A Beautiful, Terrible Love by Lucky 97 (books for 9th graders txt) 📖

"Don't say anything bad about Dex. I'm sure he had to leave for Hollywood because of business."
She nods silently, vanishing into the crowd quickly, giving me the impression that I had done something horribly wrong.
"Come back later if you want answers to your questions," I threw over my shoulder as I swung the door open and walked quickly inside. Emotion started to overtake me, and I put my head in my hands.
Why did everything have to turn out this way?

The was a soft, hesitant knock on the door a half hour later, just when I was about to leave for school. Sadie sat at the kitchen table, her hair a frizzy mess, eating a bowl of cereal. There was a small grin on her face, a satisfied one, and I wondered what exactly that meant.
Not more reporters, I hope. If she called even more reporters to trail me again like yesterday, I was going to kill her.
But the knock proved that possibility to be null and void. It was not the sort of knock a reporter would choose. They probably would take the more direct option and bang on it with all their might. Reporters are scary until they get what they want.
I walked over and swung the door open, then stepped back in surprise.
Peter stood there, undeniably handsome in his vintage jeans and t-shirt, looking down at his shoes. He glanced upwards at me, scanning me quickly, and shot me a hesitant smile. "You called?" he questioned.
"What?" I was confused.
The same look adorning my face showed on his also. "You called me ten minutes ago asking for me to give you a ride to school." He gestured to his shiny car on the road, beckoning for me to slip in it.
"I'm sorry, Peter. I didn't call you," I replied quickly.
I turned and glared at Sadie. She grinned back, her mouth full of cereal. "I called you, Peter, and pretended to be her so you would come over here," she clarified.
"That's a mean joke," he shot at her the same evil look I had seconds earlier, then without another word, started down the steps. I banged the door shut and ran after him.
I didn't want to be alone this morning. I wanted a distraction.
"Peter," I touched his arm. He halted, the silence between us unbearable. "I... want a ride."
He said nothing for a few lingering seconds, then turned to face me. "Okay," he said carelessly, opening the door on the passenger side so I could get in.
I watched Peter as he cranked the engine, the way he carefully scanned his finger, and then gripped the steering wheel lovingly. I could tell he really cared for his car.
He could sense my gaze, I could tell, but he didn't turn to me, keeping his eyes glued to the road. The school was close, so we wouldn't have much time.
"Peter..." I carefully said, a hesitant waver to my tone, "what you said was wrong."
Peter stiffened, sitting up straighter in his seat. "What?"
"You DID leave me," I corrected him from the previous night. "You left me standing in that empty hallway over five years ago, with no one to run to. You left me every second of these five years, ostracizing me until I was totally alone," I started to stutter a little, my anger corrupted by the feeling that maybe I was a little too harsh. But I had to get my feelings out somehow.
There was a sudden screech, the car's wheels turning harshly, running us both off the side of the road. Peter's eyes were alight with anger, his movements impulsive. The car stopped as he mashed the brakes, the lights dying as he mashed the car engine OFF button.
Peter seemed to be breathing heavily, trying to get the anger out of his system. He closed his chocolate eyes, his brown-blonde hair falling into his face. I waited patiently, a little frightened by this sudden turn of events.
He looked up, finally meeting my eyes since I had gotten in the car. "Eve, I know this may sound strange, especially from your point of view, but I didn't leave you stranded. It was for your own safety that I backed off. I was afraid that... I would suddenly kiss you when we talked, or did something else I knew you wouldn't want. I was holding back every second of each day I spent with you, and it was draining more of my energy than I could have possibly imagined. I had become constantly tired, my energy low all the time. It started to affect the football team. Our coach threatened to make Louie the starting quarterback if I didn't get enough sleep. But it wasn't sleep. It was you.
“It wasn't your fault, of course, but I soon got to the point where it was all or nothing. Having you as just my best friend wasn't enough. All my friends were trying to set me up on dates with girls, but I had no interest in them. All I wanted... needed... was you to be mine, and mine alone. I started to get angry whenever you talked to another guy. I tried to deny that it was jealousy, but the evidence was insurmountable.
“Finally, I hiked up the courage to tell you how I felt. To release some of this pent up desire, to make you mine. I thought that you liked me, Eve, but I wasn't sure if you thought of me as just a friend, or something more. My friends assured me that you would love to have me as a boyfriend. I became full of myself, thinking that surely you liked me. All girls did, so why not you?
“But the best thing about you, Eve, is that you are different from everyone else. You were so nice, and caring when I told you my feelings, but I could tell you were surprised by the prospect of going out with me. In fact, liking me had never even crossed your mind. As soon as I uttered the fatal words, I realized that everything would be different from now on. You knew my heart's desire, and the awkwardness would begin.
“I wanted so badly, at that moment, to stay best friends with you, to be by your side. The way you begged me was so tempting, the wonderful possibility you created of staying the same as it was before appealing greatly to me also. But I knew, even though eventually the event would fade in both of our memories that I would never be able to go back.
“I was lovesick for you, Eve. However, I knew that I would only cause you problems. Maybe, eventually, you would go out with me because you felt guilty. You would let me kiss you, breathe in the scent of your hair, hold your hand, and let me be eternally happy. But you, on the other hand? You would be miserable.
“I wasn't surprised when you told me you liked another, but that didn't stop me from being angry. I was disappointed, saddened, and bitter, which was not a good combination. I didn't want you to see me like that, when I would eventually spout off on you and make you even more depressed. I had to leave before my emotions spilled out all over my features and into my voice. The only thing I could do was turn and leave you standing there in the hallway.
“I know you were hurt, badly. You had lost your best friend in a matter of minutes. But I was selfish. I only cared about my pain. The hurt I could only avoid by avoiding you. And also, I hated putting the pressure of knowing your best friend was in love with you upon your shoulders.
“But I never left. I was always there, looking out for you. Maybe I wasn't by your side constantly, but I watched you from a distance. Hoping that, somehow, time would ease the pain. But it didn't... for me and for you.
“When Dex arrived, and when I saw you and him together, I knew. He was your love, and he was fixing your broken heart when I couldn't. I wanted you to be happy, so I left you both alone. But that didn't stop the insane jealousy that still seared through me. I still, though trying to be selfless, wanted him to disappear. So it would be just you and me, just like in seventh grade. He spoiled my hope of you ever coming to choose me over the guy you liked. How could I ever compete with a guy like him? I know you aren't superficial, Eve, and I know you don't fall for looks alone, but he was...is everything you could want. He was...is the ideal match for you, the perfect guy for the perfect girl.
“And even though, now, I am happy he is gone, I still am angry at him for leaving you. For hurting you. The jerk ripped your heart into a million pieces and didn't even bother to leave you a broom and dustpan to clean it up. I don't know the details, but I'm sure it was horrible for you," he looked at me, his gaze steady and comforting. "I want to help, Eve, in any way I can."
"Oh, Peter, I'm sorry," I said softly, sadly, "I... I never knew," I took his hand, holding it tightly. At least now I understood.
"I just want you to be happy," he whispered to the wind, my ears barely catching his words.
"I am, Peter. Right now, I am," I smiled and held his hand close to my heart.
Honestly, I never knew if I would return his feelings. He seemed to know that too, his expression of sadness. But what mattered most was that we, at this moment in time, were both content.

