Aptavani-9 by Dada Bhagwan (best english books to read for beginners txt) 📖

even then people do not straighten up, do they?

Dadashri: But there is no choice except to straighten up sooner or later, is there? Obstinacy will leave on its own once you have a bitter experience. There exists endless obstinacy. One has never met anyone to straighten him out in any of his previous lives. He would not wander in this manner had he met someone. So everything happens, but he does not remain straight. What does the world do? It keeps beating him to the point where he straightens up. If he does not straighten up, then his wife, his children and the world will beat him into becoming straight.

I became straight and wise after taking beatings from people for so many lives. Just behold, when I became straight forward, then this Gnan expressed within, did it not? I too was not straight. The world will straighten you out. Those who are not straight will one day have to become straight. However, people remain obstinate even in their old age. This progeny of obstinacy is nothing ordinary. It makes one become obstinate in one’s own home!

When a child dies, the grandfather will wail and cry out loudly, “My only grandchild is gone.” He cries as if he is never going to die himself. Is he never going to die? Even if he has become a grandfather?! Yet he cries over his son’s son! You fool, why don’t you straighten up now that you are close to leaving this world? Is departure not imminent for the one who becomes a grandfather? The signal to exit this world has fallen from the day he became a grandfather. And yet he talks as if his train is never going to leave! The signal has fallen so wake up and be aware.

Questioner: The signal for the train’s departure has come.

Dadashri: Yes the signal has fallen, the train is ready to leave and so you need to straighten up.

If you admit to be being obstinate, you will defeat the obstinacy

What is obstinacy (aadayee)? Many a times you tell people, ‘Hey! Why are you being obstinate?’ Or sometimes people tell you, ‘Why are you being obstinate?’ Do you or do you not recognize obstinacy?

Questioner: Obstinacy is recognizable.

Dadashri: How long have you known it?

Questioner: From the time I understood it.

Dadashri: So have you got rid of your stock of obstinacy or have you kept it? Have you kept it? You are saying ‘yes’. If you say ‘no’ would obstinacy not leave?

Questioner: It will leave when we say ‘yes’.

Dadashri: Is that so? Would it not leave if you say ‘no’?

Questioner: No, it will become stronger if one says ‘no’.

Dadashri: Do people not say ‘no’? They say, ‘I do not have any obstinacy in me.’

Obstinacy: Common and Uncommon

Who does not have the experience of obstinacy? The greater the buddhi (intellect), the greater is one’s obstinacy. Those who have wisdom ( samaj - right understanding) are less obstinate. Those with heavy veils over spirituality are very obstinate. They will not let go of their obstinacy. Now what do you call such obstinacy? What is the difference between their obstinacy and that of an average person? What is the difference between common and uncommon obstinacy? Uncommon obstinacy is unshakeable (gaaddha) obstinacy. Such obstinacy cannot be rid of, just like this state of gaaddha samkit (gaaddha - unshakeable. Samkit - right belief and right vision of ‘I am pure Soul’), which can never leave; neither can the state of gaaddha mithyatva i.e. unshakable deeply entrenched wrong belief of ‘I am Chandulal’ ever leave. No matter how much you make a person understand, he will not let go of his position. Such is the uncommon obstinacy; it will not leave its position.

Obstinacy in men and women

Do you have a little bit of obstinacy (aadayee) in you? A little at least?! Then why not ask him to help you get rid of it? A few hurtful jabs from him will make the obstinacy in you go away.

Questioner: Does obstinacy leave only through hurtful jabs?

Dadashri: Then how else?Does he not prod you ever? Otherwise, there is nothing but baggage of obstinacy everywhere. A person without obstinacy is considered straight (sarad) and flexible; he can be molded in any shape or form.

Questioner: Do men ever admit to their obstinacy (aadayee)? He will only know his obstinacy when his wife says something to him.

Dadashri: Women too are very obstinate. ‘We’ are not talking about just men. It is only when both parents are so, that children turn out the way they do. And it is men who make the women obstinate. Women are not obstinate by nature; they are not born obstinate. Men are obstinate from their very birth. Even in the womb, they jab their mothers with their elbows. If the mother happens to eat something spicy, he jabs his mother from the inside with his arms and legs. Women are not born obstinate like men.

You have to see your own obstinacy

People talk about obstinacy (aadayee) in others as if they have got rid of their own obstinacy. One should not make statements such as, ‘He is obstinate’.

Questioner: Dada, is it my obstinacy if I say, ‘he is very obstinate’?

Dadashri: That is the greatest obstinacy.

Questioner: So we have to see our own obstinacy?

Dadashri: Then whose? If you point out obstinacy (aadayee) in someone else, he will immediately become an adversary.

Questioner: Many times, we do not even recognize our obstinacy, in fact, many times our obstinacy appears as straight forwardness to us.

