Of Human Bondage W. Somerset Maugham (epub e reader txt) 📖

and next day found lighting the fire and making their own coffee, which they had in pyjamas, such a jolly business that Philip did not get to Amitrano’s till nearly eleven. He was in excellent spirits. He nodded to Fanny Price.

“How are you getting on?” he asked cheerily.

“What does that matter to you?” she asked in reply.

Philip could not help laughing.

“Don’t jump down my throat. I was only trying to make myself polite.”

“I don’t want your politeness.”

“D’you think it’s worth while quarrelling with me too?” asked Philip mildly. “There are so few people you’re on speaking terms with, as it is.”

“That’s my business, isn’t it?”

“Quite.”

He began to work, vaguely wondering why Fanny Price made herself so disagreeable. He had come to the conclusion that he thoroughly disliked her. Everyone did. People were only civil to her at all from fear of the malice of her tongue; for to their faces and behind their backs she said abominable things. But Philip was feeling so happy that he did not want even Miss Price to bear ill-feeling towards him. He used the artifice which had often before succeeded in banishing her ill-humour.

“I say, I wish you’d come and look at my drawing. I’ve got in an awful mess.”

“Thank you very much, but I’ve got something better to do with my time.”

Philip stared at her in surprise, for the one thing she could be counted upon to do with alacrity was to give advice. She went on quickly in a low voice, savage with fury.

“Now that Lawson’s gone you think you’ll put up with me. Thank you very much. Go and find somebody else to help you. I don’t want anybody else’s leavings.”

Lawson had the pedagogic instinct; whenever he found anything out he was eager to impart it; and because he taught with delight he talked with profit. Philip, without thinking anything about it, had got into the habit of sitting by his side; it never occurred to him that Fanny Price was consumed with jealousy, and watched his acceptance of someone else’s tuition with ever-increasing anger.

“You were very glad to put up with me when you knew nobody here,” she said bitterly, “and as soon as you made friends with other people you threw me aside, like an old glove”⁠—she repeated the stale metaphor with satisfaction⁠—“like an old glove. All right, I don’t care, but I’m not going to be made a fool of another time.”

There was a suspicion of truth in what she said, and it made Philip angry enough to answer what first came into his head.

“Hang it all, I only asked your advice because I saw it pleased you.”

She gave a gasp and threw him a sudden look of anguish. Then two tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked frowsy and grotesque. Philip, not knowing what on earth this new attitude implied, went back to his work. He was uneasy and conscience-stricken; but he would not go to her and say he was sorry if he had caused her pain, because he was afraid she would take the opportunity to snub him. For two or three weeks she did not speak to him, and, after Philip had got over the discomfort of being cut by her, he was somewhat relieved to be free from so difficult a friendship. He had been a little disconcerted by the air of proprietorship she assumed over him. She was an extraordinary woman. She came every day to the studio at eight o’clock, and was ready to start working when the model was in position; she worked steadily, talking to no one, struggling hour after hour with difficulties she could not overcome, and remained till the clock struck twelve. Her work was hopeless. There was not in it the smallest approach even to the mediocre achievement at which most of the young persons were able after some months to arrive. She wore every day the same ugly brown dress, with the mud of the last wet day still caked on the hem and with the raggedness, which Philip had noticed the first time he saw her, still unmended.

But one day she came up to him, and with a scarlet face asked whether she might speak to him afterwards.

“Of course, as much as you like,” smiled Philip. “I’ll wait behind at twelve.”

He went to her when the day’s work was over.

“Will you walk a little bit with me?” she said, looking away from him with embarrassment.

“Certainly.”

They walked for two or three minutes in silence.

“D’you remember what you said to me the other day?” she asked then on a sudden.

“Oh, I say, don’t let’s quarrel,” said Philip. “It really isn’t worth while.”

She gave a quick, painful inspiration.

“I don’t want to quarrel with you. You’re the only friend I had in Paris. I thought you rather liked me. I felt there was something between us. I was drawn towards you⁠—you know what I mean, your clubfoot.”

Philip reddened and instinctively tried to walk without a limp. He did not like anyone to mention the deformity. He knew what Fanny Price meant. She was ugly and uncouth, and because he was deformed there was between them a certain sympathy. He was very angry with her, but he forced himself not to speak.

“You said you only asked my advice to please me. Don’t you think my work’s any good?”

“I’ve only seen your drawing at Amitrano’s. It’s awfully hard to judge from that.”

“I was wondering if you’d come and look at my other work. I’ve never asked anyone else to look at it. I should like to show it to you.”

“It’s awfully kind of you. I’d like to see it very much.”

“I live quite near here,” she said apologetically. “It’ll only take you ten minutes.”

“Oh, that’s all right,” he said.

They were walking along the boulevard, and she turned down a side street, then led him into another, poorer still, with cheap shops on the ground floor, and at last stopped. They climbed flight after flight of stairs. She unlocked a door,