Ranting Me by Lilly W. (best interesting books to read TXT) š
- Author: Lilly W.
Book online Ā«Ranting Me by Lilly W. (best interesting books to read TXT) šĀ». Author Lilly W.
Yet again my imagination takes over. Thatās not what happend. I was skiing at Cristity mountain in Bruce wisconsin. It was so much fun, then came the double black diamond. Fun. Sure iāve been skiing 4 times before, but never here and itās been a while. The hill wasnāt that bad when I was done. But it was in the twenty minutes I stood at the top of it. Yes twenty minutes. It took forever and then my friend pushed me down. Her name isā¦ā¦
You know, maybe thatās not important. Well, it starts with M. So thatās what I will call her. M is the best. But she wanted me to go down and so she made me. I will never forget it. But I didnāt hit the trees like I thought that I would. And all was good, but this year when we go, Iāll get her back. Watch out M, here I come.
Okay, Iām sorry I didnāt mean to sound like some creepy psycho.
ReplacementāYou are worthless.ā
āUgly *****.ā
āWhy canāt you die in a hole?ā
āGet away you ******.ā
āI canāt stand you.ā
āYou're not my kid, I donāt love you.ā
āYou will always be like her.ā
āWhy canāt you do anything right?ā
I have to deal with this every day of my life. I canāt do anything about it, if I say anything. She yells if my face. But now thatās normal.
When I go to school things are actually better. Sometimes we get together well, we laugh. Then there are times when all she does is glare at me, call me names and yell. I donāt understand.
Then there is her ārealā daughter. Since Iām not her ārealā daughter I donāt get treated the
same way ever. I have to do hard chores and she does not. I say anything and I get yelled at called names and punished. She screams at her and nothing happens. Sure she gets yelled at but thatās it.
The scary thing is, I donāt know what Iām going to do when I get older. Right now Iām 14. Soon I can get my license. Then a car.
I have no idea how Iām going to do that though. I donāt have any money, i mean none. The last time I looked I had $50. I canāt get a job, I have to stay home and do chores. I canāt do anything. And Iām not even sure she cares. I told her about it and she said it was my problem. But no, itās not only mine. Itās herās for not letting me get a job.
Sometimes I go to sleep, hearing the yelling of my parents. Right now they are going through a rough spot. And she blames it all on me.
āWe were fine before you came.ā
āYou should have never came here.ā
Harsh? Yeah. Sheās really good at blaming other people. For everything. Even if she did it there will be someone to blame.
Well everyone, except herself.
Sometimes I stay up late doing dishes. And when Iām out doing chores, my step sister will be on her tablet. Of course, thatās normal.
You know death is a serious thing. And yet I can sometimes say i would be okay if I died. Nobody would care. She would think that itās the best thing in the world. More than once sheās said she doesnāt want me. The only reason that I live with them is because I donāt have anywhere else to go.
I think that my friends would be the only ones that cared. And only some of them at that. But as soon as that person is no longer breathing? They were the best people in the world, and everything will be different without them. Bla, bla bla. They can just shove it up there *** for all I care.
Maybe they will notice me if Iām gone.
Okay, they kind of notice me. By they, I mean all the popular kids and stuff. Like I was saying, they only notice me when Iām in there group for work, or I have to present to the class.
When we first started school, some of them actually watched me. And she still does.
Itās not like Iām popular or pretty. So, I don't know what it is.
I have blond hair that goes past my shoulder. Probably by 5 or 6 inches. I have bright blue eyes, at least thatās what Iāve been told. I have a lot of freckles, normal skin. And glasses.
So yes, Iām a loser. And not attractive in anyway.
Sometimes I really hate life, I really do.
Itās that point when Iām tired and then something happens and then something else happens. And then Iām still at the bottom.
Okay, to get this strait. I am grateful for everything that she does. Iām not saying that I donāt care that she does stuff for me. Itās how she treats me.
I can't tell you how that all ended, not yet.
I canāt take it anymore.
I canāt just go to school and pretend like nothing happened. Like everything is fine, even though itās not.
I canāt go home and accept it.
Do you ever feel it was okay to die?
That ās how I feel. If I died right now, I would be okay. And I think that everyone else will to.
Like today, I went home and filled the dryer with clothes. But of course she said that I took too long. When my step sister was sitting on her bed.
I went to put my boots and got lost staring into space. I rolled my eyes and she yelled at me. Saying that I was worthless.
I hate it. I walk off to take a breath. I did not want to blow up on her. That would be really bad.
Again I got yelled at. She said that I was a worthless*****.
I cried, of course I did. She said that I was worthless. Then she yelled at me again. All I wanted was attention. Thatās what she said. I was crying for attention.
And if I told my dad, she would make my life a living hell. But she does that everyday. Every time she says that Iām ugly. Every time that I have to wake up knowing that I will never be enough.
When everytime you look in the mirror, you wish who you saw wasnāt you. And every time knowing that you should be different.
No matter what she has said, I still liked her.
Even though I know that she doesn't feel the same.
Iām sick of life. Knowing I will never be good enough.
Shamed SchoolShame. Itās the feeling when you know you did something wrong. When you know you have to change it, but canāt. Sometimes you know how to help and figure it out. But most of the time thatās not how it is. You lay in bed, stare at the wall and think about what is done. Then there are those that make a joke about it. They laugh and think itās funny. This happened just today. We found out that a is ānot wellā and automatically jumped to the conclusion that he quit.
Why is that? Is it because last year our grade made a teacher quit? Or is it because we want him to quit. But what if something was really wrong. Maybe heās in the hospital and where her laughing at him. Saying all these things that he did. Why would you be proud that you scared a teacher away? Is it your goal for them to not like shell lake because of you and what you do? You canāt be thankful that you can learn. There are many places around that world that donāt have the right to go to school. They canāt have teachers to scare away and be rude to. You shame this school every time you are sent to the office for something you did. Every Time you cheer when a teacher leaves. Every Time you canāt realize that you have the right to go to school. Iām not saying that I like school, because I would be lying. Iām just saying that everything that we do has a result, weather itās go or not, itās still there. Shaming us to tell the truth. To do something right. And sometimes you need shame to tell you what you're doing wrong.
This is true, all of it. And I really hated the school that I went to. I liked the teachers and some of the kids, but the school it self was stupid. I'm glad I got out of there
The Same
Do what you want to do
Be what you want to be
See what you want to see
But then you look at me
I donāt know what I feel
You know how to peel all the layers away
You know how to steal my heart
You just know how to make the deal
Why when I look to the sky I see your eyes
How is it that I never want to say bye
When all I can do is think of you when lying in bed
I care to share
That we would make a great pair
If you want to go there
Donāt be afraid to share
Do you feel that same
Or do you feel shame
Am i the one to blame
With all of my shame
Did you ever feel the same
I had a crush, of
Comments (0)