Body of Stars Laura Walter (chrome ebook reader .txt) 📖

“I want to show you something.”

He led me off the park path, through the athletic field, and along the edge of the woods. Where the field ended, we proceeded into a meadow overgrown with tall grasses.

“My friends and I spent time here when we were kids,” he told me. “We made forts out of mud and weeds. A few times, we came late at night to set off bottle rockets.”

I had known none of this. It was another of my brother’s secrets.

“When I got older,” Miles continued, “I brought girls here.”

I ducked my head, embarrassed. “Why are you telling me this?”

“So you can know me better. So we can know each other.”

Miles led me through the weeds and I followed, stepping in the trace marks he left in the grass. I watched as he bent down to retrieve something and hold it aloft.

It was a strawberry—a tiny, bumpy strawberry plucked from its sweet green leaves. The berries grew late that season, later than I’d ever seen them before.

“You remember these?” he asked. “We had them all over the yard.”

“We tried to sell them.”

“A business failure. We were hopeless.” Miles brought the strawberry closer to his face, examining it. Then he popped it in his mouth and chewed.

We were quiet, as if waiting for something to transform. Finally, Miles bent to pick another berry, and then another. I would never forget that image of my brother standing with his hands cupped full of strawberries, a look on his face like triumph. As if he believed those berries could bring him life.

“You were afraid to eat these at first,” he went on. “Remember? You thought anything wild was poison.”

I joined him in gathering. We raked the grass clean, staining our fingers. We folded the bottom hems of our shirts and dropped the berries there. A cool wind snapped against us, hitting me so strong and sharp I felt I was being unzipped.

Miles reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic bag. Bloodflower pills rolled around inside.

“You want one?” he asked.

“No. And you shouldn’t take one, either.”

“We all need a way to go on.” He gazed into the field beyond, deep in thought. “You know, I took you into that alley because I was weak. I wanted answers, and I wanted to save you, but I was also afraid of not knowing the future. I felt helpless against what was coming.”

“I understand, Miles.”

He rattled the bag again, but I shook my head.

“Maybe bloodflower will be the reason, in the end,” I said.

He made a face. “The reason?”

“You know what I mean. You should take care of yourself.”

His expression was amused. “We both know how this ends. Let me do what I need to face it.” He brought a pill near his lips and paused, meeting my eyes. “Take one with me?”

I pulled back. “Bloodflower made me remember.”

“This time will be different. Especially if you just take half.” He placed the pill between his teeth and bit down hard, cracking it in half. He withdrew one of the pieces and held it out.

“Half will be gentler,” he added.

“Why is this so important to you?”

He blinked, as if the answer were obvious. “So we can be together. We don’t have much longer, do we?”

With some reluctance, I accepted the sliver of bloodflower. I took this drug that had come from my brother’s mouth and placed it in my own. I swallowed.

We lay next to each other in the grass. For a long while we watched clouds move across the sky. I was thinking how the world can open up in new ways if only you shift to view it from a different angle. Before, all I saw were weeds and wildflowers, but now I had the whole blue face of the planet to gaze into. There were so many layers to the world.

Miles reached over and took my hand. The bloodflower was working. We floated, skimming along the grass together. First I saw us as children, picking and eating those strawberries, but then I watched our current selves as if from above: brother and sister lying in the grass, holding hands. I felt, in that moment, a mistake had been made. We were meant to be twins, to share one fate, to live the same stretch of time on this earth.

“Miles,” I said. My voice felt strange, a disembodied vibration in my throat. “Are you afraid?”

Silence. I felt the grass pushing against my back, the sun on my face. My brother was quiet for so long that I wondered if he’d fallen asleep. Finally, he spoke.

“You and Julia are going to work together for a long time. The two of you will help countless girls.” He paused. “You’re going to change things.”

“We already are. We’re changing things right now, with you.”

“You have years ahead of you. Decades. I’ll be gone soon, but you’re so young, Celeste. You have the whole of your adulthood to come. You and Julia will be experts in the field. You’ll accomplish things I couldn’t even imagine.”

I clung to his hand. It was impossible to imagine him being gone—no more body, no more voice, no more mind. Where would he go, I wondered, and what would be left of the rest of us?

“You and Julia will expand your curriculum,” he continued. “Our parents will help the cause, as will Marie’s mother, as will so many other people you haven’t even met yet. That addendum will be published in Mapping the Future. Fewer and fewer girls will be abducted. All girls and women will gain more control over their own lives and bodies, bit by bit. It will happen slowly, but it’s coming. And you’ll be at the head of it.”

“You can’t know all this,” I said. “Not for certain.”

But I knew that Miles was right. I knew it as surely as if he had a direct line to all that was to come, a map of markings more complete and complex than