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ordinary good Religious were wont to do, and by approaching the
sacrament more frequently she placed herself among the more
fervent nuns. [12]
St. Teresa wrote quite a number of different accounts of her
life. The first, addressed to Father Juan de Padranos, S.J. [13]
and dated 1557, is now lost. The second, written for St. Peter
of Alcantara, is Relation I. at the end of this volume; a copy of
it, together with a continuation (Relation II.) was sent to
Father Pedro Ibañez in 1562. It is somewhat difficult to admit
that in the very same year she wrote another, more extensive,
account to the same priest, which is generally called the “first”
Life. At the end of the Life such as we have it now, St. Teresa
wrote: “This book was finished in June, 1562,” and Father Bañez
wrote underneath: “This date refers to the first account which
the Holy Mother Teresa of Jesus wrote of her life; it was not
then divided into chapters. Afterwards she made this copy and
inserted in it many things which had taken place subsequent to
this date, such as the foundation of the monastery of St. Joseph
of Avila.” Elsewhere Father Bañez says: [14] “Of one of her
books, namely, the one in which she recorded her life and the
manner of prayer whereby God had led her, I can say that she
composed it to the end that her confessors might know her the
better and instruct her, and also that it might encourage and
animate those who learn from it the great mercy God had shown
her, a great sinner as she humbly acknowledged herself to be.
This book was already written when I made her acquaintance, her
previous confessors having given her permission to that effect.
Among these was a licentiate of the Dominican Order, the Reverend
Father Pedro Ibañez, reader of Divinity at Avila. She afterwards
completed and recast this book.” These two passages of Bañez
have led the biographers of the Saint to think that she wrote her
Life twice, first in 1561 and the following year, completing it
in the house of Doña Luisa de la Cerda at Toledo, in the month of
June; and secondly between 1563 and 1565 at St. Joseph’s Convent
of Avila. They have been at pains to point out a number of
places which could not have been in the “first” Life, but must
have been added in the second; [15] and they took it for granted
that the letter with which the book as we now have it concludes,
was addressed to Father Ibañez in 1562, when the Saint sent him
the “first” Life. It bears neither address nor date, but from
its contents I am bound to conclude that it was written in 1565,
that it refers to the “second” Life, and that whomsoever it was
addressed to, it cannot have been to Father Ibañez, who was
already dead at the time. [16] Saint Teresa asks the writer to
send a copy of the book to Father Juan de Avila. Now we know
from her letters that as late as 1568 this request had not been
complied with, and that St. Teresa had to write twice to Doña
Luisa for this purpose; [17] but if she had already given these
instructions in 1562, it is altogether incomprehensible that she
did not see to it earlier, especially when the “first” Life was
returned to her for the purpose of copying and completing it.
The second reason which prevents me from considering this letter
as connected with the “first” Life will be examined when I come
to speak of the different ends the Saint had in view when writing
her Life. It is more difficult to say to whom the letter was
really addressed. The Reforma suggests Father Garcia de Toledo,
Dominican, who bade the Saint write the history of the foundation
of St. Joseph’s at Avila [18] and who was her confessor at that
convent. It moreover believes that he it is to whom Chapter
XXXIV. §§ 8-20 refers, and this opinion appears to me plausible.
As to the latter point, Yepes thinks the Dominican at Toledo was
Father Vicente Barron, the Bollandists offer no opinion, and
Mr. Lewis, in his first edition gives first the one and then the
other. If, as I think, Father Garcia was meant, the passage in
Chapter XVI. § 10, beginning “O, my son,” would concern him also,
as well as several passages where Vuestra Merced—you, my
Father—is addressed. For although the book came finally into
the hands of Father Bañez, it was first delivered into those of
the addressee of the letter.
Whether the previous paper was a mere “Relation,” or really a
first attempt at a “Life,” [19] there can be no dispute about its
purpose: St. Teresa speaks of it in the following terms: “I had
recourse to my Dominican father (Ibañez); I told him all about my
visions, my way of prayer, the great graces our Lord had given
me, as clearly as I could, and begged him to consider the matter
well, and tell me if there was anything therein at variance with
the Holy Writings, and give me his opinion on the whole
matter.” [20] The account thus rendered had the object of
enabling Father Ibañez to give her light upon the state of her
soul. But while she was drawing it up, a great change came over
her. During St. Teresa’s sojourn at Toledo she became from a
pupil an experienced master in Mystical knowledge. “When I was
there a religious” (probably Father Garcia de Toledo) “with whom
I had conversed occasionally some years ago, happened to arrive.
