The Amish Teacher's Dilemma and Healing Their Amish Hearts Patricia Davids (best self help books to read TXT) 📖

breathed a little sigh for emphasis. Her voice sounded jolly and she was smiling. He stared at her for several seconds, wishing she wasn’t so cheerful all the time. It made it harder not to like her.

“Are you finished teaching Sam for the night?” he asked, turning back to the stove.

He had just finished frying several ground beef patties without burning them and planned to cover them with hot cream of mushroom soup. It was called poor man’s steak and had been a staple from his childhood. A baked potato, string beans and canned pears would round out the meal. He even had whipped up some chocolate pudding for dessert. Sam would like that.

“Ja, Sam does better every day,” she said. “He’s made a tremendous amount of progress. I’m even hopeful he’ll speak his part out loud for the end-of-year program. He’s told me he wants to. I just hope he isn’t too nervous when the time comes.”

She stepped over to the stove and watched him whisk the mushroom gravy around in the meat drippings. He thought about inviting her to stay for supper but decided against it. For some reason, this woman made him feel nervous. He couldn’t think clearly when she was standing so near. Besides, they were both single and it was getting late. She needed to go home. Right now.

Lifting the pan, he set it on a hot pad in the middle of the table. Alice would have poured it into a bowl with a ladle and made their meal as dignified as possible. But he didn’t have time for such nonsense. After supper, he must return to the barn. His road horse had thrown a shoe so he couldn’t take Sam to school that morning. He needed to use the animal out in the fields tomorrow, which meant the shoe must be replaced tonight. He really needed to buy some draft horses. Then he wouldn’t have to use his road horse in the fields.

He reached for a dish towel to wipe his hands...a nervous gesture to give himself something to do. Again, he glanced at Becca, expecting her to leave. “Was there something else you needed?”

She shook her head, meeting his gaze. “Ne, I just wanted to apologize for the harsh words I said to you a couple of days ago. I fear I’m too bold at times and may have caused offense and that wasn’t my intention.”

“I’m sorry too.” He spoke the words before he could think to stop himself. Their argument had been on his mind since it happened and he wanted to clear the air.

Her expression softened and she smiled. “Danke. I know you’re doing your best with Sam and you were worried about him that day. Fear can cause us to say things we don’t really mean. But you’re doing a really gut job with him.”

Her insight impressed him. It was as if she could see deep inside of him and knew exactly what he was thinking. The only other person to do that had been Alice.

“It’s kind of difficult for me to admit when I’m wrong,” he said. “I was raised by a rather stern vadder. He was always right even when he was wrong. He was a gut man but very stubborn. There was little laughter in my home when I was growing up. I’ve tried not to be that way. My wife taught me that apologies make us stronger. I didn’t mean to come across as unfeeling toward my sohn.”

He spoke the words slowly, surprised at how painful it was for him to make the admission. Although his father had taught him a strong work ethic and how to farm, most of the memories from his youth were not pleasant. And he wasn’t sure why he was telling Becca this. She was way too easy to confide in. Too easy to be with. But he knew in his heart of hearts that he must apologize to her. He was trying so hard to start anew. For some reason, it was highly important to him not to have conflict with Sam’s teacher. Mostly because she’d been good to him and Sam and they owed her a debt of gratitude. But he sensed there was another reason too. Something he didn’t understand.

“Ach, just because the horse bucks you off doesn’t mean you sell the horse,” she said. “The Savior taught us to have a soft heart filled with humility. And when we are filled with His love, we are quick to forgive. But it can still be a hard thing to do. For all of us.”

Hmm. Again, her insight surprised him. Just like Alice, it seemed that Becca was teaching him some rather difficult lessons. Her patient reminder of the Savior helped him realize he could learn a lot from this good woman.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, would you be willing to teach a fire safety class at school next week?” she asked suddenly.

Jesse stared at her, his mouth dropping open in surprise. Because of his past, he wasn’t certain he felt up to the task. He couldn’t do it. Could he?

“I... I’m not sure I’m the right person to do that,” he said, trying not to sound insecure.

“Why not? You’re a certified firefighter. It must have taken a lot of study and effort to master that skill. You must be very gut at it. And it’s an interesting profession we can highlight for the kinder. You’re a gut example of a vadder who has reached out to help his community.”

He didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t feel like a good father. How could he explain to this dedicated woman that he hadn’t been able to fight fire ever since he’d lost his wife and daughters? Even now, he hated to add kindling to the stove in his own home. Every time he saw the flames, he thought about losing Alice and their girls.

“Do you feel reluctant because of how your familye died?” she asked, her voice achingly soft