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Lord has given suitable individuals to take care of the children, money, etc. In his own time he will give a house also.

September 19. It was to-day particularly impressed upon my heart that I ought to seek for more retirement, though the work should apparently suffer ever so much; and that arrangements should be made whereby I may be able to visit the brethren more, as an unvisited church will sooner or later become an unhealthy church. Pastors, as fellow-laborers, are greatly needed among us.

September 28. I have for a long time been too much outwardly engaged. Yesterday morning I spent about three hours in the vestry of Gideon, to be able to have more time for retirement. I meant to do the same in the afternoon, but before I could leave the house I was called on, and thus one person after the other came, till I had to go out. Thus it has been again to-day.

October 16. For a long time past brother Craik and I have felt the importance of more pastoral visiting, and it has been one of our greatest trials that we have been unable to give more time to it. This evening we had purposely a meeting of the two churches, at which brother Craik and I, and a brother from Devonshire, spoke on: I. The importance of pastoral visiting. II. The particular obstacles which hindered us in attending to it. III. The question whether there was any way of removing some of the obstacles.

I. As to the importance of pastoral visiting, the following points were mentioned: 1. Watching over the saints, by means of visiting them, to prevent coldness, or to recover them from backsliding. 2. To counsel and advise them in family affairs, in their business, and in spiritual matters. 3. To keep up that loving and familiar intercourse which is so desirable between saints and those who have the oversight of them. These visits should be, if possible, frequent; but in our case there have been several obstacles in the way.

II. The particular obstacles in our case are: 1. The largeness of the number who are in communion with us. One hundred would be quite as many as we have strength to visit regularly, and as often as would be desirable; but there are nearly four hundred in fellowship with us. 2. The distance of the houses of the saints from our own dwellings, as many live more than two miles off. 3. The Lord’s blessing upon our labors. Not one year has passed away, since we have been in Bristol, without more than fifty having been added to our number, each of whom, in general, needed several times to be conversed with before being admitted into fellowship. 4. That brother Craik and I have each of us the care of two churches. At the first sight it appears as if the work is thus divided, but the double number of meetings, etc., nearly double the work. 5. The mere ruling, and taking care, in general, of a large body of believers, irrespective of the other work, takes much more time, and requires much more strength, than the taking care of a small body of believers, as we, by grace, desire not to allow known sin among us. 6. The position which we have in the church at large brings many brethren to us who travel through Bristol, who call on us, or lodge with us, and to whom, according to the Lord’s will, we have to give some time. 7. In my own case, an extensive needful correspondence. 8. The weakness of body on the part of both of us. When the preaching is done,—when strangers who lodge with us are gone,—when the calls at our house are over,—when the needful letters, however briefly, are written,—when the necessary church business is settled,—our minds are often so worn out that we are glad to be quiet. 9. But suppose we have bodily strength remaining, after the above things have been attended to, yet the frame of mind is not always so as that one could visit. After having been particularly tried by church matters, which in so large a body does not rarely occur, or being cast down in one’s own soul, one may be fit for the closet, but not for visiting the saints. 10. Lastly, in my own case, no small part of my time is taken up by attending to the affairs of the Orphan Houses, schools, the circulation of the Scriptures, the aiding missionary efforts, and other work connected with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.

III. What is to be done under these circumstances? 1. In the days of the apostles there would have been more brethren to take the oversight of so large a body as we are. The Lord has not laid upon us a burden which is too heavy for us; he is not a hard master. It is evident that he does not mean us even to attempt to visit all the saints as much as is evidently needful, and much less as frequently as it would be desirable. We mention this, to prevent uncomfortable feelings on the part of the dear saints under our pastoral care, who find themselves not as much visited as they used to be when we came to Bristol, when the number of them was not seventy, and now it is about four hundred, and when in many other respects the work in our hands was not half so much as it is now, and when we had much more bodily strength. 2. It is therefore evident that there are other pastors needed; not nominal pastors, but such as the Lord has called, to whom he has given a pastor’s heart and pastoral gifts. 3. Such may be raised up by the Lord from our own number, or the Lord may send them from elsewhere. 4. But in the mean time we should at least see whether there are not helpers among us. 5. As to the work itself, in order that time may be saved, it appears desirable that the two churches, Bethesda and Gideon, should be united into one, that the breaking of bread should be alternately, and that the number of weekly meetings should be reduced.

