Gems by Gabrielle Bryant-Gainer (chrysanthemum read aloud txt) 📖

/> a gentle tear silently escapes my eye


Black and White


Light descends down
onto this fragmented window
I press my cheek upon the cold glass and imagine
these images fluttering away from me
I am somewhere sweet, wrapped in your shade and
dazed beyond
your repair
I am not this black and white project
that was created to inspire
I am free from these lines, edges that inflict
transparency
This not so fortunate girl who was adolescence's
fringe
and I cannot try to speak
Thoughts jumping around in this pretty fantasy
If only I could tell you through a cut up
photograph the depths that you'll never
see the casket where
my father sleeps in his riddled dream.

 


My Land

Malignant mountains shake
Beside my window they tower
And I am down on my knees
From within my head I hear a distant piano
Playing from deep below the shadows
Invisible fingers pinch my cord
And I am alone in the dark
It is still a tin can heart
Red goats feast upon my soul
As the hermits cloak my life in gloom
Slowly muttering like rainfall
And their voice throws off the storm
Cackling, like autumn she laughs
The sleeping earthworms resurface
In the soggy dew and grasslands
I am sleeping on pins and needles
It's so beautiful to you
Watching from the corners you can still
Breathe in everything black and blue
I need their embracing thunder
But there are rules that I am facing
I must be low and slink through the dark
Stabbing pins into my aching heart
I need a mirror so I can see myself go blind
Going insane is all about believing in mankind
my body uncovers and is seductively drained
as this ardent flame carries
the scent of murder on his lips
Pulling me through a world of ghosts
With just his fingertips

 


Two Holy Kings


Vishnu appeared one evening
As an eye of ruby red
To speak of many things
Most certainly to warn of death
Vishnu was there to calm the king
For his throne was to be taken
But the king flatly ignored Vishnu
As if Vishnu had not spoken
And the thunderous caves opened
For the lesson had done no good
This selfishness had led the king
To a promise of punishment
Lord Shiva, the fierce God
Appeared in such a flash
Imposing fear into King's heart
With a loud thundering crash
"Who claims to right the wrong?"
Lord Shiva, the mountain, said
Poking the king with his prong

 
Bathed with the ashes of the dead
Lord Shiva heard Vishnu's warning
Now the king deserved the worst
"From this day on your royal
Kingdom shall be forever cursed!"
"Oh Shiva, do not curse him
For he has done no wrong
His life was lived in splendor
And we, in his royal kingdom
Have bathed in riches vaster
Than any princess could know
Do not curse our father the King
For we love our highness so!"
Soon the King had wept
But Shiva would not reply
For the King owed a Karmic debt
That was far too great, too high
And so they wept for their king
Who took his final breath
As Shiva led the royal King
Into the realm death.


 


Fickled Thorns

my inner peace,
the fickled thorn
finding a place between the norm
we run and run run until the words entwine
but each one seems square and ostracized...I'm on
the fringe
How can we reach the stars when their is so much
distracting ours?
From the beauty of the moon
my inner peace
and a fickled thorn
I want you to know, the wild and submissive
The world beyond this gross habitat
Where lizards walk in silent reverie
This is insanity, fucking insanity
I want you to scream something different
Something that I can't hear,
but everything is wavering
Nothing is ever clear
I want to hurt you
Violence beats in my heart
Where the daggers twists in ruination
When a soul's been worn beyond repair

 
How do we turn love sour
When do we pick the morning's flowers?
I wish you knew me by name
But all you see is the same grey
I have become the self-sacrificial
I know things have become so...artificial
But that's life when you're down
Can't fight it, spin things around
See it in white, colors aren't clear
But nothing is beautiful to you dear
Where is that inner peace
The inner saving grace
No one knows the nonsense it grows
How do we fall in love now
When there is nothing to love
But these speckles of dust
running now, running away
Because you know down here
They don't come true
You know down here that
Dreams don't come true
Unless you've got some
Big air balloon...
Take this away
Take it away


 


Knowing You

Maybe everything will be alright
The tiredness and this petty fight
Parents yelling in the other room
Gets me feeling all this gloom
All the reasons I should be happy
And I continue to feel crappy
Is it depression, the drugs don't work
They usually make my eyes itch and my stomach
hurt
It may seem like self pity
I should just buck up, have faith
Get over it, snap out of it
Well that's just crap, it doesn't work that way
You want me to get on my knees and pray
To a God who doesn't answer, who is too far away
No I only hear this angry voice screaming my name
And life is just a game, I fought, it's still not the
same
People come and then they die
That makes me a little happier inside
To know that their as hopeless as me

