we know he could make poison gas or a nuclear bombââ
âWhy, AndrĂ©? You havenât said anything about why!â
âWhy? Shit, P-girl, manâs a Afro-paranoid! He prawly blieves Hawk King really was black, so maybe he went to im, said, âHelp me knock off whitey,â an when the King said hell, no! and got ready to lock im up, BAM!, Kreem up an words im to deathââ
ââand then leads an investigation not only to boost his electoral delusions,â nodded Festus, âbut as a diversionary tactic away from himself and onto an absurd conspiracy theory about Menton.â
âAbsurd?â spat Syndi. âYou yourself said thatââ
âAnd worse,â said Festus, âhis goddamned plan worked! That diabolical deviant is smarter than he smells. He wanted power on the F*L*A*C, power now denied to himâoh, you wouldnât believe how many transcripts Iâve read of his speeches to antiwhite agitators and melanin-maddened malcontents over the yearsââ
âDamn, Peej, Kreem be usin his word-things to do his spyin inside computers? He could track anybody, maybe evrabody? Think about it! Combine that with what he could do inside peopleâs cells, they brainsâŠsnap, he on his way to becoming the most powerful man in the world, you knawm sayn?â
âThe man hates the F*O*O*J,â said Festus. âAnd he never hid it. Hates the F*L*A*C, hates the membership, hates our history, our traditions, our values, our missionâthe only thing he didnât hateââ
He stopped a second to rake Syndiâs pelvis with his gaze.
âFuck you, Festus!â
AndrĂ©: âPeople, people, eyes on the prize, here!â
âObviously, Edgertonâs aim,â said Festus, âwas to seize control of the F*O*O*J, by election if possibleâremember, Hitler came to power by electionâor by nefarious means if necessaryâŠand eventually make the F*L*A*C all-black, contract all outsourcing services to black companiesââ
âDo you have an atom of proof for any of this, Festus?â
âWhen youâve been the Worldâs Greatest Detective for fifty years, little girl, your instincts lead you far more than the evidence ever does. And youâŠwerenât you the one who sponsored him to join the F*O*O*J in the first place?â
She rocked back. âSuh-so what?â
âHow do we know you arenât spying for him right now and that your perfectly timed public âoutingâ wasnât intended to distract attention from your continued collusion with him?â
âNow whoâs paranoid, detective?â she yelled at the exact moment something smacked her in the face and hovered above her head.
It was a black rectangle no larger than an ordinary envelope.
âItâs from Edgerton!â said Festus, reaching for it, but Syndi got it first.
âItâs got my name on it,â she scolded, turning it over to show us. Opening what was not an envelope but merely a folded sheet, she flashed its contents at us: letter-shaped holes in the black substance formed text. Placing the logogram against the wall for easier reading, she shielded it with her body for privacy.
âHowâd that get in here?â said AndrĂ©.
âPerhaps it followed you,â I suggested.
âBut if itâs for her,â said Festus, âhow would heâve known AndrĂ©âd be meeting up with her?â
âBrotherflyâs more concerned,â said AndrĂ©, âthat Kreem can be trackin anybody, anywhere. An next time he might not be sendin no letter, knawm sayn?â
âWhatâs it say?â demanded Festus.
Syndi paused. âHeâŠhe wants me to meet him.â
Festus glared an A-ha! at her.
âIâm not working with him!â she said. âHe said he just wants to see me to
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