Victor by Katie Spellman (ebook reader macos .txt) 📖

smile I never seen her wear, but then again I haven’t seen many of her smiles since that day she found out I was a Victor. Putting on a mask I tried both not to smile and not to cry. The surge of emotions left me filled with energy, instead of my emptiness I usually feel after the King talks to me. Why did they have to come now, why do they have to see what I do. Such a horrid thing in front of my parents, the only people who ever loved me before and now. With a forced smile I stepped back away from them and towards Lord Sander. Taking his hand gently and slowly, I could only think of small ways to inflict harm on him.

“You’re right; I can’t go back on my word. Please forgive me, you allowed me to feel something I haven’t in a very long time. Even so, this may hurt a little,” I told him in a serious tone with my expressionless mask again. With shaky hands I snapped his pinky, although it is all my heart could let me do, my mind told me the king wouldn’t be satisfied. This time around I wouldn’t give in. I knew that from this moment on nothing but hell could come my way with my thinking. Seeing my parents like this; nervous and still loving me, and Lord Sander holding back painful sobs, I felt that it was the only thing I could do. Disobey. It wasn’t right that disobeying the king was all that came to mind, but it was the thing I felt I had to do, I must do. With all that figured out, I still didn’t understand how I would do it, but now wasn’t the time to think about that. Unknowingly my eyes began to water. Squeezing them shut then opening them I came to see a new light, Mark had opened the door.

“Lady Kathryn, it’s time to go,” he informed with a stringent tone. I suppose he also realized I wasn’t going to hurt him anymore than I already have. Before stepping out of the house I gave them a small wave, unable to do any more than that. Although it was a silent ride back to the kingdom, I could feel Mark gaze on me whenever he turned to look. I could feel the shame he had, he knew the king wouldn’t like these, but then again so did I.
chapter two

After hearing the report the king called for me. Mark certainly told the whole truth; after all it was also part of his specialty. I don’t blame him, because he is just doing what he was asked to do when I didn't. Taking a huge breath of air I cleared my mind and thoughts. Walking into the throne room I set my eyes straight not looking around at the numerous amounts of guards. I had a feeling the king thought I was going to rebel and hurt him, but although I am going to rebel I don’t intend to hurt him. I stood before the king with an alarmed mind while he sat with fury taking shape of rays pointing at me or at least that’s what my mind saw. He didn’t say anything he just smirked and gestured for two of his guards to come closer. It wasn’t the guards that scared me, it was the silence. I imagined screaming, yelling, and a riot, but instead I got a smirk and deadly silence.

“Kathryn, my dear, you are just merely a tool I use to get the money I need and kill off the people I don’t. Do you dare defy me,” he questioned, but not in a mad roar just a dark malicious edge. Dark and malicious seemed to fit this malevolent king the most. The words he said wouldn’t have been as obscure if he hadn’t used such a tone of voice. I didn’t understand. I didn’t defy him I did as he asked, to harm the person that was wrong. Everything said or done in this throne room set my mind off in a maze wondering where it was leading to or if it was the correct path. Was he doing it on purpose or was I just looking too deeply. His smirks said one thing, and his malicious tone said another. With all that the only thing that threw me off was that he looked so scared while doing such gestures. His guards stood close by and his eyes twinkled in fear. It was as if us tools could fall onto his toe and leave him howling in pain. The king realized how easily I could kill someone; maybe he just now realized he is also a person. In truth I wanted to give a sly smile and laugh, but instead my face went pale white. I’ll act, I thought to myself, I’ll get out of this easily.

“I-I-I-I‘m sorry, p-please forgive m-me. I-I don’t know what came over me to think I could do such a t-thing,” I stuttered but still tired not to show emotion, because he understood I didn’t have a regular smile or laugh. He was the one to make me such a lifeless person, of course he would know. He seemed satisfied with my answer and his nerves blew away. Even with that he never told the guards to move away or leave. Silence hung in the room while the king looked like he was enjoying my stuttering. I did all I could to keep my mask as emotionless as the king makes me to be. Folding his hands together the king shifted, he got a better look at me and laughed.

