PENALTY by Annika Sturm (love books to read .txt) 📖

The boys eventually left the house and started walking. Alex lived close to a strip of remote woodland just outside of Hamburg. It was bitterly cold and the wind was howling around their faces. They laughed and joked, told each other stories and gossip from their clubs. They play-fought and raced each other. Everything was just as it always used to be. Alex felt truly happy. His heart lifted every time he heard Tom laugh and saw his friend smile at him.

After another sprint race and breathless laughter, Tom grabbed Alex by his shoulders with one arm. 'It's so good to see you happy again.' Tom said catching his breath. Alex looked at him breathing hard. He was going to say something cheeky, something that would set them off laughing again. But instead he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He looked away in panic and embarrassment trying to swallow them down but his friend had already noticed them. Alex tried to walk off but Tom's grip on his shoulder was firm. 'Hey,' Tom said gently, facing him. Alex bit his lip, desperately looking away from him, but it was too late. The tears started rolling down his cheeks and as his eyes were cast down, he just gave in. Tom touched his chin and pulled it up, 'hey,' he said again, 'look at me,' his face showed concern and empathy as he was looking at his friend crying. He pulled Alex towards him and held him tightly, 'shhh, it's okay,' Tom said gently as he was holding him, stroking the back of his head, 'come on, let it all out,’ he sighed, ‘I knew I had to see you. I could feel it,' he whispered in his ear. Alex couldn't speak. When he had calmed down a little, Tom looked at him and wiped the tears off his face, 'Alex,' he said worried, 'how can I help make things better for you?' Alex forced a laugh whilst still catching his breath from all the crying. 'I wish you'd never left.' He said quietly, exhausted now from the emotion. Tom hadn't expected that answer. He grabbed his head and pressed his forehead against his friend’s. 'Alex,' he whispered, 'we did talk about this. You were the one encouraging me to move back home! And you love Hamburg, you were adamant you didn't want to leave. Hmm? Remember?' Alex was still catching his breath, leaning into Tom's forehead and putting his arms around him now. 'Yeah', he said quietly after a pause, 'but I miss you Tommy,' and as they were standing there in the howling wind, Tom was lost for words. He helplessly stroked over his friend's hair, 'oh Jesus, I'm being pathetic,' Alex muttered and forced a laugh, 'come on, we better get back, it's getting dark.' He took deep breaths and Tom's hand was carefully searching for his'. Alex looked at his friend and smiled at him sadly. He gently squeezed his hand as he walked alongside him and the boys headed back together. There was no need to talk. Alex had said it all.

They got back to the house and shivered as they took off their jackets and shoes. 'Bloody freezing!' Alex said. They went back into the living room and Tom threw himself onto the sofa. 'Emma not back yet then?' He asked. Alex checked his mobile. 'Hang on I've got a text message from her,' he smiled reading it, 'she is staying at her mum's tonight. I think she is trying to give us some space.' 'Well, that's lovely of her,' Tom said, 'I always thought she was a great girl,' he looked at Alex, 'I'm starving! What's for dinner?' He got up and walked over to him, resting one arm on his shoulder. 'Erm. Frozen Pizza?' Alex looked unsure. 'Sounds good,' Tom laughed, 'is there another beer in the fridge for me?', he wandered into the kitchen and helped himself to a couple more bottles from the fridge. Alex joined him and threw the frozen pizzas into the oven, 'just what the doctor ordered. I'll beat my personal best at training tomorrow with such nourishment!' Tom tickled Alex and they both giggled. They grabbed their beers and sat back down next to each other on the sofa. Alex nodded towards the Xbox. 'Fancy a game?' He asked Tom, smiling cheekily. 'Well I am yet unbeaten by you, so I shall happily defend my record!' Tom nodded confidently. They played games for hours as they ate their pizzas and drank beers. Tom had Alex in tears of laughter as they tried to beat each other and his heart jumped seeing his friend happy again.

At about 10 o'clock at the end of another game, Tom looked at his watch. 'It's late Alex, we should go to bed.' Alex gulped sadly. 'Yeah sure, you have to get up early as well. What time are you off?' He asked him. 'Probably need to leave here at 7 or so.' Alex nodded. 'I'll make your bed.' But as he stood up Tom grabbed his hand, which made him turn towards his friend again. He pulled him back onto the sofa and as he put his arm around his shoulders, he moved closely next to him. 'I miss you too,' Tom whispered gently rubbing his nose on his cheek, 'I hope you know that,' Alex's heart started racing. It felt so good to have him so close to him. Too good. He didn't look at Tom. Instead he closed his eyes and enjoyed his hot breath on his cheek, 'Alex.' Tom softly whispered into his ear. It was too much for Alex to bear. His breathing turned faster as he subconsciously moaned quietly. Tom moved even closer. He reached and touched his friend's cheek with his hand, gently turning his head towards him. 'Don't. Tommy. Please.' Alex kept his eyes cast down as Tom was resting his forehead against his' again.'I can't fight this any longer.' He whispered so quietly Alex could barely hear him.

