Hard Love by Mis Understood (great books of all time txt) š
- Author: Mis Understood
Book online Ā«Hard Love by Mis Understood (great books of all time txt) šĀ». Author Mis Understood
At night we text. We text and then he comes over and we watch TV. I know Iām stepping in dangerous water. Itās saying āNo Divingā, but when he looks at me with those smiling emerald eyes, like he knows something I donāt. Thatās exactly what I am doing. Diving into those oh-so-dangerous eyes.
Stacey and I havenāt spoken about why Matthew and she were arguing. Sheās not home like she used to be. I know sheās with Matt. But thereās something there. Everyone talks about them in school. And it makes me sick to my stomach that sheās not talking to me about it. It also makes me feverish, when I think about Matt. All those time heās made me feel so low. The way he's spoken to me, made me feel like I was nothing. The way he saw me. As if I was a someone he could toy with me because he had so much control over me.
Iām home in the living room doing my homework. When Stacey walks in and drops her backpack next to the door. My mom always yells at her for it. She doesnāt notice that I am there.
āMatt, I told you I canāt. You wouldnāt understandā Pause.
āThatās not fair, you know I care for you. But itās hard to explain. I wish I can be there for you. I know youāre going through a hard time!ā She still doesnāt realize that Iām sitting on the couch with my legs crossed. She doesnāt sense my eyes on her. She drags a hand in her hair. She sighs loudly. She goes up the stairs swiftly. I hear her steps faltered, and I hear a creak. Sheās sitting on the stairs.
āMatthew, you need to take it a day at a time. You can do this,ā she tells him. Again she sighs.
āWeāre going to see each other at school. I canāt watch you twenty-four-seven. I need time for myself.ā She stresses.
āBabe, please just give me some time. Okay? Iām not leaving you because of what you told me.ā I hear her shuffle.
āListen, Iām home. Iām gonna eat and do my homework. Iāll call you back. Okay?ā Another pause.
āYes, you too. Byeā
I pretend to do my homework. I listen to her steps. Sheās coming down the stairs.
āHow much did you hear?ā She asked with her eyes popping out of her sockets.
āAll of it,ā I shrug. I uncross my legs and cross them again.
She sits next to me. She groans and drags another hand in her hair. Her eyes are dark as if she hasnāt slept.
āAre you okay?ā I put my stuff on the coffee table.
āYes.ā
I give her a āseriously-youāre-lying-to-me?ā look.
āIām okay. Okay, not completely. Itās been rough. Matt, heās just not what I expected.ā She fiddles with her fingers.
āWhat does that mean?ā My tone is offensive, I don't mean it to be.
āIt means thereās shit you don't know Jaz. Thatās what that means!ā Her reaction surprises me. I stand up.
āI know what he did to me. I know he never cared, I know he'll never question himself how made me feel. I know he made me feel like garbage. I remember hiding from him and hoping he doesn't find me. Did you forget Stacey?ā Angry tears run down my face. My face is hot and my ears are ringing. She stands up and gets close to my face.
āOf course I do, I remember all the details. Iām doing this for you Jazielly! And itās harder than I thought. I know things you donāt. Iām not saying what Matt did was okay. I was not even close to okay. Sometimes I feel things for him and then I remember all the shit he put you through. Then I feel sick. I wanna give up.ā She walks back and forth the living room. āAnd it's fucking hard. If it was under different circumstances, I would be attracted to him. I know it's wrong! The stuff he tells me. It's so sad and I just donāt know if I can take itā She cries. She sits on the couch.
āWhatā¦ what does he tell you?ā I swallow.
āEverything and nothing. If I didnāt know you. If I didnāt know how he made you feel. Iād forgive him. But youāre my best friend and I just canāt forgive him. Not until you do.ā
Forgiveness? No. He doesnāt deserve a centimeter of forgiveness.
āForgive him?ā I stare at her in shock.
āThis is way too hard. Iām gonna go for a ride. I canāt deal with anyone right now.ā She shakes her head. She takes the keys and her backpack and walks out of the door.
Whatever is going on itās bigger than her. I canāt help feel badly on how a reacted. But it hurts me deeply on how I feel she is taking his side. Itās not fair. Heās taking her away from me and it makes me so hate him so much more. Heās changing her. Sheās not the Stacey I know. At least not at the moment.
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I went to my room after the argument with Stacey. My mom knocked on my door. She said she heard us arguing and wanted to see if I was okay. I told I was okay. She asked me what it was about, I explained to her it was boy stuff. She nodded and went back to her room.
A few minutes later I heard a very faint bang on my window. Thinking it was the tree branch hitting my window, I remained watching t.v and eating my fruit salad.
āTick.ā
I stand up.
āTickā
I walk to the window.
