The Magnificent Ambersons Booth Tarkington (reading like a writer txt) 📖

in the morning he came downstairs and tried to help Fanny make coffee on the kitchen range.

“There was something I wanted to say to you last night, Aunt Fanny,” he said, as she finally discovered that an amber fluid, more like tea than coffee, was as near ready to be taken into the human system as it would ever be. “I think I’d better do it now.”

She set the coffeepot back upon the stove with a little crash, and, looking at him in a desperate anxiety, began to twist her dainty apron between her fingers without any consciousness of what she was doing.

“Why⁠—why⁠—” she stammered; but she knew what he was going to say, and that was why she had been more and more nervous. “Hadn’t⁠—perhaps⁠—perhaps we’d better get the⁠—the things moved to the little new home first, George. Let’s⁠—”

He interrupted quietly, though at her phrase, “the little new home,” his pungent impulse was to utter one loud shout and run. “It was about this new place that I wanted to speak. I’ve been thinking it over, and I’ve decided. I want you to take all the things from mother’s room and use them and keep them for me, and I’m sure the little apartment will be just what you like; and with the extra bedroom probably you could find some woman friend to come and live there, and share the expense with you. But I’ve decided on another arrangement for myself, and so I’m not going with you. I don’t suppose you’ll mind much, and I don’t see why you should mind⁠—particularly, that is. I’m not very lively company these days, or any days, for that matter. I can’t imagine you, or anyone else, being much attached to me, so⁠—”

He stopped in amazement: no chair had been left in the kitchen, but Fanny gave a despairing glance around her, in search of one, then sank abruptly, and sat flat upon the floor.

“You’re going to leave me in the lurch!” she gasped.

“What on earth⁠—” George sprang to her. “Get up, Aunt Fanny!”

“I can’t. I’m too weak. Let me alone, George!” And as he released the wrist he had seized to help her, she repeated the dismal prophecy which for days she had been matching against her hopes: “You’re going to leave me⁠—in the lurch!”

“Why no, Aunt Fanny!” he protested. “At first I’d have been something of a burden on you. I’m to get eight dollars a week; about thirty-two a month. The rent’s thirty-six dollars a month, and the table-d’hôte dinner runs up to over twenty-two dollars apiece, so with my half of the rent⁠—eighteen dollars⁠—I’d have less than nothing left out of my salary to pay my share of the groceries for all the breakfasts and luncheons. You see you’d not only be doing all the housework and cooking, but you’d be paying more of the expenses than I would.”

She stared at him with such a forlorn blankness as he had never seen. “I’d be paying⁠—” she said feebly. “I’d be paying⁠—”

“Certainly you would. You’d be using more of your money than⁠—”

“My money!” Fanny’s chin drooped upon her thin chest, and she laughed miserably. “I’ve got twenty-eight dollars. That’s all.”

“You mean until the interest is due again?”

“I mean that’s all,” Fanny said. “I mean that’s all there is. There won’t be any more interest because there isn’t any principal.”

“Why, you told⁠—”

She shook her head. “No, I haven’t told you anything.”

“Then it was Uncle George. He told me you had enough to fall back on. That’s just what he said: ‘to fall back on.’ He said you’d lost more than you should, in the headlight company, but he’d insisted that you should hold out enough to live on, and you’d very wisely followed his advice.”

“I know,” she said weakly. “I told him so. He didn’t know, or else he’d forgotten, how much Wilbur’s insurance amounted to, and I⁠—oh, it seemed such a sure way to make a real fortune out of a little⁠—and I thought I could do something for you, George, if you ever came to need it⁠—and it all looked so bright I just thought I’d put it all in. I did⁠—every cent except my last interest payment⁠—and it’s gone.”

“Good Lord!” George began to pace up and down on the worn planks of the bare floor. “Why on earth did you wait till now to tell such a thing as this?”

“I couldn’t tell till I had to,” she said piteously. “I couldn’t till George Amberson went away. He couldn’t do anything to help, anyhow, and I just didn’t want him to talk to me about it⁠—he’s been at me so much about not putting more in than I could afford to lose, and said he considered he had my⁠—my word I wasn’t putting more than that in it. So I thought: What was the use? What was the use of going over it all with him and having him reproach me, and probably reproach himself? It wouldn’t do any good⁠—not any good on earth.” She got out her lace handkerchief and began to cry. “Nothing does any good, I guess, in this old world. Oh, how tired of this old world I am! I didn’t know what to do. I just tried to go ahead and be as practical as I could, and arrange some way for us to live. Oh, I knew you didn’t want me, George! You always teased me and berated me whenever you had a chance from the time you were a little boy⁠—you did so! Later, you’ve tried to be kinder to me, but you don’t want me around⁠—oh, I can see that much! You don’t suppose I want to thrust myself on you, do you? It isn’t very pleasant to be thrusting yourself on a person you know doesn’t want you⁠—but I knew you oughtn’t to be left all alone in the world; it isn’t good. I knew your mother’d want me to watch over you and try to have something like