Chosen by Christine Pope (best romantic novels in english .TXT) 📖

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Head north, the voice said once I was a few blocks from the Walgreens. Get on the freeway.

“Are you kidding?” I asked, hands tight on the steering wheel. Right then, I wasn’t sure whether I had a death grip on the thing because of all the vehicles choking the roads, or because I was still shaking from that confrontation back in the parking lot. Maybe a little bit of both. “The freeway is going to be worse than the surface streets.”

No, it isn’t. Trust me.

Considering he’d just saved me from a speeding bullet, I decided to trust him.

The closest on-ramp was at Paseo del Norte, so I headed in that direction, keeping my speed below twenty-five miles an hour, and sometimes even slower than that, depending on how congested the street around me was. When I got to the on-ramp, I actually had to drive onto the shoulder to get around two vehicles that seemed to have crashed head-on into one another. Now it was impossible to tell whether they’d both been trying to get on the freeway at the same time, or whether the drivers had been so ill that they’d basically plowed into each other at the worst possible spot.

After that, though, the connector was clear enough, and I eased up onto I-25, keeping my speed down. The voice had been right, though — yes, there were still abandoned vehicles here, but they tended to have either crashed into the center divider or drifted over to the shoulder. The middle two lanes were fairly clear, although I still had to slow down from time to time to get around a car or truck that had stopped in the center of the highway.

In fact, the going was easy enough that I thought it safe to risk opening one of the water bottles so I could get a drink. My throat was parched, and I drank half the contents of the bottle without even stopping. In the passenger seat, Dutchie cocked her head and looked at me.

“I’ll take care of you when we stop, girl,” I told her. Along with the camping gear, I’d stowed a set of collapsible dog dishes in the back of the Cherokee, relics of the times when we used to take Sadie on day trips with us. My father never got rid of anything — which was why none of our cars ever actually lived in the garage — and I’d found the dishes when I was scrounging some of the other stuff.

Dutchie wagged her tail, then sort of collapsed onto the seat, curling up in a smaller ball than I would have thought possible. Up until then, she’d been sitting up and looking out the window, but, truth be told, once you were on the freeway, the sights and smells really weren’t that interesting.

“So where are we going?” I asked of the general air around me. Judging by his delayed reaction to the man who’d assaulted me back at Walgreens, the voice wasn’t necessarily around at all times. In this case, since I was asking a direct question, I had to hope he was close enough that he would hear me and respond.

North.

“Besides that,” I snapped, irritated now. I’d done what he asked — Albuquerque was dropping farther and farther behind me, since I’d started out from the more northern end of the city sprawl anyway. At this point, I really couldn’t see the reason behind the continuing games of evasion. “It’s a little early for ski season.”

That is all you need to know for now. I will tell you when it is time to get off the freeway.

I might have growled. But since I knew there was no point in pressing the issue, I took another swig of water and kept my gaze focused on the road. I actually hadn’t been about to run out of gas; the tank was nearly full. I’d just hoped that lying about the gas situation would convince the stranger at Walgreens to choose some other prey. So much for that brilliant idea.

At any rate, I knew I wouldn’t have to stop for gas for some time. Maybe not at all, depending on how far I was going. What I had in the Cherokee right now was probably enough to get me to the Colorado border, although I sincerely hoped I wasn’t going quite that far.

So I continued to drive north on the freeway, pushing my speed closer to forty miles an hour as I left Albuquerque behind, and the vehicles littering the road gradually grew fewer and farther between. Not to say that the highway was completely empty, but it was open enough that I felt safe going a little faster. Wherever I was headed, I wanted to get there as quickly, albeit as safely, as I could.

An hour passed. Dutchie slept in the passenger seat, and I could feel my stomach begin to growl. If I’d been thinking clearly, I would’ve gotten some of the food out of the back and brought it up here with me, but shooting someone at point-blank range does tend to rattle your logic centers a bit. Ever since I’d left Albuquerque, I’d been telling myself that there was nothing else I could have done, that he’d shot at me first…but those kinds of reassurances only go so far when you’re trying to wrestle with the realization that you’d killed someone earlier that day.

It was not your fault. The voice was soothing, its earlier weariness apparently gone. I must have been really broadcasting my angst, because in general, the voice only answered direct questions and didn’t respond to my inner thoughts. He forced the issue. You should not blame yourself.

I knew that intellectually. But I also knew that killing, even in self-defense, carried its own weight of emotional consequences. When I was in high school, my father had shot someone while on duty — a drug dealer who’d drawn a .38 Special when he was pulled over for running a red light. My father didn’t have much choice but to shoot. Even so, he was in counseling for months after that, coming to terms with what he’d done. Taking a human life was not something to be dismissed lightly. And how much heavier was the burden of doing something like that when so few people were even left alive?

I wasn’t sure, but at the moment it felt pretty damn heavy.

The world has changed, the voice told me. So you must change with it.

“So I’m supposed to not care?” That didn’t sound right at all. What was the point of surviving all this, if the only way to do it was to become a person I didn’t like very much?

I did not say that. But there are certain realities you must face. There is nothing wrong with killing, if that is the only way for you to stay alive.

In other words, I shouldn’t feel bad about acting in self-defense. Maybe someday I’d get to that point, but at the moment I’d had too many shocks in too short a period of time. I really just wanted to curl up in a ball somewhere and pretend the world didn’t exist for a while.

Here, the voice told me. Take the turnoff for 84 north.

“Santa Fe?” I asked in some surprise. For some reason, I’d thought I’d be going much farther than that.

Yes, Santa Fe.

Well, thank God for small favors. I did as instructed and pulled onto the highway, which was more that in name than anything else, since in reality it was just a four-lane road cutting through town, with shops and schools on either side. Here I had to slow down again, as there was a good deal of stalled traffic once more. Not enough that I couldn’t get around it when necessary, even if I had to pull up onto the island at the center of the street, but it was still nerve-wracking.

Then turn here, on Cerrillos.

So we were heading into the heart of the town? I knew Santa Fe, although not intimately; my family had come here from time to time, mainly when my mother was tired of camping and hiking, and wanted us to get some culture. And I’d visited the town with Elena and Tori a couple of times, generally when Elena borrowed her parents’ timeshare so we could get out of Albuquerque and let our hair down for a few days. Even