Alex groaned as he jumped up quickly and walked towards the window. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest and was breathing hard. 'No,' he shouted, 'I can't feel this way for you. I mustn't. It's wrong,' Alex felt angry now, 'I love Emma. I have a son for God's sake!' He turned towards Tom, who was still sitting on the sofa, surprised and taken aback by the sudden change of mood. 'And I love Christine.' Tom said looking at him. 'See,’ Alex said hectically and nodded, 'that's exactly right. She is a gorgeous girl and you are crazy about her.' He was hoping this was going to take them back in the right direction. They could leave this little moment behind them and move on. It wasn't the first time they found themselves too close to each other. But they had always managed to turn this around.

Somehow this time it felt different though. Alex looked at Tom with begging eyes. Begging for him to get this back on the right track. Tom couldn't hide a tiny smile on his lips. He got up and slowly walked towards his friend. 'But I love you too.' Alex was stunned. He stared at Tom in disbelief. Tom gently put his arms around Alex, who looked down and pressed both his arms against his friend's chest as he was half-heartedly trying to fight off this embrace. Tom kissed his forehead and Alex was still trying to keep him at a distance, desperately fighting this feeling of desire for him. 'Alex please,' Tom's voice was still gentle but full of emotion now, 'I know you want me too.' He whispered. 'No!' Alex kept pushing his fists against Tom's chest but his friend had both his arms wrapped tightly around his upper body. He didn't want to let go. Not this time.

Alex’s mind was racing. He felt awfully torn between what he believed was right and his commitment to his family and this urgent desire of giving into his affection for Tom. He could feel his friend's heart race against his chest, he could smell his scent so close to him, his touch, the warmth of his body. All that just felt too good. Alex took all his courage and looked up into Tom's eyes. He studied his mouth. His fingertips gently touched his friend's lips, totally automatically it seemed. As if he had no control over them. Alex's whole body was trembling and as he closed his eyes, he felt warm tender incredibly soft lips on his mouth. Alex reacted instinctively and opened his mouth a little to welcome Tom's gentle tongue as it carefully pushed past his lips. He tasted so good.

There was no way back for them now. Tom held Alex's head as he kissed him gently. His hands started slowly wandering down Alex's back as his kiss became a little more forceful, more demanding. His breathing turned heavier as his hands stroked up and down Alex's strong back. Alex was electrified. Every touch made him almost jump. His arms were no longer pushing against Tom but instead he had pulled him closer and ran his hands through his hair. Suddenly Tom stopped, which made Alex open his eyes. 'Alex,' Tom whispered, 'I thought...' 'Don't stop,' Alex almost whimpered in his arms, 'you feel so good.' He mouthed at him, not ready yet to say it out loud. Tom smiled reassured gazing at Alex's lips with desire. Alex hadn't felt anything like this before. He was overwhelmed by Tom's scent, by his touch and by the physical passion he felt for him.

As the boys were holding each other closely, they could feel each other's excitement. Alex let his hands slip under his friend's jumper and Tom trembled at his touch. He stifled a moan before Alex suddenly pulled the jumper up over his head. Tom gasped at him. Alex stared at his naked upper body in awe and stroked him gently. He grinned mischievously, grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the spare bedroom. 'Let's go to bed. You need to get up early.' Tom followed Alex dutifully as he was dragged by one hand. They both laughed as Alex pushed his friend onto the unmade bed and they toppled on top of one another. They looked into each other's eyes and kissed passionately. All night, they fully gave into their desires, on a journey of exploring each other's bodies for the first time, excitedly, trying to push all the feelings of guilt aside. Alex felt safe and happy in Tom's arms and he was almost relieved that he didn't have to fight anymore. Tom was right. There was no point.

The boys finally fell asleep around 4 o'clock in the morning. They had both desperately needed some rest but they could not bring themselves to let go and make this night end as a result. Finally though the tiredness had taken its toll. Tom had rested his head on Alex's shoulder as they had been lying next to each other. Alex had held him and pulled a blanket over them both to keep them warm. He had kissed his cheek and forehead and had let him fall asleep. Tom's gentle breathing against his chest had been the most calming sensation for Alex. He had been surprised how natural it all felt. And how happy it had made him.

Alex woke up with a gasp. He was disoriented for a split second. 'Jesus, what time is it.' He thought in panic. It was still quite dark inside the room and as he tried to move to be able to check the clock on the far wall, he could hear Tom quietly stir in his sleep. His friend's head was still resting on his shoulder. 'Tommy.' Alex gently whispered. He softly stroked his hair and inhaled his