“My dear Kathryn, so even a killer can become a coward,” he laughed whole heartedly. Things inside of me snapped, but I tried hard to put them back together. I’m neither of those things on my own. That being said he was satisfied and let me go to my room which was in the east wing with the rest of the victor’s. After closing the door behind me I couldn’t hold in the tears and laughter. To me, it seemed like my mind couldn’t make up whether I was happy or sad. The tears blinded me as I pushed myself off the door to start walking towards the east wing. While wiping them away furiously I ran into someone or something I couldn’t really tell. With unclear eyes I looked up to find that I indeed ran into someone, or rather than someone, he was the king’s son. Without warning he started laughing for a reason that was unknown to me. I went back to my expressionless mask trying to get him to stop laughing at me so whole heartedly. He was still standing there laughing, with that said I felt like punching him or screaming at him. Instead I ended up leaning on his chest to cry so more. This day had been too much for me because of seeing my parents, hurting the kindhearted Lord Sander, then the king pushing my feelings around like usual.

“Stop laughing you fool,” I whispered then pushed myself away and walked around him trying to act like nothing happened. The son of that ungrateful king, I know he isn’t the king but I still feel so angered in his presence. Whenever he is around my mask slips and leaves me feeling vulnerable like he could take my emotions and play around with them the way the king does. When I was younger and just came to the castle it was worst, I didn’t have much endurance so my mask was like it was already easily taken off. Just thinking of it made me feel the urge to cry and use my anger and sadness to do something. Quickly I started to walk away from Prince Kayden before he got any sudden ideas like he usually would. With that thought I could feel his smirk then his hand pulling my arm back stopping me in my tracks.

“My father is the one making you cry again correct,” he questioned already knowing the answer. To get his hand off of me I nodded in a quick movement. His gripped loosened but it didn’t release, only bringing me to frown. Shaking my head I tried to get back my mask, it was always easier with an emotionless mask.

“Well then we should work together, your specialty is granting a wish right? Well when he tells you to do something come to me first and I’ll wish that you didn’t do as he asked,” Kayden planned with an accomplished smile that says that he thinks he solved the biggest problem.

“Isn’t that the same thing as going against the king, I could never. It would be my death wish and you know it,” I answered automatically without thinking of excuses. It was true that the king was scared of me, but the countless amounts of followers he had and the victor’s to could kill as their specialty, they could easily end my life. Even though I don’t have much to live for I still enjoy breathing nonetheless.

“What are you so scared of? My father is a horrible that’s true he even makes you cry. Even with that though, I’ll protect you because I hate seeing you cry,” he insisted with begging eyes of gold and grey. I could’ve sworn two minutes ago he was laughing at me crying. I didn’t want to believe in him, he always had these crazy ideas that we always got caught in. One time when we were younger he begged me to come with him wandering into the forest, of course once the guards found us I was severely punished while the prince was fretted over. I shook my head again; I didn’t have enough ambition to do this without my specialty.

“I’m scared of you being able to bring out my emotions and the king being able to play with them,” was all I said before running off to my room before he can say anything else. Once I was in my room I didn’t understand what just happened. Before I clearly had the same intention, disobeying the king, but somehow now I am too scared too? My mind and heart were both jumbled up and confused. Maybe a rest will help my helplessness, I thought to myself trying to give out a positive feeling that didn’t come. And I did just that, sleep.
I was woken by the sound of knocking, thinking it was Valeria the maid that assigned to me, I opened the door. To my surprise it was not her but instead Kayden with a smirk. Quickly I started to shut the door but his foot caught it so it wouldn't close. Of course with all the training I had up until now I could, but I would never be able to bring myself to do it. Looking down at the floor I waited