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when Iā€™d painted his face with my fingers and weā€™d discussed safe words, never thinking Iā€™d ever need to use one with him. Back in a time before I really knew how screwed up this game could be.

I let out a shaky sigh as I felt the pressure of Freddieā€™s knife lessen, his hand dropping slightly. But then something hardened in his eyes. ā€œIā€™m sorry, Rachel, I canā€™t break the rules. I canā€™t let you go.ā€

That wasnā€™t good enough.

Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I should join the field hockey team, because I kneed Freddie in the groin so hard that he groaned and dropped his knife. He stumbled, reached for the blade, but I got to it first. I grabbed it and swung, knocking its hilt into the bridge of his nose, which exploded with a satisfying crunch. It was enough to knock him onto his back.

I took off.

I hoped the trees and the darkness were enough cover. After everything, after the truth, after seeing who was really behind the mask, I kept coming back to the fact that all of this was just a childish game. Not just the club itself, but even this very moment, when I was at once running for my life, panting for breath, and basically playing a fucking game of tag. Only, if I was caught, I was dead.

My warring thoughts, my racing heart, the darkness of the parkā€”it was all closing in on me, and before I realized it was there, Iā€™d slammed into something. No, someone. I bounced back, expecting Freddie and already swinging my arms, but it was Bram.

I recoiled but then I remembered I didnā€™t have to be scared. I was still gripping the knife in my hand. I held it up over my head like Norman Bates had taught me.

ā€œRachel, wait.ā€ Bram took a step back, his hands out, showing me that they were empty.

ā€œI know everything!ā€ I barked, my voice shredded. ā€œI know Iā€™m the target!ā€

ā€œRachel, Iā€™m on your side.ā€

ā€œBullshit!ā€ Of course he would say that. I aimed the knife at his lying mouth. ā€œI donā€™t believe you.ā€

ā€œYou shouldnā€™t!ā€ Freddie called, walking through the trees to us, a hand clamped over his bleeding nose. ā€œBram was in on it the whole time. Heā€™s the Stu to my Billy Loomis!ā€

Freddie walked up next to Bram and I swung the knife between the two boys to keep them back. It felt as useless as swinging a twig between two approaching lions. Both of these assholes were dangerous and I didnā€™t trust either of them. But there was something I could doā€”a last-ditch effort to see if Bram was lying.

ā€œThayer told me we arenā€™t the only ones playing. What did he mean?ā€

ā€œIā€™ll tell you everything,ā€ Bram said, but before he could say anything more, Freddie tackled me. The next thing I knew my mouth was shoveling snow and the knife had flown out of my hand. I scrambled up, searching for it, but by then, the knife was back in Freddieā€™s hands like itā€™d never left. He was so close that I had no time to run, only to brace myself as he lurched toward me. I raised my arms to shield myself, expecting to feel the sting of the blade slashing through my thick sleeves. As the knife came hurtling toward me, I shut my eyes instinctively.

Instead, I heard a groan.

When I opened my eyes, I saw that Freddieā€™s knife was shiny with red. And that Bram was holding a hand to his chest. The scene in front of me almost didnā€™t make sense, but the blood seeping through Bramā€™s fingers painted the picture for me. He stumbled backward, looking just as shocked as I felt. He turned to Freddie, as though to ask him why heā€™d done that, but when he opened his mouth to speak, only blood came sputtering out.

As Bram slumped to the ground, Freddie turned to face me. ā€œThis is how itā€™s going to go,ā€ he said, out of breath and sweating. ā€œIā€™m going to tell the police that you were scared, kept talking about some guy from your break-in last year who followed you all the way to the city. You were afraid he was going to kill you. Iā€™m going to say that it turned out to be Bram. I tried to fight himā€”I tried to save you, I really didā€”but I was too late. He got to you. He killed you.ā€

Hearing Freddie narrate my death made me choke back a sob.

ā€œAnd when he came after me, wellā€ā€”Freddie used the back of his hand to wipe the moisture from his forehead, never letting go of the knifeā€”ā€œWe both know how easy it is to lie about ā€˜self-defense.ā€™ā€

I shook my head, my ears ringing, my eyes stinging with tears. ā€œI never lied about that.ā€

ā€œYes, you did.ā€ The force of his words seemed to propel Freddie forward. ā€œYou want to know why all of this happened? Why I picked you? I did it because you lied, Rachel. You killed Matthew Marshall.ā€

It was like heā€™d just pushed me off a cliff. Matthewā€™s name sounded so foreign coming out of Freddieā€™s mouth. It didnā€™t belong to him. I wanted to reach out, stick my hand inside Freddieā€™s mouth, and pull his tongue out. I would hold tight with my fingernails. I would pull until it tore off, until his face didnā€™t look a face anymore.

I couldā€™ve done that. And in another life I might have. But as I watched Freddie, fixing his grip on the knife, I recognized something in him. The monster inside.

Freddie and I were two sides of the same coin. Fear had created me, lured out the monster who reacted recklessly, whoā€™d killed Matthew. For Freddie it was anger that made him this way. I could see it so clearly now. Freddie was a puppet to his anger. But I wasnā€™t going to let my fear control me anymore. I wouldnā€™t be reckless.

I would fightā€”I would do everything to stop him. But I knew

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