For Better Or Worse Payne, Jodi (10 best novels of all time TXT) 📖

toaster honey,” Kathleen shouted to him over the general din of conversation. Robert grunted back at her and pulled a carton of milk out of the fridge from which he drank directly while frying up a couple of eggs. Kathleen looked positively mortified. I looked at Julie and she ginned

at me. Julie had once told me that Robert was a very talented potter, but that he chose banking because it paid the bills better. She and Robert were close, I knew that, and now I could see why.

After about an hour it was decided that we should move into the living room, where the Christmas tree had been erected by the house staff the day before, to open presents. The kids were summoned and they immediately began tearing into gifts.

Julie and I had promised not to spend a lot on each other, so she gave me toasty slippers from L.L. Bean, a pair of cozy-looking mittens that she had knitted herself, and Katherine Hepburn’s biography. I gave her toe socks, an organic perfume, and a gift certificate to her favorite spa for a day. She got upset that I’d spent more on her than she had on me, so with a grin, I whispered into her ear the numerous ways in which she could make it up to me.

Julie’s parents exchanged gifts as well. Kathleen got Gareth a fancy humidor for his cigars and Gareth gave her sapphire earrings and a matching sapphire and diamond bracelet. Kathleen gave Julie a fat American Express Gift Check, and I thought it was sad that she didn’t know Julie well enough to realize that Julie would rather have a ten dollar gift that her mother had picked out with Julie in mind, than a thousand dollar check. Julie frowned at Kathleen, but quickly covered it with a smile, thanked her politely, and put the check away.

“Hang on Julie, sweetie, I’ve got something for you, too.” Gareth stood up and retrieved a box from next to the tree. He nodded seriously to Julie as he handed it over. “These are for those kids of yours, the ones you said couldn’t afford them,” he told her, looking uneasy with the whole process of gift-giving, but hopeful. The box was full of scientific calculators for Julie’s students.

He hadn’t wrapped it, but it didn’t matter; apparently Gareth actually listened when Julie spoke to him on the phone. I knew I’d liked him.

While waiting nervously for a response from Julie, Gareth said, “Education is the most important thing we can give our children.”

Julie stared at her father with wide eyes and I realized that Gareth was telling her a great deal more with those words than ‘every kid should have a calculator’. Julie was a teacher by choice, by calling, and apparently Gareth shared her convictions and didn’t think she was a fuck-up after all. Julie burst into grateful tears and threw her arms around his neck, and he gave her a thousand-watt smile.

The hordes arrived around four, along with caterers and waiters in black and white, all ready to serve the McHugh family their holiday dinner. There were cousins, aunts, uncles, a gaggle of kids and even a couple of dogs. There was also a great deal of wine and so I don’t recall anyone’s name.

Julie got swept away by family and dinner wasn’t until seven so I went exploring. The house was huge, and I didn’t care much for Kathleen’s taste, but the view was still breathtaking. I sipped my wine and ducked my head into bedroom after bedroom before giving up on the third floor. The second was the main floor where everyone was congregating and I wanted to avoid crowds so I headed down to the first. Gareth’s study was on this floor and I found Robert there talking on his cell phone and punching keys on his computer. I hope I never have to work so hard that I can’t take a holiday off.

Down the hall was a very masculine looking game room with a pool table and darts. It smelled faintly of cigars. Next door I discovered Andrew. He was hanging out alone and playing video game. I leaned in the door and watched for a bit, then got a bit bolder and flopped on the couch beside him.

“All the other kids are upstairs,” I offered.

“Uh huh. That’s why I’m down here.”

“Ah, I see. Too much?”

Andrew nodded. “Too crazy.”

I watched him play for a while. “You’re good at this game, huh?”

“I have it at home. I play it all the time. My friend Jim is better, he’s at like the fifth level.”

“Wow.” I had no idea what the fifth level meant, but Andrew was impressed so I decided I should be. We didn’t say anything more for a long while. I guess I was tired because I nearly dozed off watching him play. Finally, I was startled awake again by his voice.

“When did you figure out you liked girls?” Andrew asked me.

“Uh,” I sat up, blinking myself awake. “What?”

“You like girls right? You’re Aunt Julie’s girlfriend?”

“Well, yes. I am Julie’s girlfriend.” I prefer lover, or even partner, but I wasn’t going to get into all of that with an eleven-year old. Frankly, I didn’t want to get into any of it at all. I looked around to see if by any chance there was someone who was actually related to this kid that could rescue me, but we were still alone.

“Yeah, so when did you figure out you like girls?”

“Um…” Fuckityfuckfuckfuck. I started searching my arsenal of avoidance tactics. Excuse myself the bathroom, point at something shiny… ah! Answer a question with a question. “Well, when did _you _ figure out that you liked girls?”

“I’ve always liked girls,” Andrew said, trying to sound smooth. He was still playing his video game.

“Oh?”

“Girls have boobies. Like Angelina Jolie.”

Ms. Jolie does indeed have nice boobies. I felt as I’d just entered the Twilight Zone, but I couldn’t argue with the kid. “Yes,” I said. “Yes,