The Amish Teacher's Dilemma and Healing Their Amish Hearts Patricia Davids (best self help books to read TXT) 📖

“Did you still love him?” Jesse asked.

“Perhaps. But it didn’t matter. He’d discovered that he was in love with Ruth, another girl in our Gmay. It seemed they’d developed feelings for each other that went beyond friendship. I’d always wondered why he refused to set our wedding date. Now I know it was because he...he didn’t want me anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

His heart ached for her. He could just imagine how it must have hurt her, living in a Gmay with a boy that everyone thought loved her. And then the embarrassment and pain of finding out he preferred someone else. All her broken dreams must have been painful but also demoralizing. No wonder she had wanted to leave and go somewhere else to start over again. He’d done the same thing after Alice and their girls had died.

She met his gaze, her eyes filled with strength and courage. “Don’t be sorry. It was a blessing. Vernon and I would have been unhappy together. We’d been gut friends all our lives but we’d grown apart. He thought I read too many books and was way too opinionated and I thought he was too domineering. We wouldn’t have gotten on well together. And I love teaching. I decided to make that my profession. I love working with the kinder. It’s a gut career choice for an unmarried Amish girl like me. I just wish I didn’t have to return to Ohio at the end of the school year. Vernon and Ruth will be married next fall and I’d really rather not be there to watch it happen.”

Ah, he understood now. He could read between the lines. She didn’t want to watch the man she had loved for so long marry another girl and start a familye together. And being Amish, that must hurt Becca even more because she was still single. In fact, Becca was quite old to be unmarried. By Amish standards, she was an old maid. But now, it appeared that she had decided she wanted to spend her life teaching. It was a noble profession too and he was glad she’d found something fulfilling and worthwhile to do.

He tilted his head to the side. “Why do you have to leave here? Why not stay?”

She shrugged before lifting Chrissie down off the table. The toddler waved her chubby arms and laughed. She was so sweet and innocent and she immediately reminded Jesse of his own two little girls.

“My teaching assignment will be finished when school lets out the first of May,” Becca said. “By next fall, Caroline Schwartz will have recovered from her accident and can resume her teaching assignment. I can’t live off my relatives without finding some kind of employment. And Riverton is too small a town to offer many jobs, let alone another teaching position in another Amish school. I’ll have to leave to find work. The logical choice is to go home, so I have a place to live until I can find another position.”

Hmm. For some odd reason, he didn’t like the thought of her leaving. She’d been so good for Sam. She’d been good for him too.

“You could find a different teaching assignment here in Colorado,” he suggested.

She gave a sad little laugh. “I’m afraid there aren’t that many Amish settlements here, let alone vacant teaching positions for their schools. The only reason I got this assignment was because I have familye here and they knew me well enough to give the school board a recommendation for me.”

“Perhaps you’ll find another position somewhere in Ohio or Pennsylvania. Maybe you won’t have to go home after all,” he said.

Even as he suggested the idea, he knew it was unlikely. Unless they were in a real bind, the Amish preferred to hire someone they knew and trusted to teach their precious children. Each Gmay had their own Ordnung, the unwritten rules they followed within their unique community. Unless Becca married one of their men and agreed to abide by their Ordnung, she would be an outsider in another Amish community. They would never hire her to teach their kids.

“Ach, I better get back to work. We’re almost finished painting Sam’s bedroom and the weibsleit need my help.” She stood and walked to the door.

“Ja, I best get back to work too.”

He wished he could stay and ask her more questions about her life. He found her quite interesting and he respected her pioneering spirit and desire to have a career rather than marry. It couldn’t have been easy for her to come here to a strange land to live and work. But it wouldn’t be proper for him to keep talking to her right now. She was hurting, just like him. And he didn’t want to remind her of that pain. Besides, the mannsleit were waiting for him to bring them water.

As he carried the cups and jug outside, he found it hard to believe that Vernon would cast Becca aside for someone else. Becca would make the perfect Amish wife. Besides being capable of cleaning and running a household, she was an excellent cook and was beautiful and knowledgeable. Fascinating to talk to. When he was with her, he could almost forget his broken heart.

Almost.

If the situation were different, he might be willing to ask Jakob if he could court her. But Jesse couldn’t forget about Alice. His heart still ached for his sweet wife. In his mind, he was still married to her and he couldn’t let her go.

He’d heard of some Amish widowers with children marrying a woman for convenience. He thought about approaching Becca and Jakob, to see if they might agree to such an arrangement. After all, he badly needed a wife and Sam needed a mother. Becca needed a permanent place to stay so she wouldn’t have to return to Ohio. But no. A loveless marriage wouldn’t be fair to Becca. Or him, for that matter. Both of them