Clutch Hit Faith O'Shea (red queen free ebook txt) 📖

was getting as many texts from the team as she was. But…

She had to get into work mode, stay busy, outrun the swirling emotions that were close on her heels. It was the only thing that would keep her on course.

After taking a deep breath, she admitted, “Can’t dwell on it now. Too much to do.”

She geared into warp speed, leaving Casey behind with her mouth hanging open to check in at the clubhouse, flittering in and out so quickly no one had the chance to engage with her. She checked in with the ticket sales coordinator, showing no pleasure that they’d sold out. She was running back and forth between her office and other areas of the stadium, not taking a breath for fear she’d sit down and bawl her eyes out.

She was a bundle of energy when her father dropped in to say hello right before the first pitch, skittering around like a chicken with its head chopped off.

“Hey Allie girl, you ready for your first win?”

He stopped in his tracks and stared.

“What the hell has you in such a lather?”

“Lots to do.”

“I’m your father, remember? I know you. This isn’t your normal behavior the day of a game.”

He was right. She was usually cool as a cucumber, fresh as a daisy… You’re going ’round the bend with all these silly idioms.

When he said, “I talked to Mateo—” she cut him off without a backward glance. “Don’t care. Gotta go.”

She spun on her heel and ran down the concourse and down the steps, heading for the food court. She wasn’t hungry but needed another can of Coke. Maybe Red Bull. Coffee? Something that would keep her from standing still.

“Allie.”

It was Casey’s voice calling from behind, her footsteps hurried in order to catch up.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You haven’t stayed in one place for more than a few minutes.”

“If I stop…”

There was a hitch to her voice that Casey couldn’t have missed. When she felt the arm around her waist, she went limp.

“Dad is looking for you. He has a couple of questions, but I’ll tell him I couldn’t find you. You have to talk to Mateo before you make any rash decisions.”

Her laugh bordered on hysteria.

“Rash decisions? I married a man who I knew less than a week. What can be rasher than that?”

She’d married him for all the wrong reasons. It had been lust that had consumed her, not love. You couldn’t love someone if you didn’t trust them. And she trusted so few. And those few had earned it over years, by proving she could.

Casey pulled her to a corner of the underground tunnel where they could talk without any witnesses to her meltdown.

“You, yourself, told him part of his job was mingling with the crowd. You can’t get mad at him for following your instructions.”

“I didn’t tell him to fawn over the women.”

“I saw no fawning.”

Allie glanced up and met her friend’s eyes. “What were you doing watching them?”

“Look, I’m dealing with my own issues. How can you help me, if you’re fucked up over this?”

Trying to convince herself, she said confidently, “I’m not. I’m gearing up to make a change.”

“That reminds me of Mario Super Cart. Have you ever played?”

She shook her head.

“At the beginning of the game, there are two cars, wheels spinning as they wait for take-off. They’re revving up for the race ahead. Is that what you’re doing? Spinning wheels, burning rubber, getting ready to run?”

“Like I said, I can’t do this. I can’t relax if I think he’s going to—”

“Do what Steve did? He’s so not Steve. If Mattie isn’t with you, he’s thinking about you.”

“He certainly wasn’t thinking about me when he had his arms around those women.”

Casey was shaking her head. “I never thought I’d say this, but you need to get over yourself. They have fans and you’re going to have to deal with that. Don’t you think my dad had his fair share of women hanging on him any chance they got? But he never once gave any woman other than my mother his love. You have that, Allie. You have his love.”

“I don’t know that. He’s never said…”

“Yeah, we’ll maybe that’s because he’s not sure of you, either. Almost everyone who knows you thinks you’re with him because of the team, and I’m not sure they’re being as secretive about their opinions as they could be.”

Casey grasped her by the shoulders and went nose-to-nose with her.

“And one more thing to chaw on while you’re in this mood. You never let Steve in. You’re good about keeping those walls up. I know it has to do with your mother. Shit, I’d probably have the same kind of doubts about someone leaving but you opened the door with Mattie. You let him in, which tells me you love him. Maybe you could get around to telling him one of these days. See what he says.”

No way was she going there. There’d be nothing worse if she actually expressed it in words and got no response. Yes, there would. He could tell her they were finished.

There was a roar from the crowd, and both heads jerked up to the watch on the screen that hung from the rafters. Mateo had just hit a home run and he was running around the bases, Rique slightly ahead of him. The score was two-nothing in the bottom of the third. Reid being Reid, had kept the opposing team from getting more than a single. If she knew Mac, he’d be taking the ball away soon whether Reid wanted to give it up or not.

How had she missed three innings? She was usually glued to her seat, keeping track of everyone’s ups, fieldwork, chemistry.

She was about to say something when she noticed Casey’s eyes still focused on the monitor. Seb was up at bat and she saw longing as deep as her own. Letting go her demons, she stood quietly by her friend’s side until Seb had flown out and