Geek Mafia: Mile Zero by Rick Dakan (reading tree txt) 📖
- Author: Rick Dakan
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“Why do people always want to beat something out of us with bats or clubs?” Paul asked Chloe.
“I know, right?” she said. “It’s weird. It never happened to me before I met you.”
“I guess I bring out the inner vandal in people.”
“Not in everyone. Just in the assholes.”
“Ha. Ha. Ha,” said Eddie. “Very funny.” He looked around the room, a triumphant, malicious grin on his face. “Let’s see how long you can keep laughing while…”
Paul and Chloe didn’t wait to listen to his bullshit. They were already running for the door, slamming it open and lurching out into the street. Good thing Jeanie hadn’t locked the door.
CHLOE sprinted up Front Street back toward Duval, Paul pounding along a few paces behind her. Her morning jogs were paying off, and Paul’s late night gaming and drinking sessions were showing. He was puffing hard but kept pace with her step for step thanks to the training regime Sandee had been putting him through. They only had a few blocks to go, so she was confident he’d make it. A quick glance over her shoulder revealed Eddie and his boys hot on their trail, but still a good block behind them. She didn’t see Jeanie or Amelia anywhere.
They crossed over Duval and kept on Front Street. A few drunks winding their way back to their hotel stopped to hoot and holler at them as they ran by, urging them to go faster. One of them threw a necklace of plastic beads at Chloe, but it sailed high above her head. Another block and they were coming up on the corner of Simonton, but before she reached the intersection, she veered hard to her right into a clean, welllit courtyard. To her left was the locked gate that protected The Adult Experience, which sold upscale porn and sex toys along with sexy little outfits. Straight ahead was her destination: The Pirate Experience, an interactive museum and tourist trap.
She and Paul skidded to a stop at the door to the museum. She yanked it open, and Paul dove forward into the darkness. She waited with the door open, and looked back toward the street just in time to see Eddie’s gang running past. Eddie was oblivious, but one of the other two saw her and shouted for the rest to stop. Appearing to be in a panic, she ducked inside after Paul and let the door close slowly behind her.
The Pirate Experience was one of Key West’s newer attractions, the brainchild of a semi-famous self-help guru who’d decided that he wanted to open a pirate museum in Key West a couple years ago. Although the connection between self-help and piracy eluded Chloe, she had to admit that he’d done a good job. Of course Key West loved its pirate stories, and so did Chloe. The museum, no doubt inspired by Disney’s own multimedia buccaneer successes, capitalized on the local pirate culture and the tourists’ desire to be inside somewhere with air conditioning and high tech displays.
Although small compared to something like the massive Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World, the museum featured the same kind of atmosphere, with fake rock walls made from hardened foam and a series of display rooms dressed up to look like the streets of some 17th-century colonial town or the interior of a pirate ship. Many of the rooms featured interactive video displays and even animatronic pirates that would act out mini-scenes of corsair history. Unlike a Disney ride, the Pirate Experience also featured a bunch of real museum artifacts, from cutlasses, cannon balls and an actual treasure chest to old maps, flags and pirate paraphernalia.
Since it wasn’t normally open at four in the morning, most of the displays and robot pirates were currently turned off, and the only light came from the red glow of the emergency exit signs scattered throughout. Chloe turned to her left and ducked through one of these doors, finding herself in a dark hallway. She heard voices up ahead and moved toward them. She came to a door and swung it open to reveal Winston, Bee and Paul standing in front of four TV screens and a control panel full of switches. It was like being back at the house, only with a lot less screens and slightly more pirate shit.
“They’re right behind me,” Chloe said as she moved over to stand next to Paul.
“I know,” said Bee. “They’re at the door.”
The small monitor was divided into four quadrants, each displaying a different exterior camera view. One of these views showed the front door, which Eddie was opening carefully while his two lackeys stood ready with their bats. Chloe glanced over at the other screens, which were almost completely dark. “What’s up with the interior cameras?” she asked.
“No night vision on them,” said Bee. “This whole set up is really cheap. My guess is they only put in the minimum that the insurance company demanded to cover all that pirate stuff.”
“Well, we’ll hit the lights as soon as they get a little further in,” said Paul. “Then we’ll know right where they are.” His hand was poised over a row of buttons, each marked with a different room name and number. They’d gotten into the museum thanks to one of their regular party guests - a woman named Yolanda who worked at the museum and the porn shop. She’d been more than happy to earn an extra $1000. From their current perch, they had control over all the displays in the museum, from the lights to the robo-pirates. If only they could make the pirates attack or something: that would be a much more straightforward plan than the one Paul had come up with. Like all of his plans, it was complicated and theatrical and a little (ok, a lot) off the wall. But when they worked, they worked brilliantly. When they worked.
