Short Fiction Selma Lagerlöf (best book club books of all time .txt) đ
- Author: Selma Lagerlöf
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She knew that it must be he. She had never before had such wild fancies. She had always been thinking of him, but she had never felt that he was so near her that he took care of her. The only thing she longed for was that he himself should come, for of course he would come some day. It was impossible that he should not come. In these avenues he had left behind part of his soul.
Summer went, and autumn; Christmas was drawing near.
âMiss Ingrid,â said the old housekeeper one day, in a rather mysterious manner, âI think I ought to tell you that the young master who owns Munkhyttan is coming home for Christmas. In any case, he generally comes,â she added, with a sigh.
âAnd her ladyship, who has never even mentioned that she has a son,â said Ingrid.
But she was not really surprised. She might just as well have answered that she had known it all along.
âNo one has spoken to you about him, Miss Ingrid,â said the housekeeper, âfor her ladyship has forbidden us to speak about him.â
And then Miss Stafva would not say any more.
Neither did Ingrid want to ask any more. Now she was afraid of hearing something definite. She had raised her expectations so high that she was herself afraid they would fail. The truth might be well worth hearing, but it might also be bitter, and destroy all her beautiful dreams. But from that day he was with her night and day. She had hardly time to speak to others. She must always be with him.
One day she saw that they had cleared the snow away from the avenue. She grew almost frightened. Was he coming now?
The next day her ladyship sat from early morning in the window looking down the avenue. Ingrid had gone further into the room. She was so restless that she could not remain at the window.
âDo you know whom I am expecting today, Ingrid?â
The young girl nodded; she dared not depend upon her voice to answer.
âHas Miss Stafva told you that my son is peculiar?â
Ingrid shook her head.
âHe is very peculiarâ âheâ âI cannot speak about it. I cannotâ âyou must see for yourself.â
It sounded heartrending. Ingrid grew very uneasy. What was there with this house that made everything so strange? Was it something terrible that she did not know about? Was her ladyship not on good terms with her son? What was it, what was it?
The one moment in an ecstasy of joy, the next in a fever of uncertainty, she was obliged to call forth the long row of visions in order again to feel that it must be he who came. She could not at all say why she so firmly believed that he must be the son just of this house. He might, for the matter of that, be quite another person. Oh, how hard it was that she had never heard his name!
It was a long day. They sat waiting in silence until evening came.
The man came driving a cartload of Christmas logs, and the horse remained in the yard whilst the wood was unloaded.
âIngrid,â said her ladyship in a commanding and hasty tone, ârun down to Anders and tell him that he must be quick and get the horse into the stable. Quickâ âquick!â
Ingrid ran down the stairs and on to the veranda; but when she came out she forgot to call to the man. Just behind the cart she saw a tall man in a sheepskin coat, and with a large pack on his back. It was not necessary for her to see him standing curtsying and curtsying to recognise him. But, butâ âShe put her hand to her head and drew a deep breath. How would all these things ever become clear to her? Was it for that fellowâs sake her ladyship had sent her down? And the man, why did he pull the horse away in such great haste? And why did he take off his cap and salute? What had that crazy man to do with the people of this house?
All at once the truth flashed upon Ingrid so crushingly and overwhelmingly that she could have screamed. It was not her beloved who had watched over her; it was this crazy man. She had been allowed to remain here because she had spoken kindly of him, because his mother wanted to carry on the good work which he had commenced.
The Goatâ âthat was the young master.
But to her no one came. No one had brought her here; no one had expected her. It was all dreams, fancies, illusions! Oh, how hard it was! If she had only never expected him!
But at night, when Ingrid lay in the big bed with the brightly-coloured hangings, she dreamt over and over again that she saw the student come home. âIt was not you who came,â she said. âYes, of course it was I,â he replied. And in her dreams she believed him.
One day, the week after Christmas, Ingrid sat at the window in the boudoir embroidering. Her ladyship sat on the sofa knitting, as she always did now. There was silence in the room.
Young Hede had been at home for a week. During all that time Ingrid had never seen him. In his home, too, he lived like a peasant, slept in the menservantsâ quarters, and had his meals in the kitchen. He never went to see his mother.
Ingrid knew that both her ladyship and Miss Stafva expected that she should do something for Hede, that at the least she would try and persuade him to remain at home. And it grieved her that it was impossible for her to do what they wished. She was
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