poems for the loss of our babies by Forest Ostrander (manga ebook reader txt) 📖

place, place.

And the wind is gentle and the grass is green and
there is no pain and no cold there. For she said to me he's awaiting there
cause by and by as time does pass and pass does time we all must make
that trip you know. And her words were kind and her hands were gentle
and time did pass by months by years and grave yards I'd roam no more.

Oh that was fun - for me - not for them - the cats - the hare - and my oh yes -
a skunk every now and then - for me to catch - oh how I shudder - the smell
the taste - twas ever so awful - but still twas fun for me - not them. Grave
yards - fun - for me - not them. Both getting older - old baldy and me - but
what the heck - I like his shoulder.

There's something wrong - what has happened - my eyes are dim - my steps
are slow - my joints, they creak - my ears, they droop - why don't they shout
instead they whisper - I cannot hear - my eyes are dim and nightmares return
oh no, oh no, not the cold again - not the hurt again - get away from me you
demons you.

And time does pass by months by years and grave yards I'd roam no more.
And baldy seems sad - I wonder why - my angel, why she and he, did cry.
I feel his touch, it's on my head - and this is what I heard was said - good bye
my Bruno - my Brunie - good bye - we've traveled far - old baldy and me -
traveled far old baldy and me.

But now - it seems - better for you and better for me - if for awhile to travel -
just me - and then as time does pass by months by years I'll wait for you across
the bridge - see up there - up there - over the ridge. I'll wait for you old baldy
and by and by we'll travel some more. Not older - not older - but then again -
I'll have your shoulder. Your shoulder. No pain - no pain - no pain - no more.

Oh Bruno, Oh Bruno - I love you so - I heard him say - again - once more.

(The angel is my daughter, Ann. I am the bald one, Radford B. Allen)
Fort Worth, Texas
18 January 1998

DINAH IN HEAVEN

by Rudyard Kipling

She did not know that she was dead
But, when the pang was o'er,
Sat down to wait her Master's tread
Upon the Golden Floor,

With ears full-cock and anxious eyes,
Impatiently resigned;
But ignorant that Paradise
Did not admit her kind.

There was one step along the Stair
That led to Heaven's Gate;
And, till she heard it, her affair
Was -- she explained -- to wait.

And she explained with flattened ear,
Bared lip and milky tooth--
Storming against Ithuriel's Spear
That only proved her truth!

Sudden -- far down the Bridge of Ghosts
That anxious spirits clomb--
She caught that step in all the hosts,
And knew that he had come.

She left them wondering what to do,
But not a doubt had she.
Swifter than her own squeal she flew
Across the Glassy Sea;

Flushing the Cherubs everywhere,
And skidding as she ran,
She refuged under Peter's Chair
And waited for her man.

* * * * * *

There spoke a Spirit out of the press,
'Said: -- "Have you any here
That saved a fool from drunkenness,
And a coward from his fear?

"That turned a soul from dark to day
When other help was vain;
That snatched it from Wanhope and made
A cur a man again?"

"Enter and look," said Peter then,
And set the Gate ajar.
"If I know aught of women and men
I trow she is not far."

"Neither by virtue, speech nor art
Nor hope of grace to win;
But godless innocence of heart
That never heard of sin:

"Neither by beauty nor belief
Nor white example shown.
Something a wanton -- more a thief --
But -- most of all -- mine own."

"Enter and look," said Peter then,
"And send you well to speed;
But, for all that I know of women and men
Your riddle is hard to read."

Then flew Dinah from under the Chair,
Into his arms she flew --
And licked his face from chin to hair
And Peter passed them through!


Dogs Don't Have Souls, Do They?