 
And all this negativity
The sun is out and it's shining bright
My head hurts and I don't care to eat
My bones are thick, my hair is oily
I feel sick to my stomach and it's my birthday
My life is just not as it should be
I wallow in all this regret of what it should be
Proving myself to someone who doesn't care
And that's the reason that I'm even there


Yearn

His best friend had no reason to be such a sleaze
She always laughed like it was ok to be that way
He had overwhelming look about his face
She could not bare the pain, she learned to run away
She wanted an oasis all of her own
Somewhere she didn't have to call home she
couldn't go home
With picket fences and the cherry trees, then she
prayed
Who would answer the questions she had
He couldn't pray with the hands he wouldn't fold
For those he'd saved for someone else she'd said
He was rushing through time but never got far
She bought a ticket for the train and it took her from
there

 
Here in the dark I feel safe, I feel free to say hello
When the feelings all wonder at the beautiful plastic
so
Turn around, turn around, you can't say you caught
them now
I found out how you got to somewhere somehow
Such beauty, you are dying to be so far away from
here
I give you my light, you can have it today and say
She was a friend to everyone but me, for I
Found her a place deep that was void of reality


Inspired

My inspiration's gone and flown
Like a bird with big white wings
I fold my letter into my pocket
And hope this message carries
My muse has disappeared
I've searched along this dark path
Through lonely poet's eyes
Like Emily and Plath
I rise out of the waves
From the oceans of my sadness
They've swallowed my tears
And now I can't cry happiness

 
Although my throat is feeling dead
From all these longing words
I've tried to relate it to
I can only hope that I had inspired you


Red

Toss a wish into the well
Wishing a child is happy today
Wrap a sheet around her feet
And kiss the sun goodbye
She sees the light at the end
When the road turns to bend
And the colors all melt to one
That is brighter then just some
If one day she had spent it all alone
She'd trade it for one more day to scream
Those thoughts that trail away
And it doesn't seem to matter now
Somehow things get reversed
That's what happens when you're cursed
I guess I meant it when I said
Look, my luck was just as bad

 


Soldier Soldier

I hate the feeling of you crawling under my skin
You're in a secret chamber down in some place I
don't know
Surrounded by metal; in an emptiness you cry
Isolated soldier, why did you have to die?
Isolated soldier, why do I cry your tears?
Isolated soldier, why do you hang around here?
I love the feeling of you whispering under my
breath
Seeing double, images in my sleep, with that battle
cry death
You wanted to see me soldiering through
Don't despair soldier I will not die
Don't be sad for me, I will forgive you
I show no sign of weakness, I show no pain
I know the answer is mercy and compassion
You teach me those lessons, you show me it plain
I see them clearly, but you still frighten
Sometimes ghosts appear to us, in mysterious ways
Sometimes ghosts come to us for help, what can we
do but pray
That they will be set free, from the chains of their
past

 
That the nightmares will cease and that God can be
at peace
A tear falls from my eye
You act pretty evil but when you reach out to me
With one hand you grasp at divinity
I will be the angel in disguise, to carry the weight
for you
For you who cannot see the light, you who are not
so few
You who are barely breathing, and at the end of
your rope
I will bring you back to this life, I will give you my
hope
I guess freedom has a price to pay
As we parade through the streets to look for Mary
Why did he fall to his knees
When the rose appeared from his dreams
She sent him her love and a wish to fulfill
I want you to have your life, I'll send you another
angel
Shivers run all through my body
As I beg God to forgive me
For the soldier who is calling me home
For the solider who needs a name
And if I had one last prayer
I would see you standing some place alive
Free from hate, free from delusion, and free to be
happy again

 
Free from these hardships I hadn't known to be
Free from your worries, free to live a life of truth, to
see clearly
So here I am, and Soldier, I can still forgive you
But please will you just stop haunting me

So here I am, and Soldier, I still forgive


God’s Glory


You
are the
morning sun
rising from life
after life again
the peace and quiet of
an afternoon breeze and shared
laughs in these beautiful lives
I know you deserve all the Glory
you share with everyone gladly
when people are in need, you will lend hands
you don't feed the evils of mankind
you see everything, know all
and you know our hopes so well
you shed light on the dark
for our sufferings

 
You cry the rain
You see us
and you
reign
Who
would cast
you aside?
with