When I was at Mass in a monastery of his Order, I felt a longing
to know the state of his soul.” [21] Three times the Saint rose
from her seat, three times she sat down again, but at last she
went to see him in a confessional, not to ask for any light for
herself, but to give him what light she could, for she wished to
induce him to surrender himself more perfectly to God, and this
she accomplished by telling him how she had fared since their
last meeting. No one who reads this remarkable chapter can help
being struck by the change that has come over Teresa: the period
of her schooling is at an end, and she is now the great teacher
of Mystical theology. Her humility does not allow her to speak
with the same degree of openness upon her achievements as she did
when making known her failings, yet she cannot conceal the Gift
of Wisdom she had received and the use she made of it.
St. Teresa’s development, if extraordinary considering the degree
of spirituality she reached, was nevertheless gradual and
regular. With her wonderful power of analysis, she has given us
not only a clear insight into her interior progress, but also a
sketch of the development of her understanding of supernatural
things. “It is now (i.e., about the end of 1563) some five or
six years, I believe, since our Lord raised me to this state of
prayer, in its fulness, and that more than once,—and I never
understood it, and never could explain it; and so I was resolved,
when I should come thus far in my story, to say very little or
nothing at all.” [22] In the following chapter she adds: “You,
my father, will be delighted greatly to find an account of the
matter in writing, and to understand it; for it is one grace that
our Lord gives grace; and it is another grace to understand what
grace and what gift it is; and it is another and further grace to
have the power to describe and explain it to others. Though it
does not seem that more than the first of these—the giving of
grace—is necessary, it is a great advantage and a great grace to
understand it.” [23] These words contain the clue to much that
otherwise would be obscure in the life of our Saint: great graces
were bestowed upon her, but at first she neither understood them
herself nor was she able to describe them. Hence the inability
of her confessors and spiritual advisers to guide her.
Her natural gifts, great though they were, did not help her much.
“Though you, my father, may think that I have a quick
understanding, it is not so; for I have found out in many ways
that my understanding can take in only, as they say, what is
given it to eat. Sometimes my confessor used to be amazed at my
ignorance: and he never explained to me—nor, indeed, did I
desire to understand—how God did this, nor how it could be.
Nor did I ever ask.” [24] At first she was simply bewildered by
the favours shown her, afterwards she could not help knowing,
despite the fears of over anxious friends, that they did come
from God, and that so far from imperilling her soul made a
different woman of her, but even then she was not able to explain
to others what she experienced in herself. But shortly before
the foundation of St. Joseph’s convent she received the last of
the three graces mentioned above, the Gift of Wisdom, and the
scene at Toledo is the first manifestation of it.
This explains the difference of the “Life” such as we know it
from the first version or the “Relations” preceding it.
Whatever this writing was, it still belonged to the period of her
spiritual education, whereas the volume before us is the
first-fruit of her spiritual Mastership. The new light that had
come to her induced her confessors [25] to demand a detailed work
embodying everything she had learned from her heavenly
Teacher. [26] The treatise on Mystical theology contained in
Chapters X. to XXI., the investigation of Divine locutions,
Visions and Revelations in the concluding portion of the work
could have had no place in any previous writing. While her
experiences before she obtained the Gift of Wisdom influenced but
three persons (one of them being her father), a great many
profited by her increased knowledge. [27] The earlier writings
were but confidential communications to her confessors, and if
they became known to larger circles this was due to indiscretion.
But her “Life” was written from the beginning with a view to
publication. Allusions to this object may be found in various
places [28] as well as in the letter appended to the book, [29]
but the decisive utterances must be sought for elsewhere, namely
in the “Way of Perfection.” This work was written immediately
after the “Life,” while the Saint was as yet at the convent of
St. Joseph’s. It was re-written later on and is now only known
in its final shape, but the first version, the original of which
is preserved at the Escurial and has been reproduced
photographically, leaves no doubt as to the intentions of
St. Teresa in writing her “Life.” “I have written a few days ago
a certain Relation of my Life. But since it might happen that my
confessor may not permit you (the Sisters of St. Joseph’s) to
read it, I will put here some things concerning prayer which are
conformable to what I have said there, as well as some other
things which appear to me to be necessary.” [30] Again: “As all
this is better explained in the book which I say I have written,
there is no need for me to speak of it with so much detail.
I have said there all I know. Those of you who
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