I remember bringing you home. You were so small and cuddly with your tiny paws and soft fur.
You bounced around the room with eyes flashing and ears flopping.
Once in a while, you'd let out a little yelp just to let me know this was your territory.
Making a mess of the house and chewing on everything in sight became a passion, and when I scolded you, you just put your head down and looked up at me with those innocent eyes, as if to say, "I'm sorry, but I'll do it again as soon as you're not watching."
As you got older, you protected me by looking out the window and barking at everyone who walked by.
When I had a tough day at work, you would be waiting for me with your tail wagging just to say, "Welcome home. I missed you. "You never had a bad day, and I could always count on you to be there for me.
When I sat down to read the paper and watch TV, you would hop on my lap, looking for attention. You never asked for anything more than for me to pat your head so you could go to sleep with your head over my leg.
As you got older, you moved around more slowly. Then, one day, old age finally took its toll, and you couldn't stand on those wobbly legs anymore. I knelt down and patted you lying there, trying to make you young again. You just looked up at me as if to say you were old and tired and that after all these years of not asking for anything, you had to ask me for one last favor. With tears in my eyes, I drove you one last time to the vet. One last time, you were lying next to me.
For some strange reason, you were able to stand up in the animal hospital, perhaps it was your sense of pride.
As the vet led you away, you stopped for an instant, turned your head and looked at me as if to say, "Thank you for taking care of me.

I thought, "No... thank you for taking care of me."

By Chuck Wells

Dreams and Chin
Evening stars, warm gentle breezes blowing
Sitting, watching as Chin play so freely
On my lap, he sits and plays
He seems to contemplate my silent ways
He gives me love, I take these with warm feelings
At night he sleeps upon my pillow
I dream of friends long since departed
Here in my heart, they are still near me
In my dreams I see my old Chin clearly
By a stream he stand open mouth smiling
waiting patiently for me to come playing
In these dreams I see my new Chin playing
Running, spinning and dancing with my old dear friend
He seems to tell him don't feel sad
For he can't come and play just now
It's not his time yet to laugh and run
It's not his time for eternal fun
Though he thinks of you and he thinks of me
He thinks of the time that is approaching
When we all shall meet by this peaceful stream
We shall all then be able to play for eternity


Jim Rusciano 1996

Fragile Circle
"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan."


Irving Townsend.

Fur Angels
This is for those who have gone on, and those who stayed behind to soften the hurt, and give their love.

I can still feel the soft velvet of your paw, the tickle of whiskers, that warm rasp of tongue as you decided I needed a bath. I miss the gentle rumble of your purr, the comfort of snuggle times, the silkiness of your fur. I know you've come back on occasion; I can feel you. Are you waiting for someone? Or have you come back to let me know everyone's okay? Once in a while, I find a picture of you by accident, and then remember how you hated a bath, that you loved tomato paste, and catnip was your idea of heaven. Sometimes, I forget you're not here and call another cat by your name. They look at me, astounded, that I could make such a mistake. I feel the tears start, and I try to tell myself that you're okay. Yes, I say, there are warm breezes, sunshine, butterflies, and green grass where you are. The others are there with you, so you're not completely alone, wandering and wondering. Is Megan okay? You remember that she was blind. And Patches and Phaedra...they were both deaf. Take care of Topaz, she's always been so frightened...she never knew humans could be kind. Amerber, my little earth mother...have they given you kittens to nurture and love? I'm sure Snow is bossing everyone around. He did here, why stop now? Annabel Lee, you know in your soul we didn't abandon you. We had no choice, you could have infected the kittens and they would have died. Dear beloved Annabel, my heart still hurts when I say your name. I can't stop the tears when I think of you. I can steel feel your coat, soft as bunny fur, under my fingers. Your sister Emily is so very much like you, it's painful to look at her. Caesar, my very first cat....dearly loved and missed so much. G.G. - you fought so hard to live for the short time you blessed us. I know God holds you in his hand and has a special place for such a brave little cat. Ragamuffin...I knew you briefly, but those sad, golden eyes spoke eloquently of your pain. I'm sorry you didn't find me sooner, maybe I could have saved you. And you, Mouse, are you still stealing dog food and hiding it? Black Cat, Gnu and Smoke, separated for a while in life, but no longer. I tried to keep you together, but Smoke had learned not to trust. I hope you've finally found peace and warmth, Bandit. I wanted to hold you and let you know it was okay to come in from the cold. You didn't give me time. Oliver