"What's going on between you and Peter?" Sadie prodded me on the way to lunch, "Did something happen in the ride to school?"
"We made up," I said, carefully navigating through the throng of people. We hung close together, our whispers only heard by each other.
"Are you two going out?" she asked excitedly.
I sighed, "No, Sadie," She had only asked me that three million times since she spotted me holding Peter's hand in his car as we arrived at school. Sadie really was unrelenting.
"But you will be, right?" she queried, her animation unsuppressed.
"Sadie, now might be a good time to stop talking. I might just slap you if you say another word about Peter right now," I warned, my irritation showing in my tone.
She grinned, "Okay. So... do you want to sit with us today?"
"Um... what?"
"At our lunch table."
The popular table? No way.
"No," I stated firmly. She grabbed my arm, squeezing it in protest.
"Ple-e-e-e-ease?" she begged, a pouty look to her features, "HE will be there."
"No."
"For me?"
"No."
"Eve, if you don't come sit with us, I might say a few stories about you to Akemi and Ayako," she threatened. Fear flashed through my mind, and also... the possibility. The possibility of sitting with Sadie and Peter and just being normal. To return to seventh grade, when I was happy, Dex in the farthest corner of my mind.
"Fine," I huffed, through secretly enthralled at the prospect. Sadie breaks into a marvelous grin, a strand of her golden hair falling into her face. Her eyes crinkled with delight, dimples appearing. Sadie was so pretty.
We reached the lunchroom doors, our matching lunch boxes in hand. Old and worn with age, it was a dull gray, the paint long gone. It made a creaking sound as I swung it open for both of us, releasing