LITTLE GIRL LOST by SARAH BETH LEE (bill gates books to read TXT) 📖

the initial cause then I may be able to find the antidote to stop it.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“Then there is the possibility of taking the medicines that we have today and allowing people to live longer and healthier lives. Think about it Ms. Jacobs what if some of the great minds of our past had been allowed to live longer? What if we could go back and change the past to make a better future?”

Maddie was trying desperately to follow Nick’s train of thought but she was drowning in too much information. This was absolutely incredible but would it really work? Would he be able to change things in the past without it affecting the present in an adverse way? She wondered what the repercussions of playing god would be.

“I think in theory it sounds wonderful but in reality I think it could have devastating repercussions.”

Nick could see the look in her eyes as if she was the judge and jury and she had found him guilty of some unspoken crime. He studied her and again he felt as if he knew her. The way she narrowed her eyes at him and the way her brow furrowed in deep thought; it was as if he were looking at a Hannah all grown up. He shook his head in frustration he was seeing her everywhere he looked and in everyone he spoke to.

“Look Dr. Jacobs I know you think I am completely mad and talking out of my head but trust me time travel is possible.”

Maddie watched his eyes and the truth she saw reflected back at her. She did believe him and she was a hundred percent sure that he had traveled back to a certain day in June of 1993. She wondered if he was worthy of the pedestal that Hannah had put him on. She could see why Hannah had idolized him all these years he was truly beautiful and she could see how he could be charming in a different time and place. Maddie asked herself if he was right for Hannah, did he deserve someone as sweet and kind as Hannah.

“Nick I don’t think you’re crazy or that you are talking out of your head. I do however think that if I were you I would have ulterior motives for making time travel possible.”

Nick knew exactly what Dr. Jacobs was referring to and he was yet again amazed at how everyone thought he had spent every waking moment since childhood planning to change his family’s tragic accident. He laughed at how ironic it was that everyone saw it but him. He had never even entertained the idea of going back to the day his family died, it just never occurred to him. He realized that it was rather obvious now in hind sight.

“I swear to you that my only reason for time travel was to help make the future a better place and I never thought of changing my family’s fate. I guess I should have since everyone automatically assumed that was my motivation for the whole adventure with time. I mean really it’s all a matter of mind over matter.”

Maddie wasn’t sure what to make of that but she would let it go for now. She wondered what Nicolas Jordan O’Brien was hiding behind those cool blue eyes and tousled brown hair. She wanted to figure out how his mind worked and how she could help him fight the demons that she could see hiding in the depths of his beautiful yet troubled eyes.

“Ok so let me play devil’s advocate here for a moment. Why stop with preventing diseases? Why not go back to specific dates and stop say the assignation of Abraham Lincoln or JFK?”

Nick had thought of that in his explorations and studies of human nature. He knew that if his project became public knowledge he would be flooded with requests from births to deaths to events. He rubbed his head as if the very thought gave him a headache.

“I know that people all over the world would be hounding me to go back and change ‘just one little thing’ and I know that I have been lucky up until this point. I honestly don’t want to think about the utter chaos that would follow me if my experiment becomes public or worse viral. I also know that with any great discovery there will always be people who would undermine the greater good for their own selfish wants and out and out greed. I have never put my personal wants or needs ahead of what this accomplishment could mean for our society and life as we know it. I will not do anything to change what has already happened in people’s lives. I am aware of how one small change could cause a ripple effect and set things in motion that are beyond my or anyone else’s control. “

Maddie was glad to know that Nick understood the responsibility that was now on his shoulders. He was definitely one of the good guys and Maddie knew she had to help him deal with the loss of his family and his life as he had known it. She watched as he looked out the window at the tiny flakes of snow that had begun to fall and she could see that his mind was a million miles away. She watched rather intrigued as his face transformed right before her eyes and she could see the soft traces of a smile playing on his face, as his lips gently curved toward the ceiling and his eyes drifted closed and contentment was etched in every plane and angle of his face. She found herself unable to look away from his enchanted face and she longed to know what private moment he was lost in.

Nick could hear the doctor’s voice fading in the background until he had all but forgotten that she was in the room at all. He was drifting back in his memories of a time and place that brought him a sense of peace and love. He could see the day as if it had been only yesterday. He had been seven and MJ and Lizzie had been four. It had been the middle of February and school had been dismissed due to snow. He had watched out the school bus window as they drove slowly and cautiously down the streets. He could see toddlers making snow angels with their mothers and some teenagers having a snowball fight. He knew when he got home his dad would be waiting with the sled. They had walked to the top of Grant’s hill and slid down. His dad had timed every kid as they slid down the hill. Nick had been the fastest and he could still see the pride shining in his dad’s eyes as he reached down to pick him up and carry him across the field. He and his dad had played all afternoon outside throwing snowballs, building a snow fort and finally building the biggest snowman on the block. MJ and Lizzie had tried to help but they spent most of the day watching from the patio door. They had stood with their little faces pushed up to the glass pointing and laughing at the antics of their heroes, dad and big brother Nick. He could almost feel the snow as it hit his upturned face as he moved his arms and legs in the cold snow covered ground. His dad had pulled him up and lifted him into the air so that his snow angel would be perfect. He had thought it was beautiful and he had been proud of himself as MJ and Lizzie clapped and squealed with excitement. They played until twilight and his mother called that the chili and hotdogs were ready. He watched the flakes as they covered the window ledge. He was brought out of his trip down memory lane by the sound of the snow turning to ice as it hit the window pane. He straightened his shoulders and looked sheepishly at Dr. Jacobs and he wondered what she must think of him.

“Nick? You okay?”

“Sure I’m fine and you?”

“Good thanks for asking. I think maybe we should switch gears here. I want you to tell me about your childhood.”

Nick looked across the desk and wondered if Dr. Madeline Jacobs had failed to put mind reader on her profile. Zach had done a little digging to see how qualified she was and what Nick could expect from this mandatory visit.

“What exactly do you want to know that isn’t in that file?”

Maddie picked up the file and waved it in front of Nick’s face, “This is newspaper articles, photos, medical reports, hospital records and the story of a scared little boy who blames himself for the death of his entire family but this does not define who and what you are. I want to know the real Nicolas Jordan O’Brien. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to know the real you not the carefree slacker that you let the rest of the world see. Do your friends or acquaintances even know that you are a genius in genetics? Do they know that you are one of the smartest men in the country that any college, government agency or medical field would pay millions of dollars to have on their team?”

Nick placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. He watched her every facial expression and wondered how she could possibly know so much about him.

“I can see you did your homework Dr. Jacobs. You seem to think that you know me but you don’t.”

“I read the file but again the file doesn’t really tell the story of Nicolas Jordan O’Brien, does it?”

“I guess not. I know that I should be thankful to be alive but in reality not a day goes by that I don’t ask why me? Why did I live? Why didn’t I die too?”

Maddie could see the pain radiating from the white knuckles on his clenched hands and the grief that was contorting his face like a wound that refused to heal. He was trying to pretend like his family’s death meant nothing to him but Maddie could see how much it tore him apart and chipped away at his heart a little more each day.

“Nick you have to come to terms with what happened. You will never be able to be truly happy until you have resolved that one moment that changed your life forever.”

Nick could hear the words coming out of her mouth but he refused to believe what she said. He couldn’t talk about what really happened that day. He couldn’t admit out loud that it was his fault that his family was dead.

“I know what happened to my family and I deal with it every day so I have dealt with it in my own way. There isn’t anything you can say to me that I haven’t already heard a thousand times before. I know I can’t change what happened and I know I should