Poetry of the Ages by Kaitlin Chenoa Humphries (tools of titans ebook .txt) 📖

Is it that we are so concerned
with the sufferings of those in other countries
that we can't see the sufferings of the children around us?

Your own child gazes upon you
speaking dreams that they could possibly reach
but you don't hesitate to tear them down
then turn to help another child
in a world not our own.

Your child sits in tears and pain
just as poignant as the pain the others feel
yet you are blind to their troubles
blind to their pains
your eyes drawn to those you can't even touch.

As your child grows older
the resentment it brews
the pain of the love they never had
they keep trying to prove
trying to shine
yet you do not notice
or do not care.

Is it that because our children
don't suffer the chance of disease
or that they do not starve almost every day
that you turn your head and not care?

As your child cries
with the dreams that you so readily crushed
and yet you do not care
turn your eyes elsewhere.

So what is it on the outside
that distracts us from the pain inside
the suffering of those we don't know
becoming more important than those that we do.

The sorrow that we assume they feel
yet how could we know?
Through photos and clips?
They could be mildly happy
finding their own way to get by
yet we assume their pain
ignore those of our children.

On the inside we see nothing
on the outside we see it all
others becoming more important
as those close to us begin to fall.


Hidden Closet

She hold her bear tightly in her hand
she hides whenever the dark sets in
afraid of the monster that comes.

Six years old she has little understanding
of how the world officially works
but she knew this monster he was bad
and knew the things he did was wrong.

But what could she do to fight such a large being?
A monster that could toss her so easily.
And so she sits hidden in the closet
hugging her bear tightly seeking protection
as her bedroom door opens and the hall light floods in
and in the door way stands her mothers boyfriend.

This monster he walked into her room
quiet as a mouse
his eyes they roamed and in her mind
she could see the fire in the eyes.

Finally he'd lock on the cracked closet door
make his way over and open it
his large hand would reach in and grasp her.

She felt the urge to scream
but knew she better stay quiet
even her mind saw the danger
as the man laid her back down on the bed
and the true treason would commence.

This would happen for years
till finally at 16 she became pregnant with his kid
her mother and him now married
the monster was constantly in her life.

She did what she could to hide it
starved herself to keep from gaining weight
ate healthier and it hid the demon growing in her
the bastard child of the monster she was so afraid of.

Till finally her mind couldn't take it any longer
the idea of bringing a child by him into her world
for him to hurt and molest like her.
She hung herself using her door
thrashed until she breathed no more.

Saved her child and herself
but could have saved others
if she had spoken against the monster
if someone had noticed the little signs.

Like her refusal to be alone with the man
her fear of sitting next to him
of seeing him.

But no one noticed and no one cared
so instead she lays dead in a coffin
while the monster stayed free to continue his deeds.


Submissive Cutter

The knife slides across her skin
what is one more scar to hundreds?
She wants help with this cursed habit
yet no one is willing to help her.

Alone in her home she bleeds
alone in her home she weeps.
No one pays attention to her pain
or how pale she slowly became.

Till one day she found a place to work
a man whose demeanor was as closed as hers.
She listened and did all he said
never once did she talk out of turn.

Then one day in the office she went to cut
and his eyes burned into her back till she turned and saw
and put away the utensils she used to harm.
Next thing she knew he was yelling at mistakes
her typing errors unprofessional.

He told her no more cutting
the act was prohibited
and she quit just like he said.
But the itching was there
her fingers would twitch
till one day he took her into his office.

"Hands on the desk palms down" he said
she did as was told
and with a document before her began to read
as he slapped her in the ass bringing her the pain she needed.

And so finding something beyond cutting to give her that love
she made mistake after mistake wanting his pain.
Till one day she found she loved this man
and as an act of obedience sat for days
arms palm down on the desk feet planted on the floor
never did she move,
to eat
to read
to even use the restroom.

Three days of this she endured
till finally he came and swept her out the door.

Even a cutter can find their in between
though this one found hers with
what is known as dominant male.
She was his submissive to boss around
but she had found her place
and her scars stayed as they were
just scars on her body.