āTickā
I open the shades. I see a figure waiting for me. I canāt see how because I donāt have my contacts in.
āWhoās that?ā I squint to see if I can get a better look. I donāt.
āDavid, let me in.ā He says in a breathy whisper.
The time I snuck him through the garage I didnāt think it through. The front door to my house literally faces the stairs. And the stairs literally take you to my room.
āOkay, Iām going to throw you the keys.ā
I know Iām safe because my mom is sleeping. She will think that itās Stacey coming home if she wakes up from the keys jiggling and the footsteps. Also, Stacey is not home. I sit in my bed and wait for him to come into my room. I feel like everything is moving so fast.
A year ago I never wouldāve thought Iād ever had Dave in my room.
And three months ago, I never thought this would be the Dave Iāve gotten to know. The door opens and my heart skips. I can sense him because my hairs in the back of my neck shamelessly stand up. I hear him take off his shoes. He hates shoes. He says if he can walk barefoot for the rest of his life, he would. He doesnāt though, because welllā¦ you canāt. Which is ironic because every time I see him he has a different pair of shoes. Iāll see him at school with Nikes on and when he comes to my house he has another pair.
āHey,ā his deep voice resonates across my body like a guitar.
āHey,ā I smile.
āWhatcha watching?ā He rests his back on the headboard and stretched his legs on the bed.
āI have no idea. I havenāt been paying attention.ā I take a bite out of my pineapple.
āWhy whatās wrong?ā
How does he know something is wrong? Maybe itās just a guess. I mean, he canāt read me that good. Right?
āStacey and I kinda argued today.ā I put my bowl down on my nightstand and get in the same position as him.
āMatt and I argue a lot too.ā
I cringe. He sees it.
āWas it about him? Matt, I mean?ā He asks.
āWhy do you want to know?ā
Weāve never ever talked about anyone. Not Stace, Matt, Jason and especially Melanie.
āYeah but I donāt want to get into it.ā I find the remote to the television and put on Hulu.
āYou know theyāre together right?ā
Of course, I know. But thatās not what bothers me. It bothers me because their relationship seems so real. By the looks of it, Stace does have actual feelings.
āYep.ā
āIt doesnāt bother you.ā Itās more of a statement than a question but I still answer it.
āNope.ā
āHmmm.ā
I put on āRick and Morty.ā He laughs at the stuff Rick says. I put it on because I know he likes this show. I like to see him laugh. In school, he always has his guards up. His walls are so thick that I donāt think anyone can melt them. Then, these nights when weāre together itās almost as if he doesnāt have to keep his walls up. He lets them down as soon as he walks into my door. His eyes are relaxed and his body is just comfortable.
I laugh at Morty.
āI thought this show wasnāt funny.ā He knows itās pretty comical. But no matter how many times I laugh, I always deny it. This show is stupid, to be honest. I canāt stand it, but the shows are fascinatingly weird.
āItās not,ā I try to hide my smile. I canāt though.
āRight.ā
I lay down. He lays down, too. Itās dark in my room, the only light thatās illuminating is the t.v. I face him and he faces him. āRick and Mortyā is forgotten.
āI wanna kiss you,ā he whispers.
I bluntness takes me by surprise. He moves closer.
So close that can see small specks of bronze color in his eyes.
So so close that I notice his eyelashes curl and almost touch his brow bone.
And then he lips me mine. My eyes involuntarily close. His lip soft and luscious. His hands caress the side my face. His tongue touches my lips lightly and I open up for him. He tastes like nirvana. I moan and get closer to him.
Daveās hand gently grazes my neck and travels down my side and make its way to the back of my knee. It stops there. My hand timidly skims his chest.
He turns me on my back and comes on top of me. I can feel all of him. His chest against my boobs, his stomach on mine. His weight comforts me. I love how big he is. David kisses me like itās his most favorite thing in the world. He savors me and explores my mouth. His tongue meets mine and they dance around. Then, he sucks on my lower lips and gently bites it. It makes we want to explode.
Without thinking my legs go around his want looking for something. My stomach is filled with ache. An ache I have never felt before. And my boobs feel sore. As if they need something to caress them.
His mouth drags down to my neck. He licks and nips it has me panting. I wrap my legs tighter and feel something hard against. It causes the Iāve been looking for. It feels so good. I gasp when his tongue tastes my cleavage. My hands go to his hair and pull it tenderly. And his hands touch my tits and squeezes them. I moan loudly, the sensation feels like wonderful.
āPlease,ā I beg. I donāt know what Iām asking.
He seems to know because he grabs a handful of my ass and presses it against him. I grab his head and guide his mouth toward mine. Our teeth clash and tongues meet once again. He turns his head for more access and thrust his hips forward. I meet his thrust
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