Miss Billy by Eleanor Hodgman Porter (best ebook reader for surface pro TXT) đ
- Author: Eleanor Hodgman Porter
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Bertram concluded, indeed, after a time, that she was too companionable, too cheery. He wished she would hesitate, stammer, blush; be a little shy. He wished that she would display surprise, annoyance, evenâanything but that eternal air of comradeship. And then, one afternoon in the early twilight of a January day, he freed his mind, quite unexpectedly.
âBilly, I wish you WOULDNâT be soâso friendly!â he exclaimed in a voice that was almost sharp.
Billy laughed at first, but the next moment a shamed distress drove the merriment quite out of her face.
âYou mean that I presume onâon our friendship?â she stammered. âThat you fear that I will againâshadow your footsteps?â It was the first time since the memorable night itself that Billy had ever in Bertramâs presence referred to her young guardianship of his welfare. She realized now, suddenly, that she had just been giving the man before her some very âsisterly advice,â and the thought sent a confused red to her cheeks.
Bertram turned quickly.
âBilly, that was the dearest and loveliest thing a girl ever didâ only I was too great a chump to appreciate it!â finished Bertram in a voice that was not quite steady.
âThank you,â smiled the girl, with a slow shake of her head and a relieved look in her eyes; âbut Iâm afraid I canât quite agree to that.â The next moment she had demanded mischievously: âWhy, then, pray, this unflattering objection to myâfriendliness now?â
âBecause I donât want you for a friend, or a sister, or anything else thatâs related,â stormed Bertram, with sudden vehemence. âI donât want you for anything butâa wife! Billy, WONâT you marry me?â
Again Billy laughedâlaughed until she saw the pained anger leap to the gray eyes before her; then she became grave at once.
âBertram, forgive me. I didnât think you couldâyou canât beâ serious!â
âBut I am.â
Billy shook her head.
âBut you donât love meânot ME, Bertram. Itâs only the turn of my head orâor the tilt of my chin that you loveâto paint,â she protested, unconsciously echoing the words Calderwell had said to her weeks before. âIâm only another âFace of a Girl.ââ
âYouâre the only âFace of a girlâ to me now, Billy,â declared the man, with disarming tenderness.
âNo, no, not that,â demurred Billy, in distress. âYou donât mean it. You only think you do. It couldnât be that. It canât be!â
âBut it is, dear. I think I have loved you ever since that night long ago when I saw your dear, startled face appealing to me from beyond Seaverâs hateful smile. And, Billy, I never went once with Seaver againâanywhere. Did you know that?â
âNo; butâIâm gladâso glad!â
âAnd Iâm glad, too. So you see, I must have loved you then, though unconsciously, perhaps; and I love you now.â
âNo, no, please donât say that. It canât beâit really canât be. IâI donât love youâthat way, Bertram.â
The man paled a little.
âBillyâforgive me for asking, but itâs so much to meâis it that there isâsome one else?â His voice shook.
âNo, no, indeed! There is no one.â
âItâs notâCalderwell?â
Billyâs forehead grew pink. She laughed nervous1y.
âNo, no, never!â
âBut there are others, so many others!â
âNonsense, Bertram; thereâs no oneâno one, I assure you!â
âItâs not William, of course, nor Cyril. Cyril hates women.â
A deeper flush came to Billyâs face. Her chin rose a little; and an odd defiance flashed from her eyes. But almost instantly it was gone, and a slow smile had come to her lips.
âYes, I know. Every oneâsays that Cyril hates women,â she observed demurely.
âThen, Billy, I shaânât give up!â vowed Bertram, softly. âSometime you WILL love me!â
âNo, no, I couldnât. That is, Iâm not going toâto marry,â stammered Billy.
âNot going to marry!â
âNo. Thereâs my musicâyou know how I love that, and how much it is to me. I donât think thereâll ever be a manâthat Iâll love better.â
Bertram lifted his head. Very slowly he rose till his splendid six feet of clean-limbed strength and manly beauty towered away above the low chair in which Billy sat. His mouth showed new lines about the corners, and his eyes looked down very tenderly at the girl beside him; but his voice, when he spoke, had a light whimsicality that deceived even Billyâs ears.
âAnd so itâs musicâa cold, senseless thing of spidery marks on clean white paperâthat is my only rival,â he cried. âThen Iâll warn you, Billy, Iâll warn you. Iâm going to win!â And with that he was gone.
Billy did not know whether to be more amazed or amused at Bertramâs proposal of marriage. She was vexed; she was very sure of that. To marry Bertram? Absurd! ⊠Then she reflected that, after all, it was only Bertram, so she calmed herself.
Still, it was annoying. She liked Bertram, she had always liked him. He was a nice boy, and a most congenial companion. He never bored her, as did some others; and he was always thoughtful of cushions and footstools and cups of tea when one was tired. He was, in fact, an ideal friend, just the sort she wanted; and it was such a pity that he must spoil it all now with this silly sentimentality! And of course he had spoiled it all. There was no going back now to their old friendliness. He would be morose or silly by turns, according to whether she frowned or smiled; or else he would take himself off in a tragic sort of way that was very disturbing. He had said, to be sure, that he would âwin.â Win, indeed! As if she could marry Bertram! When she married, her choice would fall upon a man, not a boy; a big, grave, earnest man to whom the world meant something; a man who loved music, of course; a man who would single her out from all the world, and show to her, and to her only, the depth and tenderness of his love; a man whoâbut she was not going to marry, anyway, remembered Billy, suddenly. And with that she began to cry. The whole thing was so âtiresome,â she declared, and so âabsurd.â
Billy rather dreaded her next meeting with Bertram. She fearedâ she knew not what. But, as it turned out, she need not have feared anything, for he met her tranquilly, cheerfully, as usual; and he did nothing and said nothing that he might not have done and said before that twilight chat took place.