They all studied the screens closely, and Chloe was able to make out a figure as it passed directly underneath one of the exit signs. Paul noticed it too and said, “Perfect.” He flipped a switch on the board, turning on the lights in one of the chambers three rooms away from where Eddie and his guys were. If they’d turned the light on where Eddie was, he might have freaked out, guessing that Paul and Chloe were somehow in control of the museum. But with the light going on in another room, Eddie was more likely to assume that she and Paul and screwed up or had given themselves away. Paul’s little trick seemed to work as Eddie made his way straight toward the light.
The room where Paul had turned on the light was the largest and most impressive display in the museum. It featured a recreation of the final battle of Blackbeard aboard his flagship, Queen Anne’s Revenge. Designed to recreate the deck of that famous ship, the room was the only place in the museum that didn’t have any actual artifacts. Instead it featured an animatronic Blackbeard at one end, astride his poop deck with a pistol in one hand and a great, nasty cutlass in the other. His thick, course beard had the famous lit tapers in it, which glowed and smoked when the ‘bot was activated. At the other end of the room was the brave English captain Robert Maynard, who would eventually behead the dread pirate. Each had a few companions, pirates and pirate hunters who were also animatronic, although not as animated as their leaders. When the room was active, it ran through a five minute cycle of movement, smoke, and sound that simulated the final battle. Although the two robots never moved from their positions, they exchanged pistol fire and curses. Then the far wall, which usually showed a projected image of the sea and the North Carolina coast, would display a short series of video images that told the tale of this most famous of pirates.
Right now though, the room was quiet, lit by the various fake lanterns, torches and a dim glow from the projected coastal image on the wall. Chloe knew most of this from memory of the room rather than from what she could actually see. Just one black and white camera covered the room, and they could only watch it on one quarter of one TV screen. Bee was right; the security system here was cheap. She just hoped that the few additions they’d made would push them over the edge and pull them through.
On the screen she saw Eddie’s group move with care into the Blackbeard Room. From their body language she could tell that they were a little freaked out or at the very least confused by their surroundings. She turned and grabbed a golf bag from the corner. It held the tools she’d need to finish her part of the job, if indeed it came to that.
“I’m going to get in position,” she said.
“Be careful,” said Paul, although all his attention was focused where it should be - on the screens in front of him. She watched as he clipped a microphone to the collar of his shirt.
“Scare the fuck out of them, ok?” Chloe said.
Paul tore his eyes away from the screen, smiled at her and nodded. Then she ducked out of the room and into the darkness of the museum.
PAUL knew that they could’ve used any number of other locations to confront Eddie, including many that didn’t contain millions of dollars worth of antiques. He’d justified his choice of the Pirate Experience to the others by pointing out that the museum already had security cameras and a whole video display system they could use. In fact, he was just showing off. He wanted the most impressive, disorienting location he could find. This was his island, and he’d be damned if he’d let a punk like Eddie get the better of him on his turf. And Eddie was about to learn just how much of a home field advantage Paul and Chloe had.
Watching them on the screen, Paul had the customary wave of doubt that he always experienced at moments like this. But he’d learned to take the second thoughts in stride and even to think of them as a good omen for future success. He tapped a key on Bee’s laptop and the action began.
“Hello, Eddie,” he said into the microphone, which was in turn plugged into the PA system for the entire museum. His voice boomed through the halls, and he grinned as he saw all three men jump in astonishment. The wall projection changed as he spoke, transforming from a picture of the Carolina coast to a blurry vidcap of Eddie taken from the hidden cameras they’d used to spy on him at the party. The pic showed him laughing and drunk on the couch.
They’d hidden a couple microphones in the room, including one in Blackbeard’s beard, so Paul could hear Eddie’s reply through his earpiece. “What the fuck?” he asked.
Paul tapped a key on the laptop again, and the screen started to display a digital slideshow of images taken of Eddie through hidden cameras. Many were from the party, but others were from the bar where Chloe had first picked him up or shots taken in the street. The three men stared at the display, obviously not sure what was going on.
“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,” Paul continued. “Did you really think you could do anything in this town without me knowing about it?”
“Fuck you, Paul,” Eddie shouted at the screen. “Like I didn’t know you were watching me? I
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