Haunted

Spent her life runnin
never stopping, never looking back.
With nightmares she found herself haunted
by the things she tried to ignore.

Depression was in her very core
she couldn't be happy for very long
always crying when left alone.

She hated small dark places
hated not having someone around
she was afraid of herself
her thought, her head.

People tried to help her
some spent 6 years trying to save her
but depression was rampant
Self-doubt was an everyday thing.

At nights when no one knew
she'd curl up into a ball
and finally let the past consume.

The stupid fool she let herself die
she could hide from her family
from her friends
but to those who truly cared
who looked deep within her
they could see her suffering, her pain.

The things she didn't want exposed
the things she wallowed in every day.
And those who were willing to try to help
who stuck by her with every depressive bout.
Would end with knowing she was finally okay.
But no one has yet to be so lucky
the girl still haunted by many things.

Easily stressed the fool curls up to cry
and the few that could help say they'd give up or hide.
She needed someone open
who didn't hide everything
who always kept who they were apparent
didn't keep her out with walls.

She needed a true rock
someone to count on every day
or her depression
the haunting sensation
would never go away.


The Fallen Knight

Darkness loomed over the fallen knight in white
his battle for his princess had lost.
His bright white armor now tattered to end dented
what he had come for was gone.

Traveling a world of darkness
now will to fight the beasts
he let the kingdom fall to ruins
as he hid away in his keep.

As years go on the young knight turned old
by magic that was not his own
he stared up at the darkened sky
tears falling from his eyes.

His heart pained for the princess
the one who he had thought his true.
Who had been lost to the darkness
that now seemed to consume him.

Then suddenly a light from above
he sees what seems an angel.
Blinking twice he takes another glance
a peasant girl, dancing and singing.

Her grace was one without care
her face was one of heaven
Golden hair touched by Midas himself.

Staring with eyes who could not believe
he watched her dance
watched her play and enjoy.
And through these actions he can't help but smile.

This peasant was no mere peasant
a goddess to be sure
powerful and beautiful she ran to the fallen knight.
Pulled him to his feet and he felt himself grow young again.

Dancing, screaming and laughing in joy
he felt the darkness in his heart lift
his Princess had not left him as he thought
he had need to find her once more
in a girl he would not have sought.

Taking up his rusted sword
he held it to the sky
the rust fell away in flakes
and his armor suddenly shined.

The fallen knight
was fallen no more
no darkness encompassed him.
He was a man of strength and honor
and a man now driven by love.


As He Sleeps

His breath tickles my neck as he sleeps
and I lay staring at a wall.
I feel him shift and my heart flutter
as his arms wrap around my waist.

I feel that warmth well up inside me
but then it dies as I think about what he said.
He only had so long to live...
at the least 5 years at the most, we did not know.

Things had just started
my dream had begun to build
and fate,
as it always does,
snatches that very precious thing from me.

I feel that fear grip me as I think of it
and twist to look at his sleeping face.
But the moment I see him I smile
and it feels no matter what
I can get through.

The fear is great
I feel it constantly around me
like a great white circling waiting to strike.
But it's kept at bay by his presence
his words and his smile.

He knows he only has so long
but he lives so much for himself and others.
He is a man of men
one of heart no other has seen
and one of steel.

As I stare upon him sleeping
I am encompassed with a feeling so pure
I see the dark black wings of a fallen angel
of a being so pure, yet so pained...
And I know
I can never let him go.


Le Sigh

I feel my heart skip a beat
when I hear your voice in my ears
I feel myself smiling
when you are near.

There is never a need for you to speak
never an uncomfortable silence
each others presence is all we need
to feel the passion between us.

Is this it?
Have I finally found the man for me?
Is this how love feels?

But...
I also know there is a limit to this happiness
his death as doctors’ say is not too far off.
He has less years than anyone.

But here I am
I cannot help but love him
and no matter his illness
his time to live
I feel I want to stay by him.

I am frightened that I cannot handle it
but then he pops onto cam
as we are now states apart
I watch him play an online game
and I smile as there is no speech.

All I can think about is when he comes home
I can't wait for the day I can curl up in his arms.
and