Four-Letter Words Evans, Gabrielle (best detective novels of all time .TXT) 📖

“Don’t,” Zasha chided as he nuzzled his cheek against Thane’s palm. “You have that look you get when you think I’m being condescending, but that’s not it at all.” He stepped closer, and the tension drained from his shoulders. “Believe it or not, I get it. I’m trying to help, but I feel like I just keep making things worse.”

“You’re not—”

“I wasn’t finished.” Placing two fingers to Thane’s lips, Zasha glared at him. “I didn’t mean to say that you’re stupid or overemotional. I meant that you are so worried about making me happy that you don’t stop to think about yourself.”

“I shouldn’t have gotten ups—”

“I’m not finished,” Zasha repeated. “You think I don’t want you, which is absurd. It kills me every time I have to say no.” He arched his hips, rubbing his erection against Thane’s thigh as though proving his point. “You can’t imagine the things I’ve fantasized about doing to you, but I’m afraid of what will happen when I finally let go of that control.”

“Are you finished now?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Pressing his lips together, Thane bit the inside of his cheek to stop his grin. He wouldn’t win any affection for pointing out how much it turned him on when Zasha’s temper flared. “Please continue.”

“Thane, you aren’t strong enough yet. Notice, I said yet.” He arched one eyebrow, like he was daring Thane to argue with him. “It’s not a knock at your manhood. It’s a fact, and I won’t do anything to jeopardize your recovery. I wish you could understand that.”

“I do understand, but sometimes, my dick and my head get into an argument, and my dick overrules all that rational thinking.” He had no excuse for his anger, and his stomach knotted with guilt. His insecurities were his to deal with, caused by circumstance, not Zasha. The man had done nothing but support him, putting Thane’s needs before his own. “I just wish you could see me as more than I am.”

“You idiot.” Wrapping his arms around Thane’s midsection, Zasha held him tight and stretched up to kiss his lips. “My eyesight is just fine. You’re sick, Thane, not incapable. I know this.”

“Then let me give you something,” he practically begged. “Let me take care of you.”

Zasha shook his head and sighed. “You’re not listening to me. I hate those damn blood bags, but I tolerate them because I won’t take what your body can’t afford to give.”

Thane was listening. Zasha just wasn’t saying anything he wanted to hear. “Fine. Then let me give you something else.” Insinuating one hand between them, he palmed Zasha’s hard cock through his boxers and squeezed. “I’m not going to break into pieces and blow away, Zash.”

Dropping his forehead to Thane’s shoulder, Zasha groaned and rocked into his hand. “Gods, I want to. I can’t describe how much I want that, but I can’t.”

“Why? Give me one good reason.”

“For a vampire, the desire to feed during sex is almost compulsory. Emotions and instincts run high, and I don’t know if I’d be able to stop—not before I did some real damage to your red cell count.”

Growling in frustrated surrender, Thane let his hand fall away and nodded in concession. “You’re not going to be able to hide behind those excuses forever.”

“They’re not excuses,” Zasha argued. “They’re legitimate concerns.” Backing away to create some distance between them, he pushed one hand through his short hair and huffed. “There’s something else we need to talk about, though.”

“Well, that sounds ominous. Are you leaving me for the UPS guy?”

Zasha didn’t laugh at his joke, which only fueled his suspicion that he wasn’t going to like this discussion. “I need to go back to Snake River.” Zasha looked him straight in the eyes, unsmiling and unblinking. “I have responsibilities that I’ve been neglecting.”

“Yeah, see, that’s not going to work for me.”

Thane would gladly follow the guy anywhere he wanted to go, but he had responsibilities of his own. Zasha wasn’t the only one waiting for his strength to return. A lot of people were counting on him to journey into the unforgiving world of Purgatory to reclaim the soul of their brother, Mikko. Of course, they first had to find Mikko’s body before he went stumbling around in the dark looking for lost souls.

“I had a feeling you were going to say that.” Zasha’s cheeks puffed out as he exhaled. “Look, I’m not saying that I’m leaving today.”

“No, you’re not.” They had a lead on where Mikko was being held, and everyone was holding their breath, hoping it would come to something more than a wild goose chase. “I can’t leave, not now. I can’t just abandon my family, but I can’t be without you, either.”

It didn’t matter that Zasha couldn’t remember him. Thane recalled every detail of their previous life together, and he wanted that time back. He couldn’t reclaim those missing years, but he wasn’t going to miss a single opportunity to make new memories.

Zasha stared at him for a long time before he finally shook his head and pushed up on his toes for another kiss. “I don’t know what to do, Thane. I have a job and a life in Snake River, but I can’t be without you, either.” His gaze held a hint of desperation, but he just smiled and stroked Thane’s cheek. “Raith and October will be here tomorrow. I’ll talk to Leader Tuesday and see if there is a way for me to get some work done from here.”

“I know I’m not being fair, and I’m sorry.” Things would get better, but until they did, Thane intended to keep his mate close and protected. “I don’t deserve you.” He knew it. He’d always known it. Every day, he was a little more grateful that Zasha hadn’t figured it out yet. “Thank you, Zasha.”

His lips stretched a little wider as he nuzzled against the side of Thane’s throat. “You know