October 21. To-day the Lord has given me a house for the Orphan Boys, in the same street in which the other two Orphan Houses are.

Mr. Müller’s health having suffered from his cares, money was sent him from unexpected sources, to be used in travelling and recreation.

REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1837.

1. There are now eighty-one children in the three Orphan Houses, and nine brethren and sisters, who have the care of them. Ninety, therefore, daily sit down to table. Lord, look on the necessities of thy servant!

2. The schools require as much help as before; nay, more, particularly the Sunday school, in which there are at present about 320 children, and in the day schools about 350. Lord, thy servant is a poor man; but he has trusted in thee, and made his boast in thee, before the sons of men; therefore let him not be confounded! Let it not be said all this was enthusiasm, and therefore it is come to naught!

3. My temporal supplies have been £307 2s. 6½d.

CHAPTER IX. TRIAL. 1838.

THE MINISTRY OF SICKNESS—PEACE OF MIND—JESUS A PRESENT HELP—DEEP POVERTY—PLEADING WITH GOD—UNITED PRAYER.

January 6, 1838. I feel little better in my head, though my general health seems improved; but my kind physician says I am much better, and advises me now change of air. This evening a sister, who resides about fifty miles from hence, and who is quite unacquainted with the medical advice given to me this morning, sent me fifteen pounds for the express purpose of change of air; and wrote that she felt assured, from having been similarly afflicted, that nothing would do me so much good, humanly speaking, as quiet and change of air.

January 7. This is the ninth Lord’s day that I have been kept from ministering in the word. My affliction is connected with a great tendency to irritability of temper; yea, with some satanic feeling, foreign to me even naturally.

January 10. To-day I went with my family to Trowbridge. Jan. 14. Lord’s day. I have spent several hours in prayer to-day, and read on my knees, and prayed for two hours over Psalm lxiii. God has blessed my soul much to-day. My soul is now brought into that state that I delight myself in the will of God, as it regards my health. Yea, I can now say, from my heart, I would not have this disease removed till God, by its means, has bestowed the blessing for which it was sent.

January 15. I have had, since yesterday afternoon, less suffering in my head than for the last eight days; though it is even now far from being well. I have still an inward assurance, on account of the spiritual blessings which the Lord has granted to me, that through this affliction he is only purifying me for his blessed service, and that I shall be soon restored to the work. To-day, also, God has continued to me fervency of spirit, which I have now enjoyed for three days following. He has to-day, also, drawn out my soul into much real communion with himself, and into holy desires to be more conformed to his dear Son. When God gives a spirit of prayer, how easy then to pray! Nevertheless, it was given to me in the use of the means, as I fell on my knees last Saturday, to read his word with meditation, and to turn it into prayer. To-day I spent about three hours in prayer over Psalms lxiv. and lxv. In reference to that precious word, “O thou that hearest prayer,” (Ps. lxv. 2,) I asked the Lord the following petitions, and entreated him to record them in heaven, and to answer them.

1. That he would give me grace to glorify him by a submissive and patient spirit under my affliction.

2. That as I was enabled now, and only now from my heart, to praise God for this affliction, he would not remove his hand from me until he had qualified me for his work more than I have been hitherto.

3. That he would be pleased to grant that the work of conversion, through the instrumentality of brother Craik and myself, might not cease, but go on as much now as when we first came to Bristol, yea, more abundantly than even then.

4. That he would be pleased to give more real spiritual prosperity to the church under our care than ever we have as yet enjoyed.

5. Having praised him for the sale of so many copies of my Narrative in so short a time, I entreated him to cause every copy to be disposed of.

6. I asked him to continue to let his rich blessing rest upon this little work, and more abundantly, so that many may be converted through it, and many of the children of God truly benefited by it, and that thus I might now be speaking through it, though laid aside from active service.

7. I asked him for his blessing, in the way of conversion, to rest upon the orphans, and upon the Sunday and day-school children under our care.

8. I asked him for means to carry on these Institutions, and to enlarge them.

These are some of the petitions which I have asked of my God this evening, in connection with this his own word. I believe he has heard me. I believe he will make it manifest in his own good time that he has heard me, and I have recorded these my petitions, this 15th day of January, 1838, that when God has answered them he may get,

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