Murder in the Mix Boxed Set 28-30: Cozy Mystery Addison Moore (the reading strategies book .txt) 📖

Carlotta takes a breath. “Why do you think I didn’t bring Harry? I know this bunch. Things are gonna get messy, Lot. I’d stamp your lip prints all over his face and collar if I were you.”

Flo shakes her head. “Not gonna help. Half the women here aren’t even interested in a man until he’s taken. You’ll just up his value.”

A dark chuckle rumbles through Everett’s chest. “Don’t worry, Lemon. I’ve only got eyes for you.”

Flo laughs at the thought. “Oh sweetie, your eyes are nice, but they’re the last thing this crowd is after.”

Flo leads the way, and soon we’re taken to a round table in the back buzzing with women with matching long dark hair, furry lashes, bright painted lips, and matching inch-long nails. Four large pizzas sit between them, and dotting the center of the table is a ceramic replica of the Pope’s head in a glass box. Seems about right.

Both Cat and Connie Canelli look up and wave.

“Spider’s here!” Cat announces to the crowd. “Make room. We’ve got guests.”

No sooner does she say the words than the three of us are seated to Cat’s left.

Without thinking, I end up ensconced between Carlotta and Everett, leaving the women to Everett’s right free to paw and pet him, and believe me, about four brunettes have wasted no time in getting right down to it.

Three seats down from him is Lorena, and next to her sits her bestie Donata and we all share amicable greetings.

“So glad you’re here,” Connie says. “We were just picking out the duds for Flo’s big day.”

Flo slaps her hands together and gives a little hop. “With Connie in charge, there might be hope for me yet.”

“Here are the looks we’ve got planned.” Connie plucks a gold sequin gown from her lap and holds it up for us all to see.

No sooner am I blinded by the glitzy accouterment than Flo lets out a deafening groan like only the dead can do.

“There’s no way in hell she’s planting me in the ground looking like an Oscar.” Flo stalks over and bunches up the fabric in her fist. “What the heck? This is nothing but glorified aluminum. Tell them it’s a no-go or I’m going to flip a table.”

Carlotta shakes her head. “You can’t bury the kid in that. It’s too flashy. You gotta go with something timeless, something mellow.” She looks to Flo. “Something black?”

The entire table groans in unison, as does Flo.

“No dark colors,” Flo is quick to insist. “I want pink—hot pink and I want Nona Nina’s tiara. She always said I could have it, and I’m taking it with me.”

Carlotta looks my way, and I shrug.

She clears her throat. “I bet Angel Face would look really good in a nice bright pink. And do you know what pairs well with bullet wounds? Nona Nina’s tiara.”

Good grief. Everett and I exchange a look. The only thing that pairs well with bullet wounds is insanity, and tonight we’re eating it by the heap full.

The table breaks out into moans and grumbles.

“See here, Spider”—Cat has that no-nonsense look in her eye—“we’re not entertaining pink ’cause she was killed in that color. And Nona Nina’s tiara is off-limits. Once Flo bit the dust, she was no longer in the running for that intricate piece of Italian artwork. It’s been in the family for generations. There’s no way the diamonds stop here. Besides, it won’t work with the bouffant hairdo I’ve got planned for her.”

“Did she just say bouffant?” Flo’s entire being turns an alarming shade of red. “The woman hates me.” Flo lets out an egregiously loud scream that causes both Everett and me to sit up straight.

“Lemon? I think we should leave.”

“This is my courtroom, Judge Baxter,” I tell him. “And just like you refused to dismiss me from yours, you’re not getting out of mine either.”

The bodies around us cease to move, and every conversation stops on a dime.

Then slowly an applause builds around me as the women all look my way with wonder in their eyes.

“See here?” Cat nods my way. “All of you alley cats can learn a thing or two from Spider and her spawn. You don’t take any junk from your man no matter how important he may be. You lay down the law, and they like it.”

Carlotta chuckles at the thought. “Don’t worry, Sexy. You can lay down the law once you get her behind closed doors tonight.”

A silent laugh bounces through me. “Only if he’s in that bubble bath with me.”

Another round of applause goes off, and the women pawing Everett all sigh in unison at the thought of taking a bubble bath with him.

There’s nothing better than a bubble bath with Everett, except maybe a bubble bath with—

“Noah!” I say just as he gives my shoulder a squeeze.

“What’s going on?” He flashes those dimples, and the table sucks in a collective breath.

“Dibs!” about three different women shout at once.

“No can do,” Carlotta shouts back. “This is my Lot Lot’s side-piece.”

A collective groan explodes around us, and suddenly those three vixens who were pawing at Everett are now giving me the evil eye. And now I totally get why that works.

Carlotta bounces over, and Noah is quickly seated to my left. I take up his hand, too, in the event Flo has more to complain about. It’s much easier for them to hear her than for me to translate.

“Noah, what on earth are you doing here?” I ask as Cat Canelli herself encourages us to have at the pizza before yelling at the waitress to keep ’em coming.

He shrugs. “I took a pizza over to your place, and Evie snatched it before booting me out the door. Did you know she was having a party?”

Everett growls, “Why am I not surprised that study group morphed into a club scene?”

“It’s probably just a few extra friends,” I say, hoping that it’s true.

Carlotta snickers. “Don’t worry, Lot. I’ve got the liquor under lock and key.