Redeeming Love by Shikha Mishra (e book reader android txt) 📖

“It's okay." I mumble. I can say my instant answer and solemn look is making him confuse. So I thought of giving him an answer.

“I had forgiven everyone. At first I didn't wanted. I had forgiven vihaan the day I...... left him because that was the biggest punishment for him. When bhai told me that everyone was blaming me for Vihaan's accident even after not knowing the whole truth I......was devastated. The days turned into weeks with me still carrying that anger but one day I realised that....I am still hung up on past. Even though being in dehradun I am still living in delhi. So to build a new life in dehradun I forgave everyone. I can.....never live future with past's burden on my shoulders. But I am happy that you said sorry. I am happy." His sorry gave me a peace.

“You have changed and I am happy for you. Dehradun has done good for you. But for better opportunities you should go to a more developed state. If you want I can get you fixed in a nice state."

“I will think about it." We both talk for few more hours. I leave as he had a meeting. I walk to a nearby park. I make myself comfortable on a empty bench. I message bhai that I am in the nearby park so he can pick me.

My eyes fall on a three children playing. Two being boy and one girl. I see us in them. I very nicely told Raj uncle that we can't live future with past's burden but have I really left those burdens? Have I really acceptance the change.

“Disha let's go." I come out of my thoughts. I nod my head to bhai. He is taking me to meet mummy and dad. We reach home and my eyes gets watery. The house has not changed its still the same. Suddenly I see the small me running towards the door in school uniform with bhai and vihaan tagging along at the back.

Shaking my head I make my way to the door with bhai. I ring the bell. Mummy opens the door.

“You came sweetie." Suddenly I hear her say. My mouth tugs up in happiness.

“Disha...Disha....Disha." I turn my head towards Bhai.

“Mom is calling us inside." he says and I realised that it was just a play of my mind. Mummy didn't called me sweetie. We both get inside. Some interior has changed except everything is same. I see dad standing near the sofa with Mia. I bend down and touch his feet. I move towards Mia to hug her but finding her moving away I stop.

We all sit down. Dad and mummy ask me some questions about dehradun. We all never bought up anything ofe running away. I was trying to listen to them but my mind was playing all the past scenes infront of me.

“You can leave here for today. Go and check your room till then I will go prepare food..... Mahesh you are helping me so come." Mummy says nodding my head I stand up to leave.

“Mia you also go with her." I hear mom say as I was ascending the stairs. I wait for her at the end of the the stairs. She comes. We both walk to my room with a very awkward feeling. Getting inside the room I get bewildered as everything is same.

“You know that even if this room is same no one is same. Everyone has changed." I hear mis say.

“True." I say. Even the books on the bookshelf are not the books which I would like to read now.

“So what do you do?" I ask as I want to remove the silence inbetween us. And it was the question which came in my mind. Suddenly my gaze falls on a cup. I go to that. It was the present given by Mia on my 15th birthday. It has a pic of both of us.

“I just manage my bakery. Half of days I make cakes." I get shocked. I turn towards her to find her seating on my study chair. I never knew she loved baking. Keeping the cup aside i graze at the photo frames hanging on the wall.

“When did you started baking? I never.....never knew that you loved baking." I ask.

“I loved it. You just never paid attention to know that without me..... telling you." Again silence with awkwardness falls between us. I sure never paid attention to anyone except vihaan. I guess everyone was aware of that except me.

“Okay let me ask you something....." I twirl towards her. With my hand on my hip I ask “Why were you...or must I say why are you mad at me? Or do you think I did wrong?"

“Oh thankgod you asked otherwise I thought we both are going to pretend that everything is okay between us. And yes you are right I was mad at you..... Not because you left or whatever you have been doing but because you never told me anything. I always knew in your priority list my name comes at the very back but I never let that hurt me. I was satisfied that I was your first friend...who knows everything about you. But that was also taken away from me. You never asked me about my well being but I never complained but during those bad days I missed our friendship. I missed the warmth of someone..... In past your life had always revolved around vihaan but that time also you were with me. With passage of time that also disappeared..... All in all you are worst friend anyone can ever get. Do you think your life is worst? No. There are people whose life are worst. Don't worry I am not mad at you. I am enjoying my life. I have best husband I could ever get. A beautiful son and a very supportive best friend. I have everyone. I am very happy with my life....." She is happy. “But you know what? You are not. Not at all. I pity you. Not because your life is worst but because you still haven't let the past go. You still are hung up in past......My son is crying. I should go." She leaves after that.

I fall on my knees. She is right I still am hung up in past. Tears starts spilling from my eyes. The prickling pain in my heart intensifies. Her words keep repeating in my mind.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh....I want to let go. I-I want to let go. I want t-to leave my life." A sob breaks through my mouth. My hand goes to my chest to push the pain away. I want it all gone. I reach for my purse. Removing the medicine I stare it. I gulp down the four doses. Closing my eyes I wait for few minutes. When I open it the pain is gone. Feeling fresh I stand up and wipe away the stains of tears.