Dadashri: You would not recognize it. You have to enter

deep within your self to see it. You have to adopt an impartial attitude to see obstinacy.

When someone says, ‘Why are you being obstinate?’ you respond by saying, ‘Just look at him! He is a fool. Am I being obstinate or he is being obstinate?’, on the contrary the man is telling you to investigate, so then you should. People do not look at their own obstinacy and they go looking for obstinacy in others. Why do people not accuse me of being obstinate? If they were to see obstinacy in me, they would not refrain from telling me so. The world will tell you what it sees.

When obstinacy leaves…

Some men tell their wives, ‘If you make the tea, I will not drink it.’ Oh! ho ho! Then whose tea will you drink? Exercising his role as a husband ( dhani;owner), he intimidates his wife. What does he tell her? ‘You ruined the tea, so I will not drink tea again if you make it.’ He intimidates the poor woman. He becomes awkward and obstinate. So much obstinacy! That is why there is so much suffering!

Therefore, obstinacy (aadayee) is the obstacle, not attachment (moha). A person may enjoy attachment (moha) once or twice but the third time around he will get tired of it.

What happens if someone serves you a good meal with an upset and a non-communicative (risavu; sulking) face? You will not like it, will you? Would you not say, ‘The heck with your meal’? Even if someone gives you diamonds with an upset and non-communicative (risavu) face, will you not say, ‘Keep your diamonds to yourself’? So what is worth more, diamonds or an upset and non-communicative (risavu) face? Our people will not accept a diamond if given by someone with such a face. People of foreign countries will eat a meal even if their spouse is upset and non-communicative (risavu) but in India, the wife will get into trouble for doing that. Nevertheless, women in India will not behave this way. It does not matter in the foreign countries. There, even if a man were to give diamonds with an upset and non-communicative (risavu) face, the woman will think, ‘Let him sulk ( risavu) if he wants to. At least I get the diamonds.’ What do you think?

Questioner: That is true.

Dadashri: So then, is the value of being upset and non-communicative (risavu) at home not worth more than the value of the diamonds?

Even a child will not let you touch his money. He will say, ‘These are my rupees, give them back to me.’ A person may be straight in one matter but obstinate in another, he will not become free until that obstinacy is gone. It is possible to attain the state of God if obstinacy leaves. ‘Dada’ has become completely free from all obstinacy.

Everyone’s obstinacy is different in method and approach. What you state and consider as obstinate, is obstinacy you cannot see in yourself. If you can see your obstinacy, then you become God. One becomes God when he sees his own obstinacy. Even now, where can you see your own obstinacy? Otherwise, you would have become God.

Obstinacy is the only obstacle

Therefore, one needs to become straight. Do I have any problems, now that I have become straight? I have become straight as a result of taking so many beatings over countless past lives. Now there is no obstinacy at all left in me. If you tell ‘us’ “Let us go down stairs”, then ‘we’ will come with you. ‘We’ do not have any obstinacy (aadayee) whatsoever. Someone may say, ‘You are like this’ or ‘you are like that.’ He is saying it to the ‘one’ who is that way. I would not tell that man he is wrong. What is more, I will even understand to whom he is addressing. He is not saying it to ‘me’ he is saying it to my ‘neighbor’.

Questioner: Who is your neighbor?

Dadashri: This ‘A. M. Patel’ is the first neighbor. He (A. M. Patel) is also a contractor and an income-tax payer. That man is addressing this neighbor of mine.

They say that Gnan cannot manifest in the one who lives a worldly life. Hey, the income tax payer is there, and the contract business where bribery is commonplace is also there, and yet the Gnan has expressed! So then what creates obstacles in this worldly life? Your obstinacy (aadayee) is the obstacle. I had seen a lot of obstinacy in me. I became a Gnani after all the obstinacy went away. When no obstinacy remains within you, then realize that you have become a Gnani.

Nature of obstinacy

Questioner: How should I understand the nature of obstinacy (aadayee)?

Dadashri: It is when one does not accept that which his heart accepts, and acts according to his own opinion and understanding. ‘We’ do not say anything to anyone or pressure anyone, and if ‘we’ ever do and even then he does not accept it, then is that not his aadayee (obstinacy)? Is that not acting according to his own opinion and will? Should he not be following the Agna (directive) of the Gnani?

Questioner: Really speaking, we have to follow the Agnas of the Gnani.

Dadashri: Aadayee (obstinacy) is prevalent. Wherever it is, the worldly problems have arisen because of aadayee. Only ‘we’ are devoid of such obstinacy. ‘We’ have come to zero obstinacy. If someone pressures us by saying, ‘You will have to do things this way otherwise we will go on a fast,’ then in order to prevent them from undergoing the pain and the trouble of fasting, ‘we’ would tell