Billy was relieved. She concluded that, after all, Bertram was going to be sensible. She decided that she, too, would be sensible. She would accept him on this, his chosen plane, and she would think no more of his ânonsense.â
Billy threw herself then even more enthusiastically into her beloved work. She told Marie that after all was said and done, there could not be any man that would tip the scales one inch with music on the other side. She was a little hurt, it is true, when Marie only laughed and answered:
âBut what if the man and the music both happen to be on the same side, my dear; what then?â
Marieâs voice was wistful, in spite of the laughâso wistful that it reminded Billy of their conversation a few weeks before.
âBut it is you, Marie, who want the stockings to darn and the puddings to make,â she retorted playfully. âNot I! And, do you know? I believe I shall turn matchmaker yet, and find you a man; and the chiefest of his qualifications shall be that heâs wretchedly hard on his hose, and that he adores puddings.â
âNo, no, Miss Billy, donât, please!â begged the other, in quick terror. âForget all I said the other day; please do! Donât tellâ anybody!â
She was so obviously distressed and frightened that Billy was puzzled.
âThere, there, âtwas only a jest, of course,â she soothed her. âBut, really Marie, it is the dear, domestic little mouse like yourself that ought to be somebodyâs wifeâand thatâs the kind men are looking for, too.â
Marie gave a slow shake of her head.
âNot the kind of man that is somebody, that does something,â she objected; âand thatâs the only kind I couldâlove. HE wants a wife that is beautiful and clever, that can do things like himselfâLIKE HIMSELF!â she iterated feverishly.
Billy opened wide her eyes.
âWhy, Marie, one would thinkâyou already knewâsuch a man,â she cried.
The little music teacher changed her position, and turned her eyes away.
âI do, of course,â she retorted in a merry voice, âlots of them. Donât you? Come, weâve discussed my matrimonial prospects quite long enough,â she went on lightly. âYou know we started with yours. Suppose we go back to those.â
âBut I havenât any,â demurred Billy, as she turned with a smile to greet Aunt Hannah, who had just entered the room. âIâm not going to marry; am I, Aunt Hannah?â
âErâwhat? Marry? My grief and conscience, what a question, Billy! Of course youâre going to marryâwhen the time comes!â exclaimed Aunt Hannah.
Billy laughed and shook her head vigorously. But even as she opened her lips to reply, Rosa appeared and announced that Mr. Calderwell was waiting downstairs. Billy was angry then, for after the maid was gone, the merriment in Aunt Hannahâs laugh only matched that in Marieâsâand the intonation was unmistakable.
âWell, Iâm not!â declared Billy with pink cheeks and much indignation, as she left the room. And as if to convince herself, Marie, Aunt Hannah, and all the world that such was the case, she refused Calderwell so decidedly that night when he, for the half-dozenth time, laid his hand and heart at her feet, that even Calderwell himself was convincedâso far as his own case was concernedâand left town the next day.
Bertram told Aunt Hannah afterward that he understood Mr. Calderwell had gone to parts unknown. To himself Bertram shamelessly owned that the more âunknownâ they were, the better he himself would be pleased.
It was on a very cold January afternoon, and Cyril was hurrying up the hill toward Billyâs house, when he was startled to see a slender young woman sitting on a curbstone with her head against an electric-light post. He stopped abruptly.
âI beg your pardon, butâwhy, Miss Hawthorn! It is Miss Hawthorn; isnât it?â
Under his questioning eyes the girlâs pale face became so painfully scarlet that in sheer pity the man turned his eyes away. He thought he had seen women blush before, but he decided now that he had not.
âIâm sureâhavenât I met you at Miss Neilsonâs? Are you ill? Canât I do something for you?â he begged.
âYesânoâthat is, I AM Miss Hawthorn, and Iâve met you at Miss Neilsonâs,â stammered the girl, faintly. âBut there isnât anything, thank you, that you can doâMr. Henshaw. I stopped toâ rest.â
The man frowned.
âBut, surelyâpardon me, Miss Hawthorn, but I canât think it your usual custom to choose an icy curbstone for a resting place, with the thermometer down to zero. You must be ill. Let me take you to Miss Neilsonâs.â
âNo, no, thank you,â cried the girl, struggling to her feet, the vivid red again flooding her face. âI have a lessonâto give.â
âNonsense! Youâre not fit to give a lesson. Besides, they are all folderol, anyway, half of them. A dozen lessons, more or less, wonât make any difference; theyâll play just as wellâand just as atrociously. Come, I insist upon taking you to Miss Neilsonâs.â
âNo, no, thank you! I really mustnât. Iââ She could say no more. A strong, yet very gentle hand had taken firm hold of